The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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>Adler: This has got to be the most angsty and self-indulgent pile of burning teen garbage that you've ever seen. Half of this journal is her declaring that she'll use her new dark powers to get revenge on everyone who ever picked on her in school and the other half is her reinterpreting everything you say to suit her internal narrative. You quite clearly remember telling her that you are a seelie elf that looks to bring goodness into the world for the glory of Fuma and you have no intention of walking down the evil path. She interpreted that to mean you are going to invent a completely new form of dark morality that renders the concepts of good and evil meaningless. This is followed by a crude doodle of you with demon wings wearing a burning crown made from bones and eyeballs. Ew. You have to wonder if Rebecca is delusional or just plain stupid.
>Burnside: Dang, you've GOT to see this. Woah! That girl is twisted. She was born to be unseelie, Adler can't corrupt someone so perfectly deranged! It would be a crime!

"Oh no no no," I muttered as I flipped through page after page of fashion drawings, hairstyle concepts, and strange dark teenage power fantasies. "My dear girl, you've gotten it all wrong. My powers are not for getting petty revenge on people who were mean to you in school. I said I was a Seelie elf with no intention of walking the Unseelie path. You seem to be under the impression that means I am inventing a whole new morality that renders the concepts of good and evil meaningless."

"I knew it, My Lord," Rebecca gushed excitedly.

"I don't wear a crown of ... what is that? Flaming bones? And I don't have antlers," I insisted, indicating one of her illustrations.

"I hope someday you consider me worthy to behold your true form with my naked eyes, My Lord," Rebecca intoned reverently.

"I gotta see this," Burnside chuckled as she tugged on the notebook to get a better look.

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"Whoah nelly!" the raccoon exclaimed. "This gal is natural born Unseelie! Got some artistic talent too! It'd be a dadgum crime to corrupt someone this deranged, Ad- I mean Randall honey. You gotta let her follow her true calling. What does 'Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet' mean?"

Now THAT was even more disturbing. Why would parts of this lowfolk witch-girl's juvenile scrawlings be magickally concealed from Burnside?

>Adler: If it's a crime, then an unseelie little troglodyte like Burnside should be fine with it. You need to work fast. Perhaps it's time you become the mentor. You will prove to yourself and the world of your seeliness by steering this witch obsessed moron onto the path of righteousness. You mentioned a book your old mentor wrote, or authorized, about how to be seelie and still have fun doing it. A little comical mischief never hurt anyone. Try out your ability to apport objects without knowing where they are by conjuring up this book. It'll make good study material for Rebecca and it looks like her lessons will have to begin immediately.

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"If it's a crime then you should be in favor of it," I quipped to Burnside, then turned to address Rebecca. "Clearly I have not communicated to you adequately what we are all about here. Before you stray too far down a completely wrong path, I think it's time I take you under my wing and become a proper mentor."

"Your foul and leathery wing?" Rebecca squealed excitedly. "I'm ready, My Lord! Instruct me in the true and proper ways of darkness!"

"No no no! You shall be learning lighthearted and merry japes! Hmmm, which sourcebook should I use, the Prankenbook of Jack O'Napes, or the Foxspell of Saint Reynard?"