The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

>Duchess: Have witnessed Adler unintentionally burning bridges with his previous stunt. "Yes. All according to plan." *super villain-esque evil smile

"What a show!" Duchess Catherine chuckled from the shade of the Diplomatic Outpost porch. "I reckon this changes things a bit, don't it?"

You didn't anger them, they encured your wrath and it's about time you taught the world the difference.

"Three different factions tried to conquer me, and they failed!" I exclaimed. "Now they scatter in disarray to await my wrath! You'd best keep that in mind, Your Grace, if you would parley with me!"

>Lem Junior: Be impressed. Alder has it in him after all!

"Here," Lem Junior said as he suddenly walked up to me and bashfully handed me Irenaeus' helmet. "I reckon you got the balls to wear this after all. Both figuratively and literally. Sorry I made fun of you earlier."

"Apology accepted, young elf," I replied, taking the helmet. "Let that be a lesson to you, not to be so quick to judge others."

>Someone in the ragtag army: Be aghast that a kid is there, berate Lemmy & Salmonella for being irresponsible parents.

"BY FUMA'S EVER-FRAGRANT RUMP!!" MacBrock bellowed. "What's a wee bairn, a mere elflet, doing here amidst these bawdy and lecherous troops?"

"You is one of the lecheriest your own self," Salmonella scoffed. "Wasn't you carryin' the boy on your shoulders just an hour ago?"

"You're an irresponsible parent!" MacBrock bellowed. "If ye were the lad's father, why, I'd sock ye a good one."

"I ain't a baby," Lem Junior grumbled. "I'll be old enough to ravish femmes purty soon, and didn't nothin' happen here that I don't already know about."

"We're raisin him proper," Salmonella insisted. "When he comes of age we'll send him to Antglade Station for the Duchess's right of the first night, and then he'll marry up with a nice possum gal."

>Well Adler, it looks like the only allies you have left are the Duchess, Burnside, and your questionable army. Best of luck.
>Adler: How about that codpiece now, and some leather straps across your chest like true Ireneian scion you are?
> Adler: The only ally you haven't alienated is the Duchess. Time to bite the bullet and get her to help you.
ask the duchess, are there still elves that can build automata outside of vulpitia.
> (..And maybe if someone can forge some discreet back and butt armor)
>Maybe you could try majyking your own tail to make it cut proof..

I left them bickering and trudged up onto the porch.

"Why Adler honey, you ain't decent," the Duchess exclaimed breathily. "I might just come down with a case of the Vapors."

"I'm sure," I retorted. "Might you have any idea why Irenaeus' helm fits me now, after it didn't before?"

"I reckon you musta proved you was elf enough to wear it," she replied with a grin.

"He sure is," Burnside enthusiastically agreed. "The elfliest elf you ever did see!"

"You want the rest of Irenaeus' battle regalia?" Catherine asked. "I think I got a codpiece with leather breeks and braces in the chest here. Course the britches don't have a tail hole in 'em."

"No thanks," I said, removing the helmet and handing it to her. "I think I prefer my silk jacket .. if I can find it. The helmet is hot and heavy, it smells funny, and it crushes my ears. Though your mention of tail holes reminds me that I should protect my posterior from potential Scuti attack. I don't suppose .."

"Adler honey, nobody has ever made butt armor," the Duchess chuckled while shaking her head.

Perhaps I could formulate some Gramarye for that.

"Are there any more automata which the Scuti might be able to use?" I asked.

"Well there's Jack, but he's malfunctionin'. And besides, they'd have to get clear into the Antglade to fetch him. Seems mighty unlikely."

"Hmm. Well I need to find some clothes .." I started.

"What for?" Burnside interjected.

"And then maybe we can discuss strategy," I finished.

Show Content

Spoiler

Excerpted from the Chanson du Percy le Gobelet.

>Thomson: Try to reattach horn. Be only partially successful. Report back
Percy > after a jolly good conversation with mr gator and documenting his wonderful songs (you think so), you move on to explore. you find a naked ms. thomson trying to put her horn back on with little success, she looks very weak. you help her with some parchment glue as a temp horn fix.

Hark! Percy heard a maiden sobbing somewhere deeper in the forest. How could this fair land contain so much sorrow and strife, he wondered to himself. Wrapped in such musings, he left the Melancholy Bard's cave and went in search of this new adventure.

"Oh brave sir," the beauteous maiden cried upon seeing him. "My beautiful horn is cleft in twain, and I am injured from assault by a dastardly villain, from whom I fled precipitately, leaving all behind, including my raiment. I am disfigured, and compelled to clothe myself in leaves, after the manner of the most primitive of our kind. Oh weal, oh woe."



"Fret not, fair damsel," quoth Percy, nobly leaping to the maiden's aid. "Though I am but a lowly scribe by trade, I have a pot of bookbinder's glue upon my person, which should most admirably mend thy horn."

"Oh clever sir, it is truly a stroke of divine luck that you happened by."

lend her a hand and carry her northeast back to the capital via fey gates. (percy vibrates with excitement!)
Seconding Percy being the one who carried Thomson away (and her horn being all wonky).

After mending her horn with glue and a piece of gay ribbon, brave Percy helped the maiden to her hooves.

"Lean upon me," he said most nobly. "I shall carry you where you wish to go."

"I am bound for the capital of Elf-Land," the maiden explained. "It is far, and not for the eyes of mortals to behold."

"I shall close my eyes," Percy promised, with many valiant vibrations. "Only let me aid thee, most beauteous lady, and I shall be content. Otherwise how shall you make the journey in your present state?"

"Seriously, I shall be fine," the maiden reassured him. "But I must make all haste back to the capital, to report to my superiors -"

let the sisterhood and the scuttis be mad at each others, that'll get them out of your fur for a while

Before the maiden could finish talking, LO! A bright and sparkling lady-bug flew toward them, and spoke thusly:

"Belay thy journey to Albric Tor; thou art not to abandon thy post! Wouldst leave the Prince with no Sisterhood agents to watch over him?"

"She hath a point," the maiden sighed as the insect flitted away. "But the Prince waxeth powerful. I must first take steps to assure my own safety."



"What manner of sorcery do you wreak there?" Percy asked.

"A poppet I make, from a tuft of Adler's fur and a dab of his Masculine Essence. With this, I can influence his will and make him compliant with my designs."

"Adler, say you?" Percy gasped. "I am well familiar with this dastardly white skunk-elf and his impolite deeds."