RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
03-13-2017, 01:59 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-13-2017, 03:24 AM by tegerioreo.)
Quote:>Avogadro: EGADS!! The object of your affections stands before you. Immediately attempt to woo her with a beautiful, heartfelt sonnet
Suddenly Avogadro leaped to his feet and intoned as if in a trance:
"Th- They haunt my dreams: Your luscious lips,
Your swaying tail, your rockin' hips ..."
"ORDER!" Estmere declared sternly. "There's no quoting the Sartorian Verses in court. That's a rule, right? Isn't it?"
Quote:SALV Fofox > See avogadro and be like totally humored, if not tickled pink by the display of affection.
Fofox, have an instant crush on Adler. Be determined to become his personal floozie, if possible. Keep droning on about various topics that you find interesting (and think Adler should also find interesting), but only succeed in boring everyone.
"Oh that's okay, Your Honorableness," Fofox giggled. "I get that kind of thing all the time. It's actually kinda sweet. Thanks but, like, sorry, mole guy. You're totally not my type. You should maybe shoot for somebody a little more pudgy?"
"Indeed," Ms. Thomson muttered loudly over Avogadro's wail of despair. "Tell the court a bit more about yourself. Your name is Esmerelda, is it not?"
"Oh yeah, like, fer sure."
"Do people often call you Relda?"
"Oh, no way. I usually go by my middle name, Fifi. Fifi Fofox. Sorta rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? But anyway, like, I enjoy long moonlit walks on the beach, romantic melodramas, and cuddling in front of the fireplace. I got a B-level in Wiles, which is totally not bad. I am from Lengra-Cha but I don't like, live there, DUH. And my dream guy dresses in a green satin suit, has white fur and long elfin locks, and has a look of consternation on his adorable face."
Quote:SALV Chesswick > While shaking you fist at Fofox, Tell her to stay away from your snow white prince.
"You schtay avay from der Prince!" a voice called from the Gallery. "I haff already called dibs on him, hussy!"
"ORDER," Estmere growled. "I am totally not kidding around, people."
"Ahem. SALV Fofox," Ms. Thomson continued. "Are you sure you have never met Prince Adler before today?"
"Nope. I wish I had, but nope."
"I'd like to point out to the court that elves do not lie. Since my client and this Lengra-Cha vixen have never met, he could not possibly have conspired with her. Thank you, SALV Fofox, that is all."
Quote:Avogadro, keep drooling over Fofox (and fuming over Adler), until she walks back and you get a good look at her backside. Realize immediately that it's not the same backside you saw previously.
SALV Chesswick, also realize that Fofox is not Fauxfox.
"M'kay," Fifi chirped as she exited the witness box, then turned to delicately close the gate behind her.
"WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S NOT HER!" Avogadro exclaimed angrily. "WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL HERE?"
"I vas beginnink to zuspect as much, myzelf!" someone yelled from the gallery.
"ORDER!!" Estmere bellowed. "ORDER, you jerks! The only people allowed to interrupt are the Floozies. I don't want to hear another emotional outburst from anyone, and I absolutely, totally, emphatically DO NOT want to see another vixen on this witness stand! Do I make myself clear? I swear, I am like THIS CLOSE to throwing out this whole freakin' case."
Quote:(Ms. Thomson) Twirl a blackjack stylishly.
"Cheer up, Your Highness. Things are going exceptionally well," Thomson whispered to me as she sat down and began twirling a strange leather doodad around one of her hooves.
Quote:Next witness, be called.
(Miss Thompson) On cross-examination, confront SALV Fofox with an expert witness.
"I beg you, Your Honor, have pity on me," Miss Thompson wheedled, as she struck a dramatic pose in front of the bench. "This case will work out, just wait and you'll see. Justice requires it! I beg and beseech! To cut this trial short 'twere a serious breach! Prince Adler is guilty, I'd bet my left hoof, but it will take time to bring out the proof. For now you are tired of vixens and moles, but later I'll poke the Defence full of holes. To do that, I'll need Fifi Fofox to stay, so let her remain; don't send her away. For the moment, this matter I'm setting aside, but it's not just for this that Prince Adler is tried! For his other misdeeds you need not take my word, but the visiting SALVs' - it's high time they were heard."
The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: https://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.