The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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SpoilerSee it with pictures https://www.patreon.com/posts/23878965
The complete archive which will take weeks to read https://adleryoung.tumblr.com

>Ethel: Oh right, you forgot that the "elf" is a slow-witted nincompoop. Very patiently (but not that patiently) describe the printing press, the steady approach of mass literacy, and the concept of industry.
>Ethel: You've read the book, and you have to say, elves, if they exist, really aren't all that impressive. Their society is kind of backwards, if you really think about it. Sure they've got magic, but that's cheating.
>Well look like lowfolks have advanced a wee bit

"Oho," I cackled, pretending not to be surprised by this new information. "So that's where the Scriptorium is, is it? Sure an' but how's our lad going to PAY for foive copies, an' how soon is it they'll be finished?"

"They aren't super expensive," Ethel shrugged. "Jerry will spend out of his secret 'Shoe Fund' if he thinks it will further his ambition. And they'll have a lot more than five copies on hand. It's their mainstay, a fairly popular book which basically put the publisher in business, so yeah, they make sure they've got plenty to sell."

"Faith an' begorrah," I exclaimed. "Sure an' have the lowfolk mastered the art o' magickally duplicatin' manuscripts then?"

This was serious! If the lowfolk knew even the most basic of magicks, it could spell trouble for elfkind!

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"Great Auk," Ethel sighed. "I'm starting to think you might really be an elf. Nobody else could be this obtuse, and keep up the act so consistently. Look, there's no such thing as magic."

"How is it oi'm talkin' to ye out o' the thin air then?" I asked indignantly.

"No such thing," Ethel insisted. "Magic may work for you, but it doesn't work for us. So we don't laze around eating ambrosia and throwing pies and counting on some mystical force to take care of us. No, see, what we do is we apply our ingenuity to a problem, and solve it by good honest work. There's a machine that was invented way back in the old days, more than fifty years ago. You may have heard of it? The printing press?"

"Do go on .." I prompted.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? I swear, you elves are the most backward people I ever heard of. You still use the feudal system, and what do you do all day? NOTHING! Just flit around catching butterflies and singing elf-songs and playing baglutes. When's the last time you did anything new or made any progress? We make things! We innovate! We specialize! One person makes ink, and another person makes paper, and the printer sets blocks of type and uses the press to duplicate them as many times as needed. Division of labor increases production AND gives everyone more liesure time, and as a consequence more people are literate. Do you even know how to read?"

"Of course I do," I retorted, slightly offended.

"Your accent slipped," she scoffed. "But seriously, what are you doing right now?"

"Oi'm usin' a faresome powerful scryin' spell -" I began.

"MAGIC!" Ethel shouted. "LAZY! Cutting corners all the time! Never do anything with your own hands! You're too dainty to do any real work! That's why elves are LAME!"

>Adler: Normally you'd be outraged hearing such things from a lowfolk, but hearing it from Ethel feels more like a lady turning down a bouquet you've offered. Vow to prove to her that you are indeed an elf and to show her the wonders of elf society, what little remains anyway.

"We are not," I pouted. "We've got great art and buildings and culture! If only you could see it, you'd understand. Faerie was great back when you guys were still living in caves."

"Prove it," she snapped. "Right now, all you are is a floating voice in my head."

>Adler: Going back to her outburst about voices
Adler: The bureau looks very suspicious ask what is inside
Ethel: "What?! There is nothing in the bureau, I mean what bureau?
>Okay, Ethel, lass, would you like to talk about those voices that tell you to burn things a bit ? Happens often do they ?

"About that," I said. "Sure an' what is it ye were sayin' about voices an' settin foires when oi arrived?"

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"Nothing!" Ethel declared, as she backed up against the bureau.

"An' what moight be in that bureau that yer so protective of?"

"What bureau?? There's no bureau here!"

"Sure an' there is, roight behind ye," I pointed out.

"Crap, you can SEE me?" she blurted nervously. "How long have you been spying on me? Huh, elf? How long? Yeah yeah, I concede, you're an elf all right. Who else would magically spy on a helpless femme?"

"Sure an' oi haven't spied on you at all, at all!" I protested. "This is the farst toime oi've even seen the place."

>Ethel: reassure the smelly moron that at least the two days of traveling will give Adler time to come up with a more long-term solution.

"Whatever, elf. I've got you figured out. Look, you want food and you want somebody to ogle because you've been trapped alone in Albric Tor ever since the battle. I've read the Chanson! I know the score! I can give you what you want, but you've gotta get rid of Jerry. I mean PERMANENTLY! You have two days till he gets back, to come up with a plan. Now get outta my room and quit peeping in on me."

it just shows that underneath her surly, rude demeanor beats the heart of a vulnerable soul with a burden to bear. HOW POETIC! Your butterflies increase by magnitudes and your heart yearns all the more.

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I quickly WHOOSHed back to my scry-space and reeled away in a daze from the tree-shaped hole. By Fuma, what a fascinating & captivating creature that lowfolk femme was! Her sass! Her temper! Her figure! Her sheer brazen chutzpah! Add all of that to the tragic secret burden she bore, the mystery of the pyromaniac voices ... and it added up to a delicious, fiesty yet vulnerable package of delirious desire!

Oh Ethel, somehow I would make you mine!!

>You really need to do something to better yourself while you're isolated. You lost a lot of time already. Maybe meditate and strengthen your magic ? Yuu're doing better on Pooking and Transmogryphication haven't tried Grammayre or talking to the trees in a while
>Oh and start planing on accumulating shugar. Lots of shuggar. You can't count on the Ixies loyalty for free, for sure, but you might eventualy outbid other employers.

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A second later I woke from the trance ... BLAST IT! Ethel's bewitching Wiles got the better of me again! I mentally reviewed the conversation and was relieved to note that I had not made any regrettable promises. I was going to have to be careful dealing with her. Was there any way to protect myself from her seductive influence? I thought my training with Sheila Na Gig had prepared me for anything, but this was an order of magnitude beyond what I had thought was possible.

Two days .. I needed to practice my magick and sharpen all of my skills before our next meeting. She would not gain the advantage so easily again! I also needed to use the Voice of the Forest to consult with local trees and get some intel about the area which might help me come up with a way to remove Jerry from the picture. I could also perhaps use my Ixies as scouts.

Hmm .. I wasn't sure I could trust the Ixies. They claimed to honor bonds of kinship between us, since I was their sire (or possibly grandsire by now, depending on how long I spent moping in the tower after the battle..) but I knew they really worked for the highest bidder. What was the currency in which they were paid? Was it sugar? I knew they liked sugar. it might be a good idea for me to get some.