Re: The Fearsome Encounter (GBS3G8) [Round 1: Circumlocution]
04-27-2012, 07:20 AM
Originally posted on MSPA by Schazer.
"Unholy fucks of Lucchesse's whore-mother, that's trippy," drawled a loon, astonishment clearly not addling his foul-mouthed vocabulary.
"Can we order him to do it again? For science? Or magic, if Orpridge wants to toady up to Chordeilis some more?"
"If you two troglodytes try one more frog joke-" exploded the tawny frog-mouth, leaping with a shriek and a clatter over their insubstantial table to wring an insubstantial neck or two. Reynard the blue jay ignored them, trying really hard to read a few missives. (Trying, not simply due to the fracas around him, but to actually will such paperwork into existence. If it weren't for the meeting hall several notaries and notable imbeciles were assorted around, he'd consider the Vizier's theories a load of crock.)
He thought he was getting somewhere (either that or he was hallucinating rectangles) when Ms. Archer's pet idiot strode through a closed door. The vulture flapped clumsily over to the three arguing imbeciles, lost them under his bulk for a moment, then craned down to have a look and found them.
"Mizzarch said you three need to shut..."
Bal frowned; Orpridge looked too petrified to finish the sentence. "Up?" Reynard suggested. Some bootlicker burst into hearty guffaws, realised he was alone, and shut up before anyone could identify him. Bal thought about it a while longer, and shook his head.
"Bigger word."
"... their faces?" offered someone else in the galleries.
A tui snorted with a sound like a rotten branch being trodden on. "Two words. Native tongues comprising six million words each a sentence in self, and even I know that.*"
"IT WAS CAKEHOLES, YOU LEGENDARILY MORONIC BRUTE. I CANNOT DEDICATE MORE THAN POINT TWO PERCENT OF MY PROCESSING SPACE TO LINGUISTICS, LET ALONE COLLOQUIALISMS, AND EVEN I UNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS SAYING. VARKLESTAJ**, THIS IS YOUR ONlY WARNING TO NOT INTERJECT WITH YOUR PEDANTRY. AGENT BAUER HAS BROUGHT A PERSON OF INTEREST, SO GET OFF THE TABLE THE FOUR OF YOU."
Zil, racketeer extraordinaire, snickered from behind the vulture's leg at his partner in crime.
<font size="1">"Hey. Hey. September."
"What?"
"Orpribbit."
The drongo and the loon screamed with laugher. Then somebody round the table must've realised Enforcer was still definitely a thing, and some more presumably-arduous probably-mudslinging discussions were, ostensibly, had.
---
Lucchesse, meanwhile, laid into every squawking imbecile with righteous beak and claw, tidily punctuating every wrenching of limbs with how none. of you useless. featherbrained. morons. could be called. to do any. bloody. better.
Then Enforcer, not quite sure whether it was observing some kind of strange avian phenomena or just falling prey to the painted man's decoy, grabbed the fish-owl.</font>
"Explain presence, under pretense the listener were capable."
A pause. The junglefowl appeared after a moment, glaring at the machine for a moment before turning his back on it, addressing the remnants of the flock.
"Inside. Chordeilis' orders, under whose judgement remaining out here is a violation of Avery's Laws. If you wish to argue your point, do it inside with the law-weaver, not out here." It spun around, and cocked its head this time to Enforcer. "Ud tiy understand me, please qlur one moment."
"Pause?"
"Yes."
"Nonetheless, expecting explanation urgently."
"Understood." Luchesse had at least the good sense to not try and fight his way out ouf the robot's crush grip, and vanished with the rest of them.
A further moment's deliberation later - where most of Parliament agreed they'd understood the robot, and Ms. Archer had firmly called anyone who suggested she go out to negotiate as an "IGNORANT RACIST FLESHBAG" - and a bee hummingbird materialsed with a soft pop. It took to the heady air on thrumming wings, before perching on Parliament's motionless head.
"We quag ri settle rgua peacefully, machine. We have bi quag ri engage hostilities." Enforcer struggled to fill the gaps, but eventually its stance settled just a little.
"Mere peace promises insufficient," intoned Enforcer. "Mannequin's appearance hardly coincidental, when other intruders appear concurrently. Establishing conversant's non-involvement where recent system damages are concerned required, else presumed belligerent's destruction imminent."
"We're qukkubf ri prove iyw desire ri co-operate, machine. There ua, however, one problem. Rwlbaklruib."
"... Excuse me?"
The hummingbird raised a wing in frustrated gesture, not bothering to look to anyone for support.
"The language barrier?"
"Cripes! Everything's clearer then."
"Really."
"Indeed. Persons trapped betwixt these geographical bounds experience vexing restrictions regarding lexical variety."
"We knew yjsy," growled the hummingbird, with the voice of something far larger and more carnivorous than its little body suggested. "The entity responsible gpt pit invading-" Enforcer had that little twitch of incomprehension; Kruger tried again with "-encroaching? Yes, the one responsible gpt pit encroaching thine realm-" the Pantheran habitually rasped his tongue there, at unaccustomed words he hadn't intended to say. At a sharp-minded guess, he supposed that Parliament's internal translators were adapting to help it survive in a hostile situation. "-hauled those others who're hobomh thine grief. We have little intention pg angering upi natives, especially when iyw supposed partners are apparently dp mindlessly destructive."
The robot seemed to consider, glancing partway across the lake, and shook its head. "Mere verbal assertions insufficient. Threatening thine destruction - befitting thee the system's presumed destroyers, else accomplices thereof - begets further evidence's need, defendant. Lest mine internal directions dictate lethal force."
Kruger - fourteen feet of grace and deadliness from pointed ears to thick-padded paws, once upon a time - was silent for so long, he could almost hear Parliament screaming at him to save their worthless hides.
"We offer assistance - encompassing intelligence, possible expertise, exotic experiences, then. Even Encyclopedia, when the allied being therein regains their senses. Threatening thine estate clearly exceeds abilities exhibited vt the likes id l novel, iw l rabble id feathered spectres."
Enforcer pondered, then waved a missile-clad arm as it strode off.
"Very well. We are leaving, ensuring Circumvent Generator's protection. More questions addressable, provided answers are reciprocal."
"Unholy fucks of Lucchesse's whore-mother, that's trippy," drawled a loon, astonishment clearly not addling his foul-mouthed vocabulary.
"Can we order him to do it again? For science? Or magic, if Orpridge wants to toady up to Chordeilis some more?"
"If you two troglodytes try one more frog joke-" exploded the tawny frog-mouth, leaping with a shriek and a clatter over their insubstantial table to wring an insubstantial neck or two. Reynard the blue jay ignored them, trying really hard to read a few missives. (Trying, not simply due to the fracas around him, but to actually will such paperwork into existence. If it weren't for the meeting hall several notaries and notable imbeciles were assorted around, he'd consider the Vizier's theories a load of crock.)
He thought he was getting somewhere (either that or he was hallucinating rectangles) when Ms. Archer's pet idiot strode through a closed door. The vulture flapped clumsily over to the three arguing imbeciles, lost them under his bulk for a moment, then craned down to have a look and found them.
"Mizzarch said you three need to shut..."
Bal frowned; Orpridge looked too petrified to finish the sentence. "Up?" Reynard suggested. Some bootlicker burst into hearty guffaws, realised he was alone, and shut up before anyone could identify him. Bal thought about it a while longer, and shook his head.
"Bigger word."
"... their faces?" offered someone else in the galleries.
A tui snorted with a sound like a rotten branch being trodden on. "Two words. Native tongues comprising six million words each a sentence in self, and even I know that.*"
"IT WAS CAKEHOLES, YOU LEGENDARILY MORONIC BRUTE. I CANNOT DEDICATE MORE THAN POINT TWO PERCENT OF MY PROCESSING SPACE TO LINGUISTICS, LET ALONE COLLOQUIALISMS, AND EVEN I UNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS SAYING. VARKLESTAJ**, THIS IS YOUR ONlY WARNING TO NOT INTERJECT WITH YOUR PEDANTRY. AGENT BAUER HAS BROUGHT A PERSON OF INTEREST, SO GET OFF THE TABLE THE FOUR OF YOU."
Zil, racketeer extraordinaire, snickered from behind the vulture's leg at his partner in crime.
<font size="1">"Hey. Hey. September."
"What?"
"Orpribbit."
The drongo and the loon screamed with laugher. Then somebody round the table must've realised Enforcer was still definitely a thing, and some more presumably-arduous probably-mudslinging discussions were, ostensibly, had.
---
Lucchesse, meanwhile, laid into every squawking imbecile with righteous beak and claw, tidily punctuating every wrenching of limbs with how none. of you useless. featherbrained. morons. could be called. to do any. bloody. better.
Then Enforcer, not quite sure whether it was observing some kind of strange avian phenomena or just falling prey to the painted man's decoy, grabbed the fish-owl.</font>
"Explain presence, under pretense the listener were capable."
A pause. The junglefowl appeared after a moment, glaring at the machine for a moment before turning his back on it, addressing the remnants of the flock.
"Inside. Chordeilis' orders, under whose judgement remaining out here is a violation of Avery's Laws. If you wish to argue your point, do it inside with the law-weaver, not out here." It spun around, and cocked its head this time to Enforcer. "Ud tiy understand me, please qlur one moment."
"Pause?"
"Yes."
"Nonetheless, expecting explanation urgently."
"Understood." Luchesse had at least the good sense to not try and fight his way out ouf the robot's crush grip, and vanished with the rest of them.
A further moment's deliberation later - where most of Parliament agreed they'd understood the robot, and Ms. Archer had firmly called anyone who suggested she go out to negotiate as an "IGNORANT RACIST FLESHBAG" - and a bee hummingbird materialsed with a soft pop. It took to the heady air on thrumming wings, before perching on Parliament's motionless head.
"We quag ri settle rgua peacefully, machine. We have bi quag ri engage hostilities." Enforcer struggled to fill the gaps, but eventually its stance settled just a little.
"Mere peace promises insufficient," intoned Enforcer. "Mannequin's appearance hardly coincidental, when other intruders appear concurrently. Establishing conversant's non-involvement where recent system damages are concerned required, else presumed belligerent's destruction imminent."
"We're qukkubf ri prove iyw desire ri co-operate, machine. There ua, however, one problem. Rwlbaklruib."
"... Excuse me?"
The hummingbird raised a wing in frustrated gesture, not bothering to look to anyone for support.
"The language barrier?"
"Cripes! Everything's clearer then."
"Really."
"Indeed. Persons trapped betwixt these geographical bounds experience vexing restrictions regarding lexical variety."
"We knew yjsy," growled the hummingbird, with the voice of something far larger and more carnivorous than its little body suggested. "The entity responsible gpt pit invading-" Enforcer had that little twitch of incomprehension; Kruger tried again with "-encroaching? Yes, the one responsible gpt pit encroaching thine realm-" the Pantheran habitually rasped his tongue there, at unaccustomed words he hadn't intended to say. At a sharp-minded guess, he supposed that Parliament's internal translators were adapting to help it survive in a hostile situation. "-hauled those others who're hobomh thine grief. We have little intention pg angering upi natives, especially when iyw supposed partners are apparently dp mindlessly destructive."
The robot seemed to consider, glancing partway across the lake, and shook its head. "Mere verbal assertions insufficient. Threatening thine destruction - befitting thee the system's presumed destroyers, else accomplices thereof - begets further evidence's need, defendant. Lest mine internal directions dictate lethal force."
Kruger - fourteen feet of grace and deadliness from pointed ears to thick-padded paws, once upon a time - was silent for so long, he could almost hear Parliament screaming at him to save their worthless hides.
"We offer assistance - encompassing intelligence, possible expertise, exotic experiences, then. Even Encyclopedia, when the allied being therein regains their senses. Threatening thine estate clearly exceeds abilities exhibited vt the likes id l novel, iw l rabble id feathered spectres."
Enforcer pondered, then waved a missile-clad arm as it strode off.
"Very well. We are leaving, ensuring Circumvent Generator's protection. More questions addressable, provided answers are reciprocal."
Spoiler
peace to the unsung peace to the martyrs | i'm johnny rotten appleseed
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow