The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

>Unfortunately, before anyone can use the keys, she drops them
Curse so loudly that it may be heard on the other side
blurt out 'I could marry you!'
Doris, be sad and annoyed at the same time. Sobbing and yelling

Suddenly the key ring slipped out of Doris's hoof, and she let out an alarmingly loud curse.

"HEY!" the jailer called. "Watch your language! I'll not have such filthy talk in my jail!"

"Why am I such a klutz?" Doris sobbed, as she knelt and tried to reach the keys, which were perched precariously close to the edge of a drain in the floor. "I was this close to rescuing Cute Prince Adler and marrying him, but it's not gonna happen now!"

the brother of the king couldn't marry a floozy
aren't the keys not really helpful anyhow? He can leave via magic it's just a stupid idea right?
(Jailer) find the keys and be so pleased to laugh

"I don't think I could have married a Floozy in any case," I pointed out helpfully.

"I'd settle for a scandalous affair," Doris grunted as she strained toward the keys.

"Escape would be futile," I continued. "If I wanted to get out of here, I'd have used magick and already been gone long before now. But doing so would only incriminate me, and I'd be a fugitive."

"I'd fugit with you," the doe insisted. "Life on the run! Stolen moments of passion amidst constant danger from every side! It would be so romantic!"

"Oh hey, you found my keys," the jailer exclaimed with delight. Doris howled with dismay as the pig stooped and picked up the keys. "I would have been in some serious trouble if I'd lost these."

King, return from the bedchamber after a surprisingly short amount of time. Declare the trial to commence.
Be informed of the time and place of the trial. Worry.

"Well, Your Highness," the jailer continued, unlocking my cell door. "It seems the King has emerged from his bedchamber and has declared that your trial is to commence.

"When?" I asked.

"Immediately."

"But, but, I've had no time to prepare my defense."

"Too bad," the jailer shrugged. "The constables are already here to escort you to the Chamber of Severity."

"The Chamber of Severity?" I exclaimed nervously.

"Don't let it worry you," Ms. Thomson muttered blandly. "That has to be the venue, because the Chamber of Mercy is being re-painted this week."

A pair of constables came in and led me down the hall, down some stairs and through a series of twisting corridors in the Underworks. A few minutes later we emerged into the Chamber of Severity. Ms. Thomson and I took our places at the Defense table. Marshal Theronmyathus, Sergeant Avogadro, and the Prosecuting Floozy were already standing at the Prosecution table.

Thomson, know the prosecutor well. Worry
(Prosecuting Floozie) Be the deadly arch-rival of Ms. Thomson.

"Oh, for Fuma's sake," Thomson grumbled, as the other Floozy grimaced and stuck out her tongue at us. "It's my arch-rival from Legal Floozy Academy. I was my class valedictorian, and Miss Thompson was maledictorian. She has always borne a personal grudge against me for taking away the top spot. She knows my one weakness, and has trained rigorously to exploit it. If this trial requires any Pole-Dancing then we might actually be in some trouble."

"ALL RISE!" somebody bellowed from the front of the room. "HIS HONORABLE MAJESTY, JUDGE-EMPEROR ESTMERE GAWAINSSON PRESIDING!!"

There was a muted hubbub of rustling as the courtroom spectators all stood up and looked expectantly toward the judge's bench. I was momentarily confused to hear a series of muffled "GRONNK"s, but then Estmere stepped out of a doorway and stood there, surveying the crowd.

>Estmere will be the judge and will announce ,Alders Doom!, if found guilty
>Estmere wears his "Serious Business" fine raiment
(HM King Estmere) Wear black judicial robe, wig, and fuzzy ant-slippers that go "gronk" with each step.
(HM King Estmere) Call upon the Prosecuting Floozie.
(Prosecuting Floozie) Annoy Ms. Thomson with your Legal Rhymes.

He looked magnificent in his official Magistrate's Wig and Judicial Bathrobe, complete with GRONNKing ant slippers. He ascended the steps to the judge's bench and sat down, then casually waved his scepter and said, "Be, like, seated, dudes."

He consulted a sheet of paper for a few seconds, then looked at Miss Thompson. "Prosecuting Floozie, would you like, totally start these proceedings by reading the charges?"

The charges are as follows (1) Conspiring to destroy an heir to the king (2) Complicity in the explosion which a Lengra-Cha terrorist has committed and The death of Marshal Sweetcheeks (his body hasn't been dug out yet) (3) The suspicious disappearance or murder of Lengra-Cha SALV Fauxfox (Sergeant Avogadro added this)
caught red-handed stealing Vulpitanian state property.

"Okay," Miss Thompson chirped brightly. With quite a bit more bending and wiggling than was necessary, she extracted a scroll from her briefcase and unrolled it. Gasping and fluttering her eyelashes, she read in a sing-song voice:

"Prince Adler Young just might be Unseelie!
You think that's a gag but it's serious, really!
When you hear what he's charged with, you might throw a fit!
I'll list off his misdeeds as follows, to wit:
Conspiring to wipe out an heir of the King!
Why in the world would he do such a thing?
Conspiring with baddies on Saint Reynard's Day
To torch the Vulps' Embassy and then run away.
Poor Marshal Sweetcheeks was kicked in the head
And then was blown up (and for all we know, dead.)
To help him accomplish the tasks dark and grim,
Adler had an accomplice: A beautiful femme,
A Lengra-Cha vixen; but here's what's so chillin':
She's vanished completely! Where is she, you villain?
To top it all off (he don't do things by halves),
He stole from the lab of the visiting SALVs."

"Dude," Estmere exclaimed, looking at me after the charges had been read. "Some of that doggerel is a little vague, and I'm not sure exactly what it means, but seriously Bro? This sounds like some pretty heinous stuff. How do you plead?"

>Adler: Lay back and think of Faerie.
Addler could just say "I have not betrayed the empire, I have protected my brother from a Vulpitian plot to destabilize the throne as i swore my father I would on his deathbed and I didn't not participate in the muder of any SALV FAuxFox' and it should bea big factor in his favor because ELVES .DO .NOT .LIE.

"I'm screwed," I thought to Ms. Thomson. "Most of that, except for conspiring to blow up the Embassy, is halfway true."

"Don't say anything you don't absolutely have to," Thomson thought back. Then she declared, aloud: "My client pleads Not Entirely Guilty, Your Majesty."