RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
06-12-2017, 04:02 AM
Quote:(Scuti Trio) Gloat. Also ask why Prince Adler doesn't have any mustard for the ham.
>Adler: They're not here on a social call, they want something from you. Considering how meddling in Sisterhood affairs has brought you nothing but misery be unwilling to help.
Adler > Recognize the rat as the one you meet in prison. is that the scuti you liberated from the lab?
Alice & mara > laugh seeing adler in a maiden regalia. ask adler if he misses being Relda
Adler > Tell them thats lowfolk ham!
Scuti rat > Delicious! This must be prime cut noble ham. Rich, Fat, Juicy!
Adler > Wonder what Queen Edessa is pregnant with...
"I am not interested in any of your shadowy dealings," I sulked. "It was the Sisterhood that got me into my present predicament."
"Somehow I don't think the Sisterhood is responsible for you being dressed like a sacrificial maiden," Alice scoffed. "Perhaps there is something you'd like to confess?"
"You looked much cuter as Relda Fauxfox," Mara quipped around a mouthful of ham.
"Huh?" Fifi asked from the doorway.
"By Fuma, there's two of them," Alice observed as she took another bite of her sandwich.
"You do realize you're eating lowfolk ham, right?" I sneered. "You've got a lot of nerve, barging in here uninvited and abusing my hospitality."
"But you are honor bound to offer hospitality to travelers," Mara pointed out.
"You call this hospitality?" the rat piped up. "There isn't even any mustard!"
"Aren't you that rat I met in prison?" I asked. "And are you wearing the Scuti I took from the SALVs' laboratory?"
"My host and I made a little deal with the Marshal," the rat sneered.
"I just know I'm going to regret asking this," I sighed. "But how did the Queen get pregnant so quickly?"
"It's been several weeks since you left," Alice explained. "Temporal slippage with all the Gates you used to get here."
"Okay, I'll abbreviate my question to: How did she get pregnant?"
"A certain gem and a certain Scuti got together with a certain royal ungulate, who got together with a certain skunk for an evening of certain venery," the rat grinned.
I stared at him for several seconds as I intently willed myself not to visualize the scene he was hinting at. "And what is she pregnant with, exactly?" I finally managed to say.
"Nobody knows for certain yet," Alice explained. "It would be best if the child is not a skunk, though even in that case it should not matter, since Estmere is not an elf and has no right to the throne. His heir has no claim."
Quote:Adler, remove your maiden disguise.
Alice, commend Fifi on her choice of motivational decorations. Fifi, giggle a lot.
"Nope, not talking about that any more," I grumbled, shaking my head. "I am going on the back porch to change clothes. No peeking!"
"Nice decor," Alice said as she admired the Vulpitanian posters. "I assume you chose these? They are very period-appropriate."
"Oh yeah, like, fer sure," Fifi giggled. "Isn't Young Monocled Patriot just the best?"
"He certainly is," Alice nodded. "Oh hey," she added, as Gertrude lugged Jack into the Station and laid him on the floor. "Is that a Scuti Activated Locomobile Vehicle? May I take a look?"
Quote:Alice, take a look at Jack. Discover that his "name" module is incorrectly inserted and only registers the word "George". Also, that his volume slider is stuck on high.
Jack, be equipped with a backup magic capacitor in order to be able to function in the low world for a while.
"Hmm," Alice mused as she inspected Jack. "This is a very old model, built by Redbough back before the Antglade rebellion. It has had a lot of unauthorized work done to it .. I think it may have originally been meant to be female. Its Identify Friend slot has a homemade wooden card shoved in it, with 'George' written along the edge. Who's George? And its volume control has been set to maximum. I can fix that for you, if you'd like. Uh-oh, its Discombobulator array is damaged. You'll need to find a replacement. Hello, what's this? A magick capacitor for brief excursions into lowfolk territory! Now that's a handy thing to have!"
Quote:Gertrude, realize with some shock that Adler is not actually a woman.
"I'm very concerned that the Duchess of Daisies has such a machine, and possibly others like it, in her possession," I declared as I stepped back into the room.
"Fuma's Whiskers!" Gertrude exclaimed. "You're a male!! How could one as elfly and handsome as yourself pass so convincingly as a maiden? You must truly be a master of disguise!"
"Ummm, okay," I said hesitantly. "Thanks for that compliment, I guess. But as I was saying, I'm concerned."
Quote:(HSH Prince Adler) Recall your grandfather's law on automatona.
>Unknown Rodent avec Scuti: Once Jack is up and running, suggest that your Scuti take him out for a test drive.
>Burnside: Suggest some Unseelie things to do to the Unknown Rodent once his Scuti is away. Just because.
>The mouse: Have some information that can be accessed once your scuti is unplugged. Be used as a bargaining chip.
"Lifelike automata were outlawed throughout the Empire by my grandfather, Adler the Prudent," I explained.
"This would have been built long before that edict was passed," Alice pointed out. "Plus there are numerous loopholes, if the automaton can be made to be easily distinguishable from a real elf. One can build it without a tail, for example, or give it the form of an imaginary creature like a jackalope."
"I've always wanted to drive one of those things," the rat murmured dreamily. "Maybe its memory core contains information I could retrieve. Once we get it operational, let me pilot it, and I think my host may have something of value to tell you."
"Oooh, can I tease it out of him slowly with a knife and a fistful of straight pins?" Burnside squealed excitedly.
Quote:(Burnside) Be put in a small metal carrying box. With a very stout lock.
Adler, try questioning Burnside about her behaviour. Also find interesting that she knew about Jack's discombobulator array.
Burnside, have uncontrollable blood rages whenever she smells blood, or just feels like it. Also, be a remorseless psychopath.
"I'm concerned not only about the automaton," I scolded, "but also by your appalling behavior, Attache Burnside! How could you be so vicious? Surely you don't carry on like that at home?"
"Whenever I was bad, my lowfolk pappy locked me in a box," Burnside growled sullenly. "As you can see, it didn't do much to improve my attitude. I wouldn't suggest you try it. Confined spaces make me go completely berserk."
"You mean, you weren't berserk in the woods earlier?"
"Nope. I was having fun."
"How did you know Jack had a Discombobulator?" I asked, after taking a moment to digest her previous statement.
"I've seen him around Antglade Station a few times, and I knew what he was."
Quote:(Bunneh Maiden) Start asking about sleeping arrangements.
(Argument) Over sleeping arrangements. Break out, noisily.
Adler > tell the scuti that you hope they are not planning to stay as there is hardly any beds here except the hammock.
"HEY! What kind of demons art thou?" the lowfolk maiden suddenly yelled. "These are not the exquisite torments of the Netherhells! Art thou going to stand around talking for all eternity? I should have been violated repeatedly by now! Breaker of Winds! Where is thy bed? Take me thither and do thy savage duty upon me!"
"Hey, back off, buckteeth!" Fifi snapped. "I like totally had dibs on him before you ever even knew he existed!"
"Bah! Be not so greedy! Thou hast lain in his unholy embrace since time began, Frost-Biter!"
"I haven't! Like not even once! No way I'm letting you get it before I do!"
"I am his Imperial Court-Appointed Floozy," Thomson interjected. "Both of you must defer to me."
"Tough luck for all of you," Burnside snarled as she bit into the maiden's leg. "But I'm the Prince's Diplomatic Attache, and it is my duty to stay closest to him at all times."
"I just need to keep the maiden intact for the Duchess's collection team," Gertrude insisted. "Careful, there. Don't make me have to hurt you."
"What are you doing?" Alice asked as Mara raised her fists and slowly approached the scuffle. "You don't have any stake in this."
"My host body has experienced the Prince's magick touch," Mara explained through clenched teeth. "Even though I know better .. the craving is .. nigh irresistible .. just to be close to him for a while .. with no distractions .. couldn't hurt .."
Quote:>Adler:You are in NO mood for this. Pull the hatchet out of the skull and use its screaming to shoo them outdoors.
(Argument) Be stopped by Adler removing the Axe.
This was too much foolishness for me to tolerate. I lunged across the desk and yanked the hatchet out of the previous Border Agent's skull. Immediately the air was rent by a loud, piercing, unearthly scream.
"TAKE IT OUTSIDE, LADIES," I yelled. "Settle the sleeping arrangements however you like, but the hammock is MINE, and mine alone!"
The femmes all rushed out the back door, and I replaced the hatchet. The night was suddenly still - unsettlingly still.
I peeked out the doorway to see why everyone had gotten so quiet.
Quote:(C. O'D) Make a very surprise nocturnal visit. To what end?
(C. O'D) Resolve the sleeping arrangements.
Duchess Catherine O'Daisies sashayed up the porch steps, with a large clay jug slung over her shoulder. Gertrude bowed her head reverently. Burnside did a ladylike little curtsey and muttered "Your Grace." The other femmes huddled nervously against the railing at the far edges of the porch.
"Adler, honey," the Duchess sighed musically, "I just heard the news from Albric Tor, and I figured I'd better stop on by. I brung a jug of Usquebaugh to help us think, cuz you 'n me's got a lotta plannin' to do. Oh, and in case y'all was wonderin' .. what y'all was tusslin' about a minute ago? Seein' as Adler's a diplomatic representative, he's gotta be extra neighborly to the Antglade, meanin' the one he snuggles up with at night has gotta be either me, or my duly appointed proxy, lil' ol' Miss Burnside. Take your pick, Adler honey."
The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: https://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.