You are Dlorph.

promise mars bars in the future if CND eats its regular food for now. Dogs have no sense of future so if it believes you you've got no obligation to fill the promise

>Tell CND that if they promise to eat their completely normal dog food you will return with Mars confectionery products.

Slyly you make an empassioned argument that you'll provide huge great heapings of Mars Confectionary when you get home if only Completely Normal Dog promises to eat their completely normal dog food now. Unfortunately Completely Normal Dog doesn't understand the concept of the future and so they find your entire proposition baffling and unfavourable.

destroy the puzzle scroll before it warps the whole adventure world into a puzzle dungeon

You tear the mysterious note to pieces with reckless abandon and breathe a sigh of relief. Puzzles are confusing and awful and god do they just go on forever and ever. You're certainly glad you don't have to deal with any of that.



Unrelatedly you have discovered the Special version of your scraph cosplay. You remember all the effort you went into making it do the special effects but in the end you concluded its a bit much for actual usage.

> Find the diabolical ????

You recall the conditions required to unlock the Special Sanji Cosplay; that you must beat an unknown enemy whilst wearing the regular Sanji Cosplay. You wonder just who that unknown enemy could be...

The one thing you are certain of is that it is not anyone you have encountered since reclaiming the Cosplay. You're pretty sure your Cosplay menu will update with the name of your foe when it becomes available.

Do your tried and true solution: ignore your problems and play video games.

Videogames never solve anything but they sure as hell distract you from your problems. You head over to your Gamexus X99 and turn it on.



You play Mark and Stark Souls for a while but fail to make any real progress. Eventually you remember you were supposed to be headed to work. You're gonna be real late now.

>Go outside, a position from where you might be able to see Mars, if you're lucky

It's still morning, far too early to be stargazing, it's warm and sunny and birds are chirping, yet you can't help but feel uncomfortable. Somehow you just know that something is very wrong with the world today.

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