RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
10-22-2020, 01:44 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-22-2020, 01:44 AM by tegerioreo.)
Quote:Adler: Is this lowfolk serious? Does he really think he is in a position to threaten you, point out that he is surrounded by sentient trees and shurbs and if he does not believe you then order your shrub soldiers to begin making terrifying sounds.
Lysander: You realize where you are when you hear the horrifying sounds of shrubbery bristling, realize this man before you is Adler the one Ash has told you about, you realize you can probably extort even more gold out of him if you play your cards right.
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"Are you kidding?" I interrupted the monkey's whining tirade. "I don't think you realize where you are nor who you're dealing with."
Lysander paused and looked around, while the trees rustled menacingly (which was a nice touch.)
Quote:Lysander: Begin faking a knee injury even though no one touched your knees "OW! OW, OW, OW! You brutes hurt my knees I need more gold for that surgery now, oh and a bribe for me not to call the guards on you for assault"
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"AY YI YI!" Lysander wailed, suddenly doubling over and clutching his knee. "My knee! You brutes have damaged my knee! You're going to have to pay the cost of my surgery, as well as some hush money if you don't want me to alert the Guards to your activities here!"
Quote:>Adler: Accuse Lysander of faking it. He didn't pipe up until he heard reference to crotch punching. Lysander was faking an injury to extract money from you. You're proud of yourself for figuring this out, you know how lowfolk work now.
>Lysander: You bristle at being referred to as a "lowfolk".
"Forget it, you faker," I scoffed dismissively. "Nobody touched your knees, and you were only pretending to be unconscious earlier. I saw how you suddenly sprang up when I mentioned the Crotch Punch of Life. You're just trying to pull a fast one, to extort money from me. I know how you lowfolk operate. You're worse than Vulpitanians."
"LOWFOLK??" Lysander exclaimed indignantly. "That, sir, is blatant Antipathy Speech! Why, I'll have the, uh, the Non-Elvish Anti-Antipathy Guild come down on you so fast your head will spin! You'll never do business in these woods again! Unless of course you're willing to make amends immediately. You'll find that I am a reasonable monkey. I'm willing to forgive and forget, if the price is right."
The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: https://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.