RE: Application review and appreciation topic + Lore Q&A
08-02-2018, 01:47 AM
Yeah when I read it it was a good concept then, and a good concept now. It's a shame we don't have a clockwork section up yet. The writing is A+ and is totally on point, no changes there so the rejection was only lore based and while there are notes out there I wouldn't say they're the most perfect notes to be using so feel free to ask me any questions you need, def on the concepts of clockworks.
I have lot of info stored up about clockworks, just not enough time to put it out publicly.
To go through a list of what lore fixes this one needs.
- K-class and other classes of clockworks are no longer a thing. All of them just have name now. (So dryad alone is just fine.) It used to be a shout out to SCPs but the whole thing doesn't make too much sense now as every single clockwork would be considered K-class by those rankings.
- "only known case of" should be removed. I always personally remove things like "The only" and "The biggest" and other statements that imply the hard and fast lore to avoid lore tangles as well as allow other people to make likewise concepts.
- A small note mentioning that the reason no one has burned down this planet yet being because of the research would get rid of any questions as to why people are ok with what could become a rather aggressive liability.
- Most clockworks, even big ones like dryads are mindless monsters. It doesn't have to be explained why they are intelligent as it can happen just very rarely, a simple "An absolute oddity, the dryads on this planet all are intelligent enough to hold stable warfare."
That's be all. All of those points likely would require no more than 1 to 2 sentences. Everything else is stable and good, and like I said the concept and lore is really spot on.
Feel free to ask me anything you may need. Also you're free to resubmit even though planets are closed.
I have lot of info stored up about clockworks, just not enough time to put it out publicly.
To go through a list of what lore fixes this one needs.
- K-class and other classes of clockworks are no longer a thing. All of them just have name now. (So dryad alone is just fine.) It used to be a shout out to SCPs but the whole thing doesn't make too much sense now as every single clockwork would be considered K-class by those rankings.
- "only known case of" should be removed. I always personally remove things like "The only" and "The biggest" and other statements that imply the hard and fast lore to avoid lore tangles as well as allow other people to make likewise concepts.
- A small note mentioning that the reason no one has burned down this planet yet being because of the research would get rid of any questions as to why people are ok with what could become a rather aggressive liability.
- Most clockworks, even big ones like dryads are mindless monsters. It doesn't have to be explained why they are intelligent as it can happen just very rarely, a simple "An absolute oddity, the dryads on this planet all are intelligent enough to hold stable warfare."
That's be all. All of those points likely would require no more than 1 to 2 sentences. Everything else is stable and good, and like I said the concept and lore is really spot on.
Feel free to ask me anything you may need. Also you're free to resubmit even though planets are closed.