Lucidstuck II

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O.I: The dark asylum is an alteration of a section of the dreamworld, originating from you, that amplifies your powers significantly. We know for sure that you're already in yours because Nightmare told us that you are. Your asylum is the reason the construct is possible in the first place.
Daydream: So this place... Was an ability? Interesting...
O.I: Dark asylums are closely related to shadows. Derrick's shadow has talked about giving him access to it, and Lucia entered hers when her shadow used it to teach her a lesson about independence. This is why she was suddenly able to use many of her powers without ira.
Daydream: .... Hmm.
Daydream: But I've never interacted with the "shadow", how is it that I was able to create my Event Horizon?-- Ahh, I should know better than to ask questions right away. Continue.
O.I: But then, you're in your asylum even though you were previously unaware that your shadow existed. So what does that mean for you? We haven't confirmed it, but it's quite possible that you're in your asylum because your shadow wants to teach you something, just like how it was with Lucia before.
Daydream: .... Are you fucking kidding me...
Daydream: The "shadow" is messing with my plans??
O.I: Garreth has what amounts to supernatural intuition, and he came to that same conclusion, that the construct was a lesson to you from yourself, without even knowing that dark asylums exist. He thought this was why you couldn't just kill Lucia to solve your problems.
Daydream: Ugh... How ridiculous.
O.I: If you were to be more in touch with your shadow, or the lesson she wants you to learn, you would be better able to work with the construct.
Daydream: I see. But what is it? Where are they?
O.I: Your shadow is something you're deliberately not thinking about, an aspect of yourself that you're trying to supress. When lil mal appears, it's actually using your shadow to manipulate you. But you're not inviting lil mal by getting to know your shadow, it actually helps prevent its appearance.
Daydream: The shadow is a part of me? Like a conjuration? Where did it originate and how?
Daydream: No one has ever mentioned this concept before.
O.I: The reason we were so set on talking about your shadow here, besides not being able to do that in our last meeting, is because this situation with Derrick and your closet could possibly pertain to whatever aspect of yourself you're deliberately avoiding.
Daydream: ..... Okay.
O.I: If you want to get in touch with your shadow, you could try to take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts, when we're done chattering at you. Failing that, Raziel might be able to tell you something, somehow. He can't talk, but he can still move, right? Maybe if you gave him a medium to express himself?
Daydream: I'll consider asking him.
O.I: One more option for trying to talk to your shadow: Since we know one 'rule' is that you can't kill Lucia to fix your problems, maybe you could have a talk with Lucia about why you wanted to do that in the first place.
Daydream: Carefully. Maybe she actually has some insights you haven't thought of.
Daydream: .... She was the reason I created this place, why were are stuck in this dream.
Daydream: I hate her. This hatred burns hot.
Daydream: ...Well... I did hate her, and it did burn hot.
Daydream: I have no more energy left to stoke that pyre.
Daydream: But that is why I did it.
O.I: What about those two sides of you that you mentioned? The ones that want each other to die? Is one of them more 'other' to you? Is there something you'd name these sides of you?
Daydream: ... There is a side of me that understands perfectly right and wrong. I know how to act and to behave rationally.
Daydream: The other side just wants to do what it wants, fuck everything and everyone else.
Daydream: It is a war. The side that knows right, dies slowly when it does wrong.
Daydream: The side that has no fucks loathes when it doesn't get its way.
Daydream: They fight nonstop in my head, and both sides tend to get their way sooner or later, creating a cycle of self-hate.
O.I: You can do this daydream to fix all of your wrongs in life. YOU have to be the hero who has to face all their sins. You must have the courage and willingness to take on all the guilt and regret to face your shadow
Daydream: I just want to get this over with now.
O.I: Glad to see that you're more willing to speak on shadows. It's very easy to understand why you're scared, and you can't be blamed for that. While everyone is always a bit scared about the truth of themselves, it makes sense that someone who's whole persona is so wrapped up in the concept of lies would be so stubborn about it.
Daydream: Right...
O.I: Truthfully, there's not very much that we know about dark asylums, other than that they are manifestations of who you really are and what you really want deep down.
Daydream: That aligns to the thoughts I felt when I created this environment. I just wanted Derrick to live.
O.I: Your asylum, the construct, seems to be a medium where you can have whatever you want if you weave the right lies. However it hasn't been going in your favor with all these other free agents running around inside it.
Daydream: Not to mention yourselves.
O.I: I believe that we won't be able to help much beyond our own speculation. You really should just take a moment to find yourself.
Daydream: I'm right here. What's next? hehe...
O.I: I know you seem to believe you know yourself, but you can't even speak to Raziel. You say you feel like you're two halves that want the other dead! I think you know who you WANT to be, and are very afraid that's not who you actually are.
Daydream: ............
Daydream: Like I said, I do not know why Raziel doesn't speak.
Daydream: I understand myself. I'm fucked up. I know it, you know it. Everyone knows it... For the most part.
Daydream: I do not shy away from what I am, who I claim to be.
O.I: That's okay too! Like the others say, the best way to begin knowing and accepting yourself is to confront these things that concern or scare you.
Daydream: I'm not afraid of a stupid shadow!
Daydream: Listen, the shit I've experienced over close to or even over a thousand years would dwarf whatever the fuck this is.
O.I: Many of us would likely kill for the opportunity you have, to speak with your demons directly. I know I would. There's a lot a mind can hid from itself given the effort, time, and a motive.
Daydream: The demon is conscious and it's me.
O.I: As for the construct being a "test" given by your shadow... that idea does sound rather plausible. Could be something to ask yourself. I too like to think you're trying to teach yourself how to cooperate.
Daydream: It is not a test, I created this place because I wanted to save my brother!!
O.I: Your friend lexii on the outside is who brought us here. I like to think that she manifested us as a way to teach you cooperation as well.
Daydream: ..... Lexii, huh?
Daydream: Didn't think her skillset allowed for such a powerful group to freely roam as it pleases.
O.I: As a collection of faceless voices, there's nothing we can do to affect your world directly, only whisper in your thoughts, or on rare occasions speak directly.
Daydream: I doubt that. You've quite literally changed most aspects of the timeline, we are in uncharted territory.
O.I: However with all of us and our own ideas, we often disagree. It's a pain to see some of our own ideas fail to influence you lot, and even more when our influence doesn't do what we desired.
Daydream: We're not puppets on a string. Influence is still only that.
O.I: Everything really would be so much easier if it went our own individual ways, but nobody can have that. Reality is cruel and disappointing. People can be confusing, stubborn, or unwilling to compromise.
Daydream: Okay...
O.I: the best we can do, the best you can do, is to try and cooperate.
Daydream: That's what I'm doing.
O.I: Frankly, I'm very proud of you for coming along so far in such a long time. I know it was hard at first to accept us, but you did it.
Daydream: ..........
O.I: Take your time with this. Just relax, and when you're ready ask yourself questions, look deep down, as deep as you can go. Listen to anything you have to say. Do not try and rationalize your own answers until you can fully feel the responses. You might feel your two halves colliding, and you might feel scared, but that's okay. Feel it. Go through it and learn yourself.
Daydream: ............
O.I: At the very end, we'll still be here on the other side to help you process.
Daydream: Well, if you say so...
O.I: I agree with the others. You're making such progress and we're very proud of you.
Daydream: Alright, I'm awesome... Stop it.
O.I: We may not be able to directly help you face yourself, if that's what you choose to do, but we'll be there at the end.
O.I: Whatever happens, you've got this.
Daydream: Okay... Sooo...
Daydream: Okay, you're quiet now.
Daydream: What do I do again? She's me, right? The shadow...
Daydream: She created the Event Horizon...?
Daydream: Nononono... I did that. That was all me.
Daydream: This makes no sense.
Daydream: How do I talk to me, I'm right here??
Daydream: Hello Alice, how are you doing?
Daydream: "I'm fine Alice, thanks for asking" Hehehe...
Daydream: -sigh-
Daydream: Do I just sit still? I do that all the time. YEARS.
Daydream: All I do is sit in my stupid chair, and comb through memories. I never feel completely alone because I have Razzy, even though he doesn't talk I talk to him quite a bit.
Daydream: ....
Daydream: ...... This is stupid, nothing is happening. What am I doing wrong, Aliens?