The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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SpoilerSee those pictures https://www.patreon.com/posts/35542242 or https://adleryoung.tumblr.com

>Angela: Perfect! Your double wiles are working perfectly. Your blatant and obvious attempts at flirting made you seem cute and endearing to him. Keep this up, and he'll be all yours forever.

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"As U command, Sire," Angela chuckled after recovering her equilibrium. "I will go & get teh bestest mushrooms, LOL."

She wrung her hands strangely and flitted off into the forest.

>Then fail to notice the mushrooms she brings you.
>Cook a fairly delicious stew overall nonetheless.
>Adler: Receive mushrooms, complete stew.
>Adler: Take a sip... It's passable... You may be a wizard at making stew, but it's very difficult to make a masterpiece with tainted clay.

I sat, placidly thinking about nothing in particular, and watching my stew simmer. It was coming along nicely.

"Mushrooms, Adler sweetums," Angela chirped.

"Just set them down right there," I murmured, with a vague gesture.

I stirred some more. It was beginning to smell quite intriguing.

Time to taste it.

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"Ah yes," I declared after a cautious sip. "This will do adequately. Not bad at all, considering what I had to work with."

"What about my mushrooms?" Angela asked petulantly.

"What mushrooms?"

"Teh ones I brought from teh forest 4 U!"

"Oh, er, thanks for bringing them," I waffled, not at all sure where they were. "But it turns out they won't be necessary."

(HSH King Alder II) Ponder: what would go well with stew?
(HSH King Adler II) Snap fingers: of course. WINE!
(HSH King Adler II) Visualize where the Royal Wine Cellars were. See many bottles. APPORT!
(Bottles) Turn out to be bottles not of wine, but of ultra high-end fur shampoo, originally ordered for Floozies and for your late brother.

"Now then," I continued, taking another taste of the stew. "What would go well with this earthy, savory, insectoid flavor? Ah yes, of course .. a light white wine."

I tried to recollect the exact location of the Royal wine cellar. I guided my mind down imaginary halls of the palace, based on my memory .. I visualized racks of bottles .. I selected two .. and willed them through the ether to me!

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"Oh," I muttered as I looked at the labels. Apparently I had not accurately remembered the way to the wine cellar. One bottle proudly declared its contents to be "PERSOC GLOW 2-in-1 fur shampoo & conditioner infused with real Peach Essence" and the other was "ADLAND'S OWN Hoof & Horn Gloss."

Well, I wouldn't be drinking either of these .. but the shampoo might be handy as a gift to bestow upon my hair-obsessed cult followers. I put both bottles into my Elfintory and began eating my stew, using as a bowl a fancy gravy boat that I managed to pull from the kitchen.

>Grammayre yourself a tent and a few items of tastefull decoration, you have two days to wait.
>Ixies: Return to Adler with a full report. Explain everything you know about the Rabbits. The Shoe cult is a joint venture between Lady Hawke and Jerry. Hawke funds the cult and Jerry manages it.
Ixies: Report that Jerry is a bearded old maniac

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I had eaten my fill and begun wondering what I should do to spruce up the stone circle for my cultists' visit, when my Ixies returned with news.

"The rabbits are uptight and hate all forms of fun," they reported. "Meanwhile Jerry hath become something akin to a Village Idiot, somehow commanding more respect than usually pertaineth to that position. It could be due to Lady Hawke's inexplicable support. She backeth his uncouth projects - lately he hath taken to pinning shoes all over his body as some form of spiritual armour - at no visible benefit to herself."