The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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>If it helps, You did promess your father on his death bed to look after your brother.

Gawain ordered Adler to look after Estmere, but Adler never actually promised that he would do so.

>Adler, you have an army.
>Army: Be completely unhelpful
>Three Vanguards: Behave pretty much exactly like The Three Stooges.
Adler > Tell them to stand down, you and they are not starting a coup nor overthrowing your brother.
>Merry Men: Become decidedly less merry the more Adler tries to avoid rushing to take the royal castle right now this very instant.
Army vanguard, praise Adler as a saviour. Then proceed to describe what they intend to do once they get to battle.
Adler, have no idea what to do with your new army. Try disbanding them without much success.
Misunderstand any and all of Adler's words as further encouragement.
adler yelling angrily (also maybe drunk), pointing in a aggressive manner in a direction
telling the army to go home and to stop this nonsense.

"What are you elves doing here?" I yelled irritably at the assembled vanguard.

"ARRAGH," the badger bellowed as he dodged away from the rat's wildly flailing sword. "TIS A NEWER KINDER EMPIRE WE'LL BE MAKIN' AYE, WHERE HAGGIS'LL BE RIGHTLY CHERISHED."

"We'll split the false usurper from spleen to gizzard!" the rat yelled as he flung his sword haphazardly into the bushes. "With a true son of Irenaeus leading us, we'll sow mayhem and victory!"

"Quite," the archer replied stoically.

"You can't stay here!" I shouted belligerently.

"AYE, TIS MARCHIN ON TAE ALBRIC TOR WE BE!" the badger replied, brandishing his axe.

"I can't feed you!" I insisted.

"We'll plunder as we go," the rat enthused as he tugged his sword out of a privet bush. "It'l be grand! Just like the old days of the glorious Lacktail! Three cheers for King Adler! Hip hip!"

"There's plenty of ham to go around, yall," the Duchess called from behind the Station.

"HOORAY!" all three of the vanguard shouted in unison.

"How do you expect to take Albric Tor with only three fighters?" I demanded.

"Reinforcements are on the way," the archer pointed out. "Faerie demands a real King. All thinking elves will rally round the true heir, and none shall rest ere the imposter is unseated from the throne. Listen! More arrive even as we speak."

Adler > see more emerge from the brushes behind them, one of them says "you have my ax" then someone else says "my hoe is at your disposal" shaking their garden implement in the air. more come out! "me claymore will cleave the false king in twain!", "fire ant cavalry ready to run through your enemies!" and more and more come
Baglute music, be heard in the distance. Be approaching.

Several other freedom fighters, arrive. Include a thief, a pirate, a bard, an old crown, a priest and a shinobi (exiled from a realm in the far east)
>What if your father and your uncle could see you now...

We all stood quietly for a moment, and I could hear baglutes playing in the woods, not far away. An owl brandishing a forester's axe came stumbling out of the undergrowth. "Hoo, my axe is at your service, Your Majesty," he hooted enthusiastically. He was followed by a quartet of green-garbed elves brandishing gardening implements and muttering meaningfully about a "grim harvest."

"Great Fuma," I groaned as more elves began to wander into the clearing from all directions. "It seems I am now in command of a ragtag army. I wish Uncle Roland was here; he'd know what to do. My father deliberately kept me from learning any skills that would be useful here. I never learned Statecraft! I don't know how to wield a sword! I can't even ride an ant, for the Lady's sake! I'm going to need more usquebaugh."

I glanced beseechingly at my Ixie, but she just shrugged. "Thou art descended from Irenaeus. Time to live up to they heritage."

Burnside, do a very bad thing. Surprisingly not to the bunny maiden.
(Burnside) Start flirting with HSH Prince Adler in a truly disturbing way, after you come back.
(Burnside) Evidently be inspired by what you just saw re the bunneh maiden.

Before I could address my troops again, Burnside suddenly lunged out of the doorway and grabbed me around the waist.

"I just learned an amazing trick," she giggled huskily.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Let me show it to you," the raccoon suggested, with a frightening grin. "It'll surely make an impression on your army. Boost their morale the way Irenaeus used to."

Odd sounds, be heard emanating from the Scutis' wagon.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Burnside insisted as she grabbed my arm and started climbing on me. "You might even like it, too."

"Hark," the Ixie thought at me with Elfmind. "Dost thou hear that? Have those Scuti three dared to show themselves? Are they indeed here? Pardon, Sire, but I have business with them."

Duchesse's men, deliver more usquebaugh for the troops.
>Duchess' Nephews: Show up at the worst possible moment and make a bad situation horrible.
Struggle up the steps with a delivery box.

I was in the midst of trying to pry Burnside off me and explain that no means no, while my ever-growing crowd of followers shouted bawdy encouragement, when suddenly the Boy Dukes clomped up onto the porch, carrying a locked wooden chest between them.

"Fslrmghuh glugl," Bodb muttered as he looked at me.

"Howdy yall!" Matholwch shouted cheerfully to all of the gathered elves. "Aunt Mama Your Grace, we brung it like you said, and there's a boatload of ham 'n usquebaugh out back, so you folks just go on and help yourselves."

A hearty cheer went up, and most of my army stampeded around the Station, towards a heavily laden john-boat which had been pulled up among the reeds.

"That's lowfolk ham," I protested weakly, but nobody paid any attention.

Duchess, show Adler the most maniacal laughter that you can achieve.

"BWAH HA HA HA HAAA!" Duchess Catherine cackled in the most Unseelie manner I had ever seen. "Bodb, Matholwch, for once in your miserable lives, you boys done real good. Adler honey, this is it. The beginnin' of the end. Let's just open this here box, and I've got somethin' real special to show you that's gonna win you this here war."