The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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SpoilerPictures! https://adleryoung.tumblr.com or https://www.patreon.com/posts/59969814
Typeandkey gets main writer credit for this episode

>Audience: General murmuring and discussion if it's really worth it to protect Adler. Maybe, just maybe this will be the year you finally get that pet dinosaur you've always wanted.

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Yeah, that's right. I can hear you out there, mulling it over. Calculating the risk. This might just be the year you would have gotten that, uh, that steam calliope you've been hoping for. That's a thing you weirdos like, right? Or a croquet set! Or that monogrammed curling stone that's been on your wish list for years. Or a genuine Vulpitanian Baglute. Just imagine not getting that because some crummy elf wasn't at his post!

Even if you don't know where King Adler the Smelly is hiding, you could still help me look for clues.

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From inside the chest: "No! Don't be tempted! His Majesty took you all into his confidence and trusted you enough to share his life story! This is the highest honor any of you could ever receive! Show yourselves worthy of his trust! Don't betray him, please!"

Hey, pipe down in there, you dumb broad! Do we have to put the Christmas Sweater on you again?

From inside the chest: "Eek! No, it's so tacky!"

All right, I'm done being nice. If nobody's gonna spill the beans, maybe someone will feel more talkative if I just start tearing pages out of this dumb, boring story about badly dressed elves. Or maybe-

>Suddenly, an ornately decorated sheet of stationary appears before the pumpkin in a puff of snowflakes.

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What the heck? A communique from headquarters! Hang on a sec and let me read this.

No kidding?

Well, crud. Time to pack it in. There's no point now. Looks like the Krampus got to him first. If King Stinky Stinkersson thought making toys was bad, well now he's going to find out firsthand where all the coal comes from. If he's lucky. I wouldn't worry though; either way he'll probably survive.

Oh well, maybe we'll bag him next year. As for me, it's time to blow this popsicle stand. There's a certain kangaroo dame who thinks she's a football star that has some payback coming to her.

From inside the chest: "Aren't you going to let me out?"

In your dreams, sister! You'll be fine. There's plenty of eggnog and candy canes in there. Maybe someone will let you out next week.

Meanwhile, I'm outta here. Smell ya later, losers!