SP_NT_R_

>Wield your keyboard, which is mechanical and therefore has excellent heft. Prepare lame mechanical-keyboard-themed battle puns.

It sure does, but this thing is also rather expensive and unwieldy as far as improvised weapons go. Were your RAGE meter higher you would totally disregard this and other non-trivial factors such as your lack of the appropriate SKILLS to WIELD it effectively. You're most proficient at knives and kitchen implements, having fought valiantly against vermin (and nosy customers/teen vandals - same difference?) on multiple occasions. Work can be a hassle sometimes since you tend to get late shifts. Also gloves, powered or otherwise.

Besides, you might damage it and you really really really really don't want to have to plug in your backup keys.

>Wield a belt yourself; "two can play at this game effer"

You've seen and experienced his skills with the leather strap. Your belts tend to be less effective as a weapon but attempting a come-uppance would probably just make It angry. Even when under the influence, the accuracy and reach is phenomenal. Makes you wonder exactly what he got up to a few decades ago in North Ireland...

You've got at least one scar that can testify to Angry Drunkdad being a Very Bad Thing.