The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

>Percy: "Unseelie, Sisterhoods, AND heinous collaborations? Say, this is some good info, I wish I could take notes."

Before Ms. Thomson could answer me, Percy used the momentary pause to interject: "This is all most fascinating. Since I am tied up at the moment, could I perhaps trouble one of you to pull my spare notebook out of my pocket and write a few things down for me?"

Thomson and I both turned to glare at him.

"No, I .. er .. can see that's an unreasonable request," the bird stammered. "Never mind, then. I'll just .. uh .. forget everything I have seen and heard tonight."

I was wondering exactly what he had warded himself against, and how I could ensure his forgetting, when suddenly there was a shriek and a bellow ..

>Burnside is ten times more dangerous when you can't see her. Like a shark in the water.
Burnside, be circling around, looking for another attack vector. Prove that your middle name of "Sideways Ingrid" is not just completely without meaning.

Burnside leaped from the shadow of one of the standing stones with alarming quickness, and plunged her barbecue fork into Jack's back. Gertrude snatched the raccoon out of the air with a massive paw (alas, a split second too late) and caught the slumping jackalope with her other arm.

"OW, GEORGE," Jack rumbled feebly just before going limp.

>Seriously consider if Burnside can really be the same cute raccoon girl you saw years ago. She seems downright Unseelie!

"Burnside!" I yelled, outraged. "How could you be so Unseelie?"



"How could you not be?" Burnside cackled. "That was totally worth it! I got him right in the Discombobulator Array!"

"I will destroy you," Gertrude snarled as she began to squeeze Burnside's head.

Adler > Take a look at jack, figure out what he runs on.
Adler, take a look under Jack's clothes. Find a slot leading to a device labeled "logic" that seems to have a number of modules attached
lower down, he has a long tubular compartment ... frighteningly similar to the slot Alice's body has where her tail should be.

"Wait a second, wait a second!" I yelled as I strode toward them, with Thomson close behind me. "Burnside is a diplomatic representative of the Gladsome Antglade, so please don't squish her. If Jack has a Discombobulator Array, then I might be able to fix him. I've had some experience with these things. If I may?"

Gertrude handed Burnside off to Ms. Thomson, and helped me remove Jack's coat & shirt. We rolled him face-down and I examined his fork wound. Sure enough, there was a panel which opened, and behind it was a Discombobulator next to a rack of numbered slots, about half of which had brass cards inserted into them.

"Blast," I muttered. "I was hoping the Discombobulator had merely been unseated, but she actually damaged it, so it will have to be replaced. If, as you say, the Duchess built him, then she should have spare parts."

Adler > The duchess can make these constructs? with enough of what ever they are running on, she could make a army of them.
Adler > Ask Gertrude the process of the sacrifice, do they have to be delivered.... dead? (shows the dagger)

Acting on a hunch, I reached down and tugged on Jack's tail. It came off easily, and I could see what looked suspiciously like a Scuti pilot port where the tail had been.

"He was designed as a vehicle for a Scuti," I explained. "I don't understand why he would be walking around pilotless, with this artificial tail instead."

"I never knew it was removable," Gertrude murmured.

"Well, I'm going to have to meet with the Duchess and discuss all of this," I mused. "The implications are quite disturbing. How many of these constructs does she have?"

"This is the only one I know about," Gertrude replied. "But please, I just want him fixed. I don't think I could bear losing him."

"You might as well come with me, then."

"Not without the sacrificial maiden," Gertrude insisted. "The Duchess's people will be expecting it. I bring them lowfolk in exchange for maintenance on Jack; that's the deal."

"Do the maidens have to be .. dead when you deliver them?" I asked with some trepidation.

"Fuma's sakes, no. I don't think I could kill them in cold blood. There's a special joke dagger which they gave to this tribe long ago. It should be lying around here somewhere. Anybody watching would think the maiden was killed, but the blade collapses and all it does is stun them."

"Delivered unconscious then?" I muttered thoughtfully.

"The meat stays fresh longer that way," Burnside explained cheerfully.

"By the Lady!" I spat. "I don't like this at all. We must leave the maiden here."

"I'm not facing the Duchess without that maiden," Gertrude insisted stubbornly.

"Guys, she's like, coming to," Fifi called from where she was kneeling over the bunny maiden.

"Frost-Biter," the maiden murmured dreamily. "Thou and thy demon kin have defiled me. My soul belongeth henceforth to the Breaker of Ill Winds. Take me with thee and steep me evermore in sweet, sweet sin.."

"I think this is a bad idea," I groaned. "But okay, blinfold her and take her with us."

"What about me?" Percy asked hopefully.

"Shut up."

We left the bird tied to the stake, and trudged our way back to the Border Station.



"There you are," Alice Chetsweeks said as soon as I entered the building. "We heard that you had been exiled here, and we thought we'd drop in for a visit. The door wasn't locked, so we came in and helped ourselves to some of that delicious Antglade ham."

"Nice place," Mara mumbled in between bites. "Lovely decor."

"You may be interested to know, Your Highness," Alice continued. "SALVs Nidab and Semos have finished their work and returned to Vulpitania in triumph. Queen Edessa is pregnant."