MURDERFIA: WOOP ZOOP IT'S CLOBBERING TIME

How I would fix my fries? I shall walk you through it, step by glorious step.

I would begin by setting up my fancy French Mandolin--the blades would be set to "Waffle Cut" and "Quite Thin"! I would cut the potato in half so it didn't slide around, and transform it into wonderful waffle-cut potato slices.

I don't have a deep fryer, so I would take an ordinary pan and fill it with some kind of oil. Olive oil? Canola oil? Vegetable oil? Whatever works. I would heat it up until it's bubbling, and throw some potato slices in to test it.

Once they browned, I would fish them out with a mesh ladle, and set them to dry on some paper towels.

FINALLY, while they were still hot, I would squirt out a mountain of ketchup, lightly season them with salt and pepper, and eat the entire pile of french fries.

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