I need help.

The events of 2019 were emotionally exhausting. I've certainly been less active myself.

If the act of writing them down is difficult, sometimes changing your method can help get out of your mental block a bit. My preferred method is speaking (recording) then transcribing and editing. Freewriting by hand might also work for you, or speaking with someone else to get the core ideas down.

I'm no expert on webspaces, but last I heard Wordpress was competent and accessible.

Regarding the first post...

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SpoilerWithout being privy to your complaints about the moderation decisions or what the realized fears of contacting a moderator were, I'm left to guess and speculate. Were they they things you mention happening? (-Not feeling you're being taken seriously, -Long wait between responses, -Speaking with the other moderators without permission to share your private conversation)

Regardless if it's about Decision X or potential future cases, the impression I came away with was a desire to relitigate, or for a second moderator team to go over decisions/moderator actions again? Lodge a complaint about a specific moderator? I guess if you have permission from the people involved and people willing to read through all the conversations, but I don't know how that gets around a 'who watches the watchman' concern short of putting things out into the public square?

Hiring the services of a real-life detective/mediator is the solution that comes to mind for having a person experienced in interpersonal conflict resolution with no existing ties to or stakes in the community, which makes it a great narrative device that I have no frame of reference for how such things work/are initiated/handled in real life.

I'm trying to give this thought and not be flippant or callous (And almost certainly failing. I know a detective is unlikely as a 'real solution' but is it in the right ballpark? Am I completely off base with my current interpretation?), though when I have nothing helpful to say I am sorely tempted to say nothing, as I did when you made your first post. I'm tired. I don't think I'm a particularly level-headed person. The task of trying to untangle and interpret other people's interpersonal webs makes me want to curl up and cry. And I've been writing this for too long with nothing helpful or good to say so I'm just going to hit post