The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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SpoilerBehold it with pictures https://www.patreon.com/posts/26343951
Complete archive https://adleryoung.tumblr.com

>Adler: "Ixies, I demand that you cease your spying on me! ... Please, you're embarrassing me..."
>Ixies: "No can do. We're not just spies, but your bodyguards too. It's for your own safety. Anyway, I'll put down five more that he'll set himself on fire again."
>Ixies: Start taking a shine to Ethel over her razzing the one with the long name. Typantronn's kind of a huge jerk, no one likes her.

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"Hey Ixies!" I yelled, and a group of them peeked over the top of one of the menhirs. "You're making the lady uncomfortable! Go away and give us some privacy."

"Can't do that, Sire," they replied. "Spying is our duty as well as our pastime. We are bound by an oath to oversee and protect thee, which supersedes any of thy commands. Plus we also want to see thy legendary Wiles in action."

"Such insolence!" I fumed as they giggled and whispered amongst themselves.

"We like this femme, Sire," one of them sent via Elfmind. "She hath Moxie. Anyone who taketh the piss out of Typantronn is okay in our book."

>Tell her it's okay, knowing that people watch makes things more exciting.

"I can't get rid of them," I sighed, turning to Ethel. "But think of it this way: Having an audience makes things more exciting."

"Uhh.." Ethel started to protest.

"Just go srpinkle some more powder in that hole," I suggested.

What follows is an adorably awkward montage of Ethel and Adler tentatively bonding over a mutual love of destruction.
>Ethel: There's no way around it, this elf is a dimwitted, smelly hobo with no people skills or any other skills, but, darn it, all that keeps getting overshadowed by the fact that he can start fires with his mind. There might, just might,be some potential here.
>Adler: Ethel is treating you in a way that isn't just her usual barely tolerant, patronizing disdain, you're walking on cloud nine! You also only set yourself on fire three more times.

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And so we whiled away the afternoon blowing things up and setting things alight. The way her eyes sparkled at each blast .. the way she giggled with delight when I ignited handfuls of powder which she tossed into the air .. with each combustion she became more relaxed, more warm, more adorable. I didn't know who was using Wiles on whom, and I didn't care. I wanted this moment to last forever.

Typantronn: As you are flying off and harumpfing, you notice after some time flying over the tree line in a clearing near percythrope a small camp of armed lowfolk, you listen in on their conversation.
Typantronn: This is too easy something is wrong here, you look to check and make sure your not being punked, your not these guys are really just that stupid, in fact when you report back to Adler, you think you should tell him to make to the education standards in this land.

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As Ethel was beating out a wayward blaze on my sleeve, an Ixie buzzed up and saluted me.

"Yes?" I prompted after an awkward pause. "I trust you are interrupting for a reason."

"Typantronn Smuchpepper Santocup reporting, Sire," the Ixie gasped. "Thou art not going to believe this. I did not believe it myself, but I flew on to Percysthorpe and beheld it with my own eyes."

"Go on."

"The town is surrounded by a hostile forest which was not there yesterday."

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SpoilerWhat else did Typantronn discover? I can still use some details from El Santo's previous command .. but few commands means shorter episodes ..