The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

>Adler: You know what, why the heck not? Let Burnside go on a mini-rampage just to get it out of her system. Cover your eyes though.

"Okay, fine," I sighed reluctantly. "Go ahead and indulge yourself, but just -"

She dashed toward the jackalope before I could finish what I was saying.

>Thomson: Give Burnside a grade and some feedback on her blood curdling performance.

"I have to admit, I like the Antglade attache's style," Ms. Thomson stated as I tried not to look in the direction of the bloodcurdling snarls and clattering cutlery. "She has excellent tastes in lethal hardware, and lots of Persockity Vitality. I think she and I will get along quite well during your tenure at the border post."

Gertrude > Quickly pick up your companion construct away from burnside's hungry malice

"Hey!" Gertrude yelled irritably over the noises of Burnside's fury as she held the raccoon up at arm's length. "Hey you! Sisterhood agents! Is this thing yours? I don't appreciate it attacking my helpmate when we haven't even done anything to you."

"Release me and suffer the consequences!" Burnside snarled.

"Don't you mean 'or?'" Gertrude asked. "Release me or suffer the consequences?"

"Elves do not lie," Burnside growled sullenly.

"Start telling me something," Gertrude called to me, "or I will crush this disagreeable creature."

"DON'T HURT THE LITTLE THING, GEORGE," her antlered companion boomed. "IT'S GOT SUCH A CUTE FACE AND A FLUFFY LIL' TAIL."

"Crushing in three .. two .." the bear announced grimly.

Adler > demand a explanation. what are they doing with the maidens?
Percy > even tho you are in dire peril, you make a mental note of everything said and seen, this will be a great addition to your studies...if you survive!
>Sisterhood has dealings with the Unseelie? What the flipping heck!?

"Explain your presence here!" I yelled back. "Why are you taking sacrificial lowfolk maidens? And why do you think we are with the Sisterhood?"

"You used an Orgasmic Touch on that maiden. There's an Albric Tor Floozy standing right next to you, and a Lengra-Cha Floozy skulking back there in the shadows behind you. If you're not a Sisterhood special task force, then you've certainly done a good job imitating one! I should ask you what YOU'RE doing here, interfering with our operation. This is way out of your normal jurisdiction."

"I'm asking the questions," I barked. "I've got the maiden. Why are you taking lowfolk, what are you doing with them, and how long has this been going on?"

"As I understand it, this particular exchange has been going on for centuries," Gertrude shrugged. "I've only been involved for a few years. My job is to pick up the maidens and deliver them to Antglade collection teams at certain drop points along the border."

"Why?"

"Surely you know. Antgladers are prohibited by Imperial Law from leaving their territory without special authorization."

"But what do they want the maidens for?"

"You'd have to ask them," Gertrude shrugged. "I could make a few guesses, but honestly I'd prefer not to know."

"They must be paying you handsomely to secure your co-operation in this Unseelie scheme," I declared with disgust.



"Oh they are," Gertrude sighed. "The Duchess of Daisies made Jack for me. He's based on my ideas of the perfect male. He's not very smart, I admit, but he makes up for it in loyalty and affection - and by Fuma's Musk, isn't he just the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen?"

"I WILL HUG YOU AND SQUEEZE YOU AND CALL YOU GEORGE," the jackalope bellowed as he snuggled up next to his partner.

"Each time I deliver a maiden, the Duchess replenishes Jack's life force," Gertrude explained. "So you see, I need that sacrificial bunny!"

"Um .. where is Burnside?" I whispered nervously to Thomson via Elfmind.