The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

estmere: you said no more vixens and she's bringing the two SALVS on the stand, your patience with the prosecussion is starting to thin

"What did I just say about no more vixens?" Estmere growled warningly.

"Beg pardon, Your Honor. Please let me be clear: SALV Nidab only, I call to appear."

Rotnev Nidab extricated himself from the gallery and sauntered calmly to the witness stand.

it may help Adler's case if some of his buttons are undone as well.
>Ms. Thomson: Have a small but significant pile of weapons at hand.
>Adler: Bury your face in your hands and refuse to come out.

"Oh stop moping," Ms. Thomson scolded me as she paused in sorting a small pile of melee weapons which she had pulled from her elfintory and spread across the table. "We've got this case practically wrapped up. The SALV was unconscious during your alleged intrusion and cannot testify to anything that happened. They have no evidence. If you want to be proactive, however, you should try sitting up straight and not looking so desperately guilty. Unbutton some of your jacket buttons and see if you can distract the Prosecutor into doing an even worse job than she's already doing."

I shook my head and groaned behind my hands.

Rotnev > Admit that the food they where served was divine, you did not know adler had someone put special herbs & spices in it.
you do not think it was drugged at all. The dancing was the factor for tiring you both out
you cant explain why your hands where in the bowl of water and assume it was a prank by adler
you both assume adler broke the stone tablet and tampered with the equipment in the act of vandalism

"You are SALV Rotnev Nidab?" Miss Thompson asked.

"I am, yes, that's right," Rotnev replied.

"Relate to the court just what happened last night," Thompson prompted.

"My partner and I had successfully reached a crucial point in our experiments," the SALV began.

"And what does that mean?" Thompson interrupted. "Can you give us some hints?"

"I'm sorry, but the nature of our work is confidential. I cannot discuss the details in open court. We were - and are - carrying out our commission as given to us by the High King and his Ministers. As I said, we had made a significant breakthrough, after which we decided to take a break for dinner. We enjoyed a delicious meal delivered from the palace kitchens, after which we celebrated by dancing, or as we call it in Vulpitania, cutting a rug."

"Did you suspect that the dinner was laced with a drug?"

"Not at all. The hour was late and we were giddy with excitement. After dancing ourselves to exhaustion, Nexivydah and I collapsed on the floor and fell asleep."

"There's a big, shocking fact that I now must reveal: Prince Adler had somebody mess with your meal."

>Defense: even if (IF) those SALVs were druged inthe first place, there's no proof Addler was reqpoànsible
> So far the prosecution has prooved nothing,nada, zielch.

"OBJECTION!" Ms. Thomson blurted. "We have not yet seen any evidence that my client tampered with the SALVs' dinner. Does the Prosecutor have any proof to back up this wild accusation?"

"Avogadro can prove it without hesitation," Thompson replied. "He was conned by the Prince, for his fiendish devices, to sprinkle their food with mysterious spices."

"Until we hear actual evidence to that effect from Sergeant Avogadro himself, counsel for the Prosecution is merely indulging in baseless conjecture."

"Uhhh, sustained, I guess," Estmere mumbled. "Stick to what the witness actually knows."

"Understood, Your Honor, " Thompson acknowledged. "Okay then. Here goes ..."

Fifi, come visit Adler. Try your best to floozy him up.
Fofox, take your interaction with Adler as a sign that he's madly interested in you.

While this exchange was going on, Fifi Fofox leaned over the gallery rail behind me and hissed to get my attention.

"PSST, Prince defendant guy," she whispered. "You're cute. You like, totally remind me of somebody I know from Lengra-Cha, but I can't think of who it is. You wanna get together after the trial?"

"Ummm," I responded, uncertainly. "I'm not sure I will be free -"

"Sweet," she grinned. "I'll see you then. Here's my number."

She handed me a card with a large "8" written on it, and leaned back into the gallery.

Meanwhile Rotnev was continuing his testimony: "As I said, the meal was delicious and, to me, seemed all right."

"Tell us what else you recall from last night," Thompson urged.

"Nothing. Nexy and I slept soundly until we were awakened by the City Watch barging in. We had our hands in a bowl of water - heh heh - a classic Vulpitanian prank."

"For that, whom do you think you can thank?"

"OBJECTION," Ms. Thomson exclaimed. "Speculation. AGAIN."

"Whatever, just get on with it," Estmere grumped, with an impatient wave of his scepter.

"I'm not sure who it could have been," Rotnev admitted. "Apparently Prince Adler had been in our rooms while we were asleep, but would he be that familiar with Vulpitanian traditions? Maybe ... after all, he is an excellent Frontgammon player."

"Was anything missing, that you are aware?"

"Of the material pertaining to our commissioned work, much of it has been mixed up and put into disarray, but nothing important or necessary is missing, so far."

"What of the Scuti you kept in a jar?"

"What now?" Rotnev asked, seemingly taken aback for a moment. "Oh, that thing. Just a, um .. call it a curiosity, I suppose. Its loss does our experiment absolutely no harm."

"The Prince was caught leaving with it under his arm," Thompson pointed out.

While Addler may have been caught with a few dubious objects comming out of the SALV office, none of is determinant by itself.
Thomson, have a trump card hidden up your proverbial sleeve

"OBJECTION," Ms. Thomson interrupted. "Where is any of this going? The witness was unconscious and did not see what my client did or did not do in his quarters. He has testified that no actual harm was done to his experiments, so .. I am somewhat confused as to what exactly is the case against Prince Adler."

Judge Estmere > Agree that adler can do culinary magic with a few herbs and spices. The acts of vandalism really concerns you and you really want to know why he did this.

"Dude, so am I," Estmere admitted glumly. "Like, I know he's awesome with herbs and spices, so the delicious meal totally makes sense. But like, what was my Bro doing sneaking around in the SALVs' apartment while they were asleep? Why mess up their lab? Why take the Scuti? Oh, hey, wait a sec .. the Scuti would have seen what happened, right? They're supposed to be, like, intelligent, right? Why not hook it up to a hot Floozy volunteer and let it testify? Why not? Come on!"

"Unfortunately all of the Scutis have gone," Miss Thompson informed him. "Alice and Mara and Ratso skipped town, but luckily the Marshal had this written down."

With a triumphant flourish, the Prosecutor snatched a scroll from the table and handed it to Estmere.

"What is this?" the King Judge asked.

"They questioned the Scuti, ere he took to his heels. His testimony's there; just break open the seals."



Estmere cracked the seals on the scroll and unrolled it.

"Huh," he said, after staring at the scroll for a few long seconds. "I haven't read this one yet. It's like, pretty cool that Jinx and Puckworthy transmogrify her into a doe in this episode, but now I'm even more confused than ever. What does Jane, the Lowfolk Femme have to do with this case? It's vixens, man. More vixens! They're all over this thing ..."

"Wait a second, Husband," Queen Edessa murmured worriedly. "Let me see that. I don't think it is the right scroll."

Estmere, get really frustrated

"Nope," Estmere declared irritably as he rolled up the scroll. "Screw it. I've had enough of this nonsense. I can't make heads nor tails of what's going on, so I'm declaring Trial By Floozy."

A resounding cheer went up from the gallery as the Prosecuting and Defense Floozies both approached the bench.

>Ms Thomson: Finger another jacket button. Be prepared to unbutton same.
Thompson, unbeknownst to Thomson, also have a trump card hidden up your proverbial sleeve.

"So, how does this work?" Estmere asked, after the applause died down.

"Floozy versus Floozy in single competition, Your Honor," Minister Lynne explained reluctantly. "Fuma will grant victory to the one whose cause is more just. You may choose the nature of the contest."

"Sweet!" Estmere exclaimed. "So, ladies, any preferences to suggest?"

"Pole dancing, Your Honor, would surely be best," Thompson said with a smile.

"Errr ... mud wrestling," Thomson countered nervously, fingering the buttons on her jacket.