The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

>Someone: Recall that rabbits eat shrubs. Shove the Lowfolk maiden towards the Shrub Knights.

"Shrubs!" someone muttered amongst the troops. "Are we supposed to be scared? Bah! Let's just send all of the herbivores in there to nibble them to submission! Where's that strange long-tailed rabbitess I saw earlier?"

"Those look like holly bushes to me," another soldier bleated. "Not good for munching, at all."

awaken the fire in your troops.
Badger > Laugh at the wee shrubs and take a squad in to chop em up
Shrub Knights can be defeated just by tipping over their pots. Tip them over and walk on through!

"FIE, YE DAINTY WEE PANSIES," MacBrock bellowed as he barged ahead through the ranks. "I'VE A MIGHTY AXE WI' WHICH TAE HEW THEIR BRITTLE BOUGHS CLEAN THROUGH! OR WE'LL SET 'EM AFLAME! OR, BY THE LADY, JUST TIP THEIR POTS OVER! MACBROCK TREMBLES BEFORE NO SHROOB! WHO'S WI' ME?"

Before I could stop them, a score of stalwart fighters followed MacBrock in a charge, pell-mell into the midst of the Shrub Knights.

Shrubs, be devastatingly powerful. Brutally repulse all attacks with casual ease.

"Fuma! I can't look!" I wailed as I cringed from the sounds of carnage. Hacking and chopping and screams of mortal agony filled the air.

"Arragh, tis a fine old elfly way to go," Estvan sighed wistfully, with a hand over his heart. "Sure and I've not seen elves fall so, by their own folly, since the Long Ago. Twill make a lovely new crop o' monuments in the Hall of Ancestors."

>Army: Shrub Knights?! You didn't sign up for this, contemplate surrender.
Squad > be utterly rekt by the shrub knights, only the badger makes it out alive.

"FLY!" MacBrock shrieked as he dragged himself painfully from the field of battle. "THEY'VE O'ERMATCHED US AND THE DAY IS LOST! FLY, I SAY! FLEE FOR YER VERY LIVES!"

"STAND!" I yelled decisively before my army could panic. "You see the results of rashness and failing to await orders! Someone fetch that badger out of there and carry him to the herbalist's wagon. What? We have no herbalist? Find Brother Matthew and ask him then! Now someone bring me a stick and a white handkerchief for a flag of truce. I would parley with the commander of these shrubs!"

>Adler: Parlay with the shrubbery.
Shrubbery: be commanded by that samurai shrub that's very loyal to Adler and hesitate to attack the enemy and be torn on wether to join the rebellion or squash it

"PARLEY!" I declared, when the flag was in my hand. "My weapons are put well away, and I would speak with your commander in complete peace!"

The Shrub Knights rustled as I strode forward. I passed unscathed among them to where their superior officer stood, in the back.



"Agent Bonsai?" I asked as I squatted down to address him.

"This lowly one is known as Sergeant-Major Bonsai now, thanks in large part to the meritorious decoration bestowed by Your Highness," the tiny tree replied. "Sincerest apologies about your men, but we must defend ourselves when attacked."

"What are you doing out here?"

"This one's squad was placed here and commanded to defend the approach to the Capital. Please forgive one's boldness in confessing that it is uncertain in which direction the true path of honor lies. The air is rife with various reports. It is said that the Crown has been corrupted by Vulpitania and the supposedly nonexistent Sisterhood. Yet it is also said that you yourself are in league with said Sisterhood, and the Duchess of Daisies."