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+---- Thread: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC (/showthread.php?tid=113)
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Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Ixcaliber - 11-05-2011
Spoiler
![[Image: PatrickSpauldingandTheLandofWonder.png]](https://i699.photobucket.com/albums/vv360/Ixcaliber/PatrickSpauldingandTheLandofWonder.png)
You are PATRICK SPAULDING, a BRITISH BUSINESS MAN who some time ago was UNCEREMONIOUSLY PULLED THROUGH A RIP IN SPACE AND TIME to the MAGICAL LAND OF WONDER. For days you have wandered this INSANE LAND, managing to acquire the SWORD OF THE FLAME DJINN through SHEER LUCK. You long for the day that you will find a means through which you can return to your HOMEWORLD and leave this FANTASTICAL KINGDOM behind once and for all.
In the distance shimmers the CITY OF THE SHINING BLUE LIGHTS. From what little information you have gathered from INFORMATION GNOMES and HELPFUL BUTTERFLY SPIRITS you have come to believe that this is your best shot at returning home, though you have been THRICELY WARNED; "NOBODY EVER RETURNS FROM THE CITY OF SHINING BLUE LIGHTS."
You should take some time to prepare before venturing towards THE CITY OF THE SHINING BLUE LIGHTS.
>
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Infrared - 11-05-2011
> Be Tron
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Schazer - 11-05-2011
Get a really long and preferably enchanted rope, tie it to a nearby tree, and tie the other end to your midriff so you can find your way out again.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Dragon Fogel - 11-05-2011
>Screw that, go for the city of red lights instead. Red is so much cooler.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Jacquerel - 11-06-2011
Check out one of those sweet floating islands
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Yoshi - 11-06-2011
Go to the upside down city of green lights instead.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - thegreenspark - 11-06-2011
> Examine the rest of your belongings, if any.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - AgentBlue - 11-06-2011
>Ask a nearby INFORMATION GNOME where the tea is, for the umpteenth time.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - GreyGabe - 11-07-2011
>Meditate to focus and gather any magical powers you may have.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - MaxieSatan - 11-08-2011
> SWORD OF THE FLAME DJINN: Offer UNSATISFACTORY WISHES.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Godbot - 11-09-2011
> Try and find a telescope, so that you can get a better look at the city and find out what else you might need.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Fabricati - 11-09-2011
> Inventory
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Dragon Fogel - 11-10-2011
This adventure is now going to be updated by SleepingOrange.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - SleepingOrange - 11-11-2011
MrGuy Wrote:> SWORD OF THE FLAME DJINN: Offer UNSATISFACTORY WISHES.
![[Image: spaulding1.png]](https://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff258/CeramicOrange/Other%20Adventures/spaulding1.png)
"You knooooow," hisses the sword. "You could simply wishhhh your way back home."
You sensibly ignore it. Even a STAID BUSINESSMAN like yourself knows that DJINNI (FIRE OR OTHERWISE) are always up to no good and usually end up ruining whatever you wish for.
GreyGabe Wrote:>Meditate to focus and gather any magical powers you may have.
![[Image: spaulding2.gif]](https://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff258/CeramicOrange/Other%20Adventures/spaulding2.gif)
You have no MAGICAL POWERS whatsoever! Ever since you arrived in this RIDICULOUS WORLD, you have staunchly refused to learn anything about MAGICAL PRACTIONERY, discover any INNATE MYSTICAL POWERS, or UNLOCK THE MYSTERIES OF YOUR SOUL. Your SHEER MUNDANITY actually makes it very difficult for FOUL SORCERERS or NOBLE HEALERS alike to work their ARCANE WITCHERY on you.
thegreenspark Wrote:> Examine the rest of your belongings, if any.
Fabricati Wrote:> Inventory
![[Image: spaulding3-1.gif]](https://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff258/CeramicOrange/Other%20Adventures/spaulding3-1.gif)
Ahh, your INVENTORY. Or, more properly, your BACKPACK OF HOLDING. As frivolous and ridiculous as magic is on the whole, you have to admit it has a few uses. Currently residing in the NON-SPACIAL DEPTHS of your humble little rucksack are:
- Seven (7) pouches FINE EARL GREY TEA
- Three (3) HEALING POTIONS
- One (1) MANA POTION you have no use for
- Infinity (â) ft. MAGIC ROPE
- One (1) DAGGER OF THE SPARK DJINN
- One (1) jar of HELPFUL BUTTERFLY SPIRITS
- One (1) WAND OF WONDERMENT
- Two (2) BALMS OF INVISIBILITY
- One (1) UNOPENABLE TOME
- Three (3) LEGAL TABLETS
- Five (5) BALLPOINT PENS (assorted colors)
- One (1) THE JENKINS ACCOUNT
- One (1) LAPTOP COMPUTER
- One (1) BRIEFCASE
- Four (4) BROKEN ICY ARROWS[/list:u]
It's not much and it's fairly eclectic, but it's served you fine so far.
Jacquerel Wrote:Check out one of those sweet floating islands
Yoshi Wrote:Go to the upside down city of green lights instead.
![[Image: spaulding4.png]](https://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff258/CeramicOrange/Other%20Adventures/spaulding4.png)
You approach the FLOATING ISLANDS OF SOME KIND; as you near, you can see they're tethered together somehow, and the larger one is attached to the ground with an ENORMOUS LENGTH OF CHAIN.
A sign next to the CHAIN helpfully informs you that these are the CLOUDLANDS OF THE ORACLE. You wish someone had just written that down... Signs shouldn't talk.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - MaxieSatan - 11-11-2011
> Climb the chain to the island. If that doesn't work, fashion and use a GRAPPLING HOOK OF SORTS out of your SPARK DAGGER and INFINITE ROPE.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Ixcaliber - 11-11-2011
> Yeah right like you would trust a magic oracle to tell you what the future will hold... Then again like you would trust a magic sign to tell you what these islands will hold. Best climb up and confirm it for yourself.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Fabricati - 11-11-2011
Use MAGIC ROPE to CLIMB TO ISLAND. It's infinitely long, so you can knot it in an infinite amount of places, secure it, and away you go!
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Dragon Fogel - 11-11-2011
>Take out the Jenkins Account. It is obviously the key to your success.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - AgentBlue - 11-11-2011
Put the BACKPACK OF HOLDING inside your BRIEFCASE. Carry briefcase.
Much better.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Not The Author - 11-11-2011
If you had an adhesive, you could stick a sheet of paper reading Cloudlands of the Oracle to the sign using a pen and legal pad...
Oh well. Oracles usually know things, I guess. Maybe you should go see them? Ask the... er, sign if there's an easier way up than climbing the chain. ...Also, do this before sticking the paper to it.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Iriri - 11-11-2011
Man you know you just got to wish for stuff that can't really go wrong, like TALENT or AWESOME MUSCLES.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - GreyGabe - 11-12-2011
>Ask the sign if there's an elevator or something. That climb looks like a bit much.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - SleepingOrange - 11-16-2011
AgentBlue Wrote:Put the BACKPACK OF HOLDING inside your BRIEFCASE. Carry briefcase.
Much better.
Sadly, you tried this before. Having to open your BRIEFCASE to open your BACKPACK to get what you want is just a liiittle too inconvenient in LIFE-THREATENING SITUATIONS. You've made several NOTES on your LEGAL PAD to find a BRIEFCASE OF HOLDING, but predictably have had no luck yet.
Not The Author Wrote:Ask the... er, sign if there's an easier way up than climbing the chain.
GreyGabe Wrote:>Ask the sign if there's an elevator or something. That climb looks like a bit much.
![[Image: spaulding5.png]](https://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff258/CeramicOrange/Other%20Adventures/spaulding5.png)
"Is there any other way up to the island?"
"Welcome to the CLOUDLANDS OF THE ORACLE!"
"... Right. But is there a better way to get there?"
"Welcome to the CLOUDLANDS OF THE ORACLE!"
See, this is exactly why you hate magic.
MrGuy Wrote:> Climb the chain to the island.
Ixcaliber Wrote:Best climb up and confirm it for yourself.
Fabricati Wrote:Use MAGIC ROPE to CLIMB TO ISLAND. It's infinitely long, so you can knot it in an infinite amount of places, secure it, and away you go!
![[Image: spaulding6.png]](https://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff258/CeramicOrange/Other%20Adventures/spaulding6.png)
You head up the ENORMOUS CHAIN; at first, you try making the climb easier with your MAGIC ROPE, but it just takes more time and effort than using the LINKS as HAND- AND FOOTHOLDS so you pack it back away and get climbing.
It takes an astonishingly short time to crest the CHAIN; you're barely even winded when you get there and see...
![[Image: spaulding7.png]](https://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff258/CeramicOrange/Other%20Adventures/spaulding7.png)
You know, you'd been hoping it was called the CLOUDLANDS just because it was up in the sky.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - MaxieSatan - 11-16-2011
> Punch that sad cloud in his stupid cloud face.
Re: Patrick Spaulding and the Land of Wonder - FSEAC - Yoshi - 11-16-2011
Hit on that cloud gal up ahead