The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

Show Content

SpoilerShort update, and late too .. because of Easter and the nigh impossibility of getting anything done last week.

>Ms. Thomson: Add that hatchet to the collection.
Undead Former Border Agent > Moan
>Put the axe back in place, plan to use the skull as a burglar alarm later on.

Ms. Thomson replaced the hatchet, and the skull stopped screaming.

"That could be useful," I suggested.

"Yes, but how can I get that hatchet without deafening everyone?" Thomson replied, distractedly.

Fifi, obey Adler and take down the poster with the Marshal.
Explain to Adler what the Patriot means to you.

"Okay, like, I took down that one poster like you said," SALV Fofox declared from the other side of the room. "But you should totally know that the Young Monocled Patriot is like, the unofficial mascot of Vulpitania, or something, and you like, shouldn't diss him and stuff. Every kit wants to be just like the Patriot when they grow up, and every old fox still wishes they could be like him."

"I will only insult your culture when it insults mine," I promised.

>Adler: Show all of these culinary inept fools how a TRUE MASTER goes about whipping up some stew.
Adler > time to fish & forage
>Send the assistants to gather root tubers, leafy greens, and a carp. You're going to make a fierce gumbo!
Fifi, be revealed to know a (small) bit about gnostermongers and their philosophy.

"But right now," I continued, "I need ingredients for stew! Let's go out and gather some potatoes, turnips, plantain, watercress, and mustard! I could also use some tree nuts, and some fish."

"You have a perfectly good ham right here," the small raccoon femme pointed out.

"I .. don't think I can eat that," I whispered.

"I definitely can't eat that," Thomson added. "We should give it a proper burial along with the remains of the previous Border Agent."

"Looks okay to me," Fifi opined. "Smells great. And besides, since like, all is ham anyway, you'll totally be eating this whether you eat any of it or not."

"What does that mean?" I asked suspiciously.

"Dunno," the vixen shrugged. "It's just some Gnoster stuff from back home in Lengra-Cha. But, so, like, I don't know what any of that stuff you said looks like, so I'll just stay here and tidy up while the rest of you guys forage."

"I suppose I could look for edible greens," Thomson offered. "But I must stay close by Prince Adler."

"Oh yeah, I gotta like, do that too," Fifi agreed enthusiastically.

"It is my duty to accompany the Agent as well," the raccoon femme explained.

"Fine," I sighed. "You can forage around me while I catch some fish. Um, is there a pole around here somewhere?"

"Reckon Karen's got one in the boat, sugar," Duchess Catherine called from the porch.



"Go not into the water, Sire," a small voice insisted in my Elfmind. "Step not into Karen's boat. The edge of the swamp is the true border of the Duchess's domain, and once thou enterest, thou wilt be under her power as long as she hath her regalia."

"On second thought, it might be best to forage for plants first," I decided.

>Use your magick to turn water into mint juleps to keep the Duchess happy.

I stepped out into the front yard of the Listening Post and surveyed the ground. There was nothing but grass and rank weeds (which might have been edible for Thomson, but not for the rest of us) and a small patch of wild mint.

"Hmmm," I mused out loud. "I don't think ham with mint sauce would be very good."

"You could use it to make juleps," the raccoon femme suggested.

>Raccoon: Natasha Jane or Fuzzy Mae.
>The Raccoon's name is quite long and filled with titles the likes of which you have never heard of: Mala-Dala-Flim-Flam-Zipper-Zapper-Zork-Jam-A-Lam-A-Dam-A-Bamma-Marcho-Muddy-Rivers DCCLXXXV. Or just Rivers, for short.
The raccoon gal is meadow mark 2, Nice! Her name is probably a lowfolk farmer name like nigella, poppy or Belladonna
Raccoon, have a very long and unusual name that one would never expect to find in a person's name. Raccoon's initials, also spell a word that would be considered unusual for a name, but are what most people call her by because it's easier to say than her full one.
Belladonna Ophelia Busigbrust

"BURNSIDE!" Duchess Catherine yelled from the other side of the building. "Did you say juleps?"

"Yes'm, I did," the raccoon called back. "There's a nice patch of mint out front here."

"Your name is Burnside?" I asked, over the clamor of the Duchess as she ordered Karen to fetch up a jug of Usquebaugh.

"My full name is Beladonna Uma Rivers Natasha Sideways Ingrid Dharma Excelsior," the raccoon explained wearily. "But my initials spell out Burnside, so that's what most people call me."

"Well, Burnside, it looks like we're going to have to travel farther afield to find anything edible." I picked a handful of mint and walked back through the building to address the Duchess. "Your Grace, the stew is going to be delayed while I search for ingredients."

"Fix me a mint julep," she said, handing me a stoneware jug, "and I'll just set right here and be just as good as I can be til y'all get back. I recommend goin' to the lowfolk world to get your vittles. Save you a lot of time. There's usually somethin' good waitin' right close to the Gates on their side. And our elf magick works better over there too. Any Gate round here will do; just enter it widdershins, and come back through the exact same way."

I pulled my Elfin Bow out of my Elfintory and led a small party consisting of Ms. Thomson, SALV Fofox, and Attache Burnside on a short trudge through the scrubby woods back to the Gate.



We passed through the Gate and emerged in a circle of stones. In the center of the circle was a tall wooden post with a blond-haired bunny tied to it. More bunnies were standing apprehensively just outside the stone circle.