The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

"Forgive this reminder of what we Elves do," Miss Thompson said gently to the obviously nervous Sergeant. "But especially here you must speak what is true. Relate to the court what you heard at the time that you spent with Prince Adler on the day of the crime."

>Avogadro: BUt but but the belongings...
(Sgt. Avogadro) Be thoroughly confused on the stand. Keep bringing up pie-fighting Valkyries.
(Judge-King-Emperor) Rule that vixens are boring.
(Audience member) Leave in a snit.

"Well, uh," Avogadro stammered. "Alice Chetsweeks told us all about the Vulpitanian plot -"

"And the stuff that she told you all adds up to what?" Miss Thompson interrupted.

"I, er, can't repeat it in open court, for security reasons," Avogadro evaded. "Rest assured that it was quite dastardly. However, I can't be sure how much of it was true, because SALV Chetsweeks is a Scuti."

"Relate what you can, in accord with your duty," Miss Thompson urged.

"Well, after hearing - and apparently believing - the Scuti's wild tale, Prince Adler stated that he needed to do two things: Infiltrate the Vulpitanian Embassy in order to steal a spare part needed for the repair of Miss Chetsweeks' automatonic body, and also sabotage the thaumaturgist's lab, to prevent them from carrying out their task."

"And what did you do then, may I ask?"

"Well, what the Prince was proposing seemed .. if not outright treasonous, then at the very least it would provoke a diplomatic incident. I could not be involved! I had to leave."

"Did the Prince have accomplices, do you believe?"

"Objection," Ms. Thomson muttered. "The witness' conjecture is not evidence."

"Huh?" Estmere mumbled, raising his head from the bar where he had been slouching lower and lower during the questioning. "What? Am I supposed to say something now?"

Queen Edessa leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"I can do that?" he asked, in a loud stage whisper, looking over at Minister Lynne, who soberly nodded her head. Estmere sat up straight and waved his scepter majestically as he declared: "Overruled. I want to hear this."

"Well," Avogadro continued nervously. "Earlier in the day I walked into the Prince's office to find the Vulpitanian Ambassador, SALV Chesswick, swooning in his arms. And then later, when I was in the Marshal's office telling him about all of this, a beautiful white vixen walked past, on her way out of the building. She was a radiant white-furred vision of loveliness, a veritable Pie-Fight Valkyrie from the far frozen North. The way she walked -"

"SUSTAINED," Estmere blurted. "Or whatever I say to get you to stuff it, dude. Vixens are totally boring."

There was an indignant exclamation and some scuffling in the gallery.

"ORDER!" Estmere bellowed. "No gekkering in court. Don't make me have you ejected."

"Your Honor, you've heard what this mole has to tell," Miss Thompson addressed the bench. "I'd like to present you these items as well. They point to a fact that is not at all pleasant: A suspicious white vixen may in fact have been present. Taken together these things tell a story. They were found in Prince Adler's own Elfintory."

She handed up the manacle/monocle, the padlock medal, the Embassy pass for a "Lengra-Cha Floozy", and one of the Vulpitanian wanted posters describing SALV Fauxfox.

"You'll note that the items all match the description of the vixen who may have caused last night's conniption."

"This does look kinda suspicious, dude," Estmere muttered to me as he looked over the evidence. After handing it back to Miss Thompson, he turned to Ms. Thomson and asked, "Do you want to cross-examine this witness?"

>Ms. Thomson: Quietly make sure you have your emergency courtroom brass knuckles ready, just in case the proceedings go down that road.
>Adler: Gradually become very nervous
>Legal arguments: Have your weight ultimately decided by the quality of bounce and jiggle.
Ms Thomson > Make sure Estmere is listening by using revealing poses
Adler > Wonder if any of these things happening in front of you is even proper court room decorum.
Wolf Queen > Eat popcorn

"No questions at this time, Your Majesty," Thomson stated coolly, as she perched on the edge of the Defense table and casually examined what looked like a set of brass knuckles.

"Sure an' this is a travesty!" someone in the gallery exclaimed. "Justice demands Trial By Floozy! Begorrah, that's what we came to see, and not this at all, at all!"

Estmere, become quite distracted by the floozies. Lose your track of the court proceedings completely and rely entirely on your wife and minister to be kept somewhat on track.

"ORDER!" Estmere yelled over the chorus of harumphs from the gallery. "What exactly is Trial By Floozy?" he asked Minister Lynne. "It sounds kinda interesting."

The Minister shook her head sternly and gestured toward the Prosecutor.

"Okay, okay," Estmere shrugged. "Go ahead and like, call your next witness then."

"Alberta Chesswick I call to the stand; the Vulpitanian Ambassador! Let's give her a hand!"



After the applause died down, Miss Thompson leaned close to SALV Chesswick and said: "Let this not be construed as an insult or slur, but what in the world have you done to your fur?"

"I had ein slight accident mit ein Saint Reynard's Day prank," the Ambassador explained. "Der guilty parties haff not been apprehended, but zey vill pay."

"I hope you'll forgive me but I must be nosy. You were seen with Prince Adler, getting quite cozy. Forgive me again; it's my duty to pry: What were you doing alone with that guy?"

"I vas not alone mit him," SALV Chesswick corrected. "Zere vas ein possum femme passed out on der floor, und zat mole Sergeant barged in right after der Prince put his vhammy on me."

"A whammy, you say? Well, a part of me squirms, but I must ask you: Describe it in general terms."

"It vas absolutely exqvisite," the Ambassador explained with a little shiver. "Der Prince hass der Magick Fingers. I vould like to remindt der court zat if he is found guilty of plottink against der Republic, zen he is liable to extradition to Vulpitania. But anyvay, his vhammy .. vhat can I say? To be underschtood, it really must be tried."

"So you came just to have that whammy applied?"

"Nein, I came initially to reqvisition der return of SALV Chetsweeks' automatonic body, vhich had gone AVOL."

"So far your account has been thorough and fair. Did you see Relda Fauxfox while you were there?"

"Nein, she emerged from der GHQ soon after I had left. I met her in der schtreet, und she had ein schkunky schmell about her, indicating recent intimate contact mit der Prince."

"ORDER!" Estmere shouted as Avogadro erupted into a spluttering fit of coughing and flailing his arms. After Miss Thompson sashayed back to the Prosecution table and sat down, he turned to Ms. Thomson and said, "Your witness then, I guess."

SALV sweetcheecks was in there earlier this morning. (in rather skimpy clothing, you might add). Could she have forgot them ?

"Could you have left the items presented as evidence in Prince Adler's office when you were there?" Ms. Thomson asked, without getting up from her seat.

"Not der poster," SALV Chesswick answered. "Zey had not been made yet."

"But the other items you could have planted on him? You were close enough to have put them in his Elfintory, were you not?"

"Ja, I vas, but -"

"No further questions."

"Dude, that's a pretty weak defense," Estmere complained. "That's my bro you're defending. You think maybe you could take your job a little more seriously? Anyway I think it's like, your turn to call a witness or something. Isn't it?" He looked to Minister Lynne for some sort of confirmation.



Ms. Thompson paused for a moment, as Secretary O'Doe scurried into the courtroom and whispered something in her ear.

Surprise (and also surprised) witness, be called.
Testimony, have a shocking effect.

"Your Majesty, I may have questions for these witnesses later, but first I would like to call a Surprise Witness who may be able to shed a wholly new light on the testimony we have heard thus far. I call SALV Esmerelda F. Fofox to the stand!"

A white-furred vixen stood up in the back of the room and walked, amid gasps and whispers, up the aisle to take her seat in the witness box.

>Addler: You have never met this SALV FauxFox not have you conspired with her

"You are SALV Fofox from Lengra-Cha?" Ms. Thomson asked.

"Oh yeah, like, fer sure," the vixen replied.

"Have you ever met or conspired with Prince Adler Young?"

"I dunno, like, who's that?"

"He's sitting right over there," Thomson explained, pointing at me.

"Oh, like no way. I've never seen him before. He's totes cute though, fer sure. HIIII!" Fofox bubbled happily, waving her hand at me.