Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC

> SWORD OF THE FLAME DJINN: Offer UNSATISFACTORY WISHES.

"You knooooow," hisses the sword. "You could simply wishhhh your way back home."

You sensibly ignore it. Even a STAID BUSINESSMAN like yourself knows that DJINNI (FIRE OR OTHERWISE) are always up to no good and usually end up ruining whatever you wish for.

>Meditate to focus and gather any magical powers you may have.

You have no MAGICAL POWERS whatsoever! Ever since you arrived in this RIDICULOUS WORLD, you have staunchly refused to learn anything about MAGICAL PRACTIONERY, discover any INNATE MYSTICAL POWERS, or UNLOCK THE MYSTERIES OF YOUR SOUL. Your SHEER MUNDANITY actually makes it very difficult for FOUL SORCERERS or NOBLE HEALERS alike to work their ARCANE WITCHERY on you.

> Examine the rest of your belongings, if any.

> Inventory

Ahh, your INVENTORY. Or, more properly, your BACKPACK OF HOLDING. As frivolous and ridiculous as magic is on the whole, you have to admit it has a few uses. Currently residing in the NON-SPACIAL DEPTHS of your humble little rucksack are:

• Seven (7) pouches FINE EARL GREY TEA
  
• Three (3) HEALING POTIONS
  
• One (1) MANA POTION you have no use for
  
• Infinity (∞) ft. MAGIC ROPE
  
• One (1) DAGGER OF THE SPARK DJINN
  
• One (1) jar of HELPFUL BUTTERFLY SPIRITS
  
• One (1) WAND OF WONDERMENT
  
• Two (2) BALMS OF INVISIBILITY
  
• One (1) UNOPENABLE TOME
  
• Three (3) LEGAL TABLETS
  
• Five (5) BALLPOINT PENS (assorted colors)
  
• One (1) THE JENKINS ACCOUNT
  
• One (1) LAPTOP COMPUTER
  
• One (1) BRIEFCASE
  
• Four (4) BROKEN ICY ARROWS[/list:u]
  
  It's not much and it's fairly eclectic, but it's served you fine so far.
  
  

  Check out one of those sweet floating islands

  Go to the upside down city of green lights instead.

  
  
  You approach the FLOATING ISLANDS OF SOME KIND; as you near, you can see they're tethered together somehow, and the larger one is attached to the ground with an ENORMOUS LENGTH OF CHAIN.
  
  A sign next to the CHAIN helpfully informs you that these are the CLOUDLANDS OF THE ORACLE. You wish someone had just written that down... Signs shouldn't talk.