The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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SpoilerBehold the illustrated version https://www.patreon.com/posts/30454413 or https://adleryoung.tumblr.com

>Angela: Oh - Em - GEE!!!!!!1!!1! Did you see that? The way Sam threw that rock. All you did was make a few lewd hand gestures and already they're fighting over you. Things are moving so fast. Become so overwhelmed with conflicting romantic feelings that you start convulsing and foaming at the mouth.
>Ixies: She's doing the thing again! Quickly gather Angela up and take her somewhere she can cool off. Wonder why this keeps happening.

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"ZOMG!!!1!!1!!!!" Angela squealed. "Did U C teh way Sam thru that rock? There already fighting over meeeee, its all happening to fast!!"

She began convulsing strangely and foaming at the mouth as a few other Ixies flew up, exclaiming "not again" and "time for thee to lie down."

"AHEM," Sam coughed to get my attention as the Ixies escorted their quivering comrade back to the grassy top of the dolmen. "A final onslaught, hit me with. As many arrows as you can."

Once again I raised my bow and let fly a stream of arrows as rapidly as I could.

>Sam: End your demonstration with a big, dramatic flourish.
>Adler: While impressive Sam's trick reveals to your dismay that he's not wearing any underwear.
>Angela noises: Be heard from offscreen.

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Sam flipped over in mid-air and deflected all of the arrows with an incredible flying spinning kick.

"Dude," I said, quoting my late brother as I turned away from the spectacle. "Haven't you ever heard of underwear?"

"Too restricting it is," Sam remarked as he landed on the ground. "Stop wearing it, I recommend you to as well."

"EEEEE," Angela squealed loudly from the dolmen.

"So .. now that the power of Lengra-Cha Vulpitanian Style you have witnessed, ready to begin your training in earnest now are you?" Sam asked.

"Sure," I said optimistically. "Let's do this!"

>Training montage: Begin.
Adler: You can do it Adler you are the best, no one is ever gonna keep you down!
Adler: You are covered in bruises by the end of the training, these are your battle scars! Wear them with pride!
Sam: Become really, really embarrassed being near Adler, he's just plain terrible. Most of his bruises came from the fact he kept doing the exercises wrong.

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He showed me a basic punching and kicking routine and told me to repeat it as many times as I could. I made up a little song to help me keep in a rhythm..

You're an elf, oh yeahh ... no wicked curse will ever keep you down!
You're an elf, oh yeahh ... soon your enemies will hit the ground!

"No singing," Sam snapped as he bapped me with his staff. "Attack to a choreographed beat, your enemies will not. Like this sweep your leg. No, like this. Continue."

I trained furiously until Sam told me to stop. I was bruised, sore and completely winded.

"Whew!" I wheezed as I stretched and rubbed my muscles. "I ache all over! That was a grueling afternoon, but I feel like I've made some progress."

"Only half an hour that was," Sam sighed. "From hitting yourself, most of those bruises are, and from moving wrong your soreness comes. Stop you I had to, before seriously hurt yourself you did. Someone so inept, never seen have I. Harder than I expected, this is going to be."

(Laughter) From somewhere deep in the forest, erupt.
(Hudalaleigh) Be heard in the land.
(HM King Adler II) Be startled by the voice, which is familiar and yet not familiar.
(Adoyret Sam) Be startled by the voice, which is familiar and yet not familiar.

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Before I could be too crestfallen at the Adoyret's low assessment of me, my thoughts were interrupted by a gale of laughter and a loud "HUDALALEIGH!" from somewhere deep in the forest.

"Did you hear that?" I asked, as the last drawn-out cackle reverberated among the tree trunks. "It sounded eerie .. strange .. and yet somehow familiar.."

"Saint Reynard's traditional call it is," Sam murmured suspiciously.