The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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>Vernier: As Adler approaches you, point out that surely there are more interesting things to bet on than how long it takes someone to wake up.
>Adler: You really don't care at this point, they're preoccupied and staying out of trouble. At the very least, they aren't betting on you.
>Ixie: Now you wouldn't say that. 5 aphids that the rabbit witch interrupts him before he can finish.
>Another Ixie: 7 aphids that he goes into another infatuation fit.
>Adler: You know, was the sugar addiction really that bad?

"Surely," Vernier sighed as I approached, "there must be more interesting things to bet on than how long it takes someone to wake up."

"At this point I no longer care," I shrugged. "It's impossible to stop them. At least now they're off the sugar - as far as I know - and far less inclined toward treachery. And for once they're not betting on me."

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"A regrettable oversight," an Ixie declared as she buzzed around me. "Five aphids yon rabbit witch interrupteth him again before he can finish this conversation."

"No takers!" another Ixie retorted. "Seven aphids he goeth into another fit of lovelorn goo-goo eyes."

"Before or after the rabbit?"

"Before!"

"Thou'rt on!"

>Vernier: Once again scold the ixies for betting on Adler's actions. Carrying on this way not only erodes his self confidence, but also his confidence in them. How can they live with themselves when their own grandfather feels alienated and belittled by them?
>Ixies: Eek! She's giving you the angry eyes again! Scatter!

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"For shame!" Vernier scolded. "How can you treat your worthy sire this way? Betting on his actions as if he were a racing ant or a Raccoon Monster! Disgraceful! Don't you see how this erodes not only his self-confidence, but his confidence in you as well? How can you live with yourselves knowing that you constantly alienate and belittle him?"

"Cheese it!" the Ixies yelled as they scattered and flew away.

>Adler: You gawk at Vernier completely smitten by how she handled that situation. Truly there is nothing this lowfolk cannot do. You stand there staring at Vernier for an uncomfortable amount of time.

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Amazing. Simply amazing. I thought nobody could handle this unruly swarm of Ixies, but Vernier made them toe the line. What a truly remarkable femme. Was there anything she couldn't do? I stood there, gazing upon her with the deepest admiration for a few moments while I waited for my heart to stop pounding.

"Pay up," an Ixie called from across the clearing.

"What did I just say??" Vernier snarled.

"Yipes," the Ixie replied, and all was quiet.

>Vernier: He's doing that thing again. It's cute, but he'll never get through this if he doesn't focus. You don't like doing this, but in the interest of moving this along... *Ahem* "One of the qualities I admire most in a man is the ability to focus."
>Adler: You heard the lady. Prove your focusing prowess.

"You know," Vernier sighed after a slight pause. "One of the traits I admire most about mels is their ability to concentrate. It's so dreamily handsome the way they can just keep their minds completely focused on business."

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"It's high time we eliminate all further distraction and cut right to the heart of the matter," I declared decisively, smacking my fist into my other hand for emphasis.