The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

(Thomson) Ask to see Avogadro's warrant to search HSH's Elfintory.
(Marshal) Indicate that you [Marshal] have the warrant. Give same to the Floozie-at-Law.

"I presume you have a warrant authorizing a search of my client's personal space?" Ms. Thomson asked drily.

"I have three," Theronmyathus chuckled hoarsely. "Would you like to see them all?"

"One will suffice," the Floozy replied.

The Marshal produced the paper and slid it across the table.

"Very well," Ms. Thomson murmured after studying the immaculately-completed form. "This appears to be in order. If you will kindly bear the intrusion, Your Highness .."

>empty out your elfintory
Search Prince Adler. Make it very ticklish.
>Thompson: Suddenly find your seating position uncomfortable.

She set her briefcase on the floor, unbuttoned the front of my jacket, and reached into my Elfintory.

"TICKLES," I gasped, trying not to squirm.

just deny. No clever worldplay, no half truthes, just good honest denial when needed and statement of facts, silence the rest of the time.
(Elfintory) Yield up some very gross bits of dried mushroom and shower-stall leavings.
(HSH Prince Adler) Be on the verge of explaining the Elfintory.
(Floozie-at-Law) Silence Prince Adler emphatically, as only a Floozie-at-Law can do.
Avogadro & Theronmyathus > see the dried mushroom remains and shower clippings. comment that alder may have a hoarding problem.
>Legal Invasion of Privacy: yield evidence that's more embarrassing than anything else.

"Before these assembled witnesses I bring forth," Ms. Thomson formally declared. She pulled out a handful of old dried mushrooms and hoof clippings which must have been lying in there for years, ever since the Ferifax Arch explosion.

"What, did you reach all the way to the bottom on your first go?" I blurted. "That's just some old -"

"I would recommend that you not try to explain these items at this time, Your Highness," Ms. Thomson hissed warningly. "Your comments will be a matter of record."

"We're hardly interested in the Prince's pocket lint," Avogadro scoffed. "You might as well put that disgusting debris back where you found it."

"Now now, it might be evidence," Theronmyathus croaked. "Put it on the table and I'll make a note of it. What else do you find, Ms. Thomson?"

She reached in and pulled out a copy of Wise Professor Skunk's Basics of Vulpitanian Frontgammon.

"This belongs to the Royal Library of Persoc Tor," Theronmyathus rasped as he inspected the flyleaf. "What are you doing with it?"

"I wished to learn Frontgammon in order to be hospitable to the visiting Vulpitanian dignitaries," I explained. "The Queen loaned it to me. She goes to Persoc quite often to get books."

"I see," the Marshall croaked suspiciously while making a mark on a notepad. "Next."

> Take out the cutters, Ms.thompson explains its for gardening

Ms. Thomson drew out the set of clippers which I had taken from Mara Supial in the Hall of Ancestors.

"It appears to be a gardening implement," the Floozy explained before I could say anything.

"A perfect weapon to use against our Shrub Knights," the Marshal muttered ominously as he wrote on his pad.

Next Ms. Thomson pulled out my toy ant.

"That's Bucephalus," I blurted. "I've had him since I was an elflet."

"Same name as Irenaeus' ant, sir," Avogadro pointed out.

"Delusions of grandeur," Theronmyathus theorized as he jotted a note.

"Please try to refrain from commenting," Ms. Thomson whispered to me sternly.

Next the Floozy pulled out a green bandit hat which my fellow-travelers had jokingly put on my head as I slept during my coach ride to Athstead. I had completely forgotten that was in there! Theronmyathus inspected it and eyed me dubiously as he placed it on the table.

Avogadro & Theronmyathus > gasp as the tail is taken out, then remember its a false one.

"By the Lady!" the Marshal squawked as Thomson pulled out the false Irenaeus costume tail.

"I recognize that, sir," Avogadro explained. "His Highness gave it to me to wear in order to disguise myself as him when he sent me to the kitchen to contaminate the visiting SALVs' meals. And that's the fake dagger handle which an unknown assailant used to pretend-assassinate me while I was thus disguised," he added as Ms. Thomson pulled out the false dagger.

"Interesting," Theronmyathus remarked. "Next."

> take out the bow.

"A gift from my archery instructor," I explained as the Floozy brought out my elfin bow.

"Ah yes," Theronmyathus croaked, scribbling on his pad. "Our records indicate that you were instructed by Utica the Huntress, a known user of forbidden Wiles and currently a wanted fugitive, whereabouts unknown."

"Please refrain from speaking during this process, Your Highness," Ms. Thomson hissed at me through gritted teeth.

"Here's a strange item," the Marshal remarked as Thomson pulled out the tall striped hat I had worn as SALV Relda Fauxfox. "I believe these are commonly worn by revelers at Vulpitanian Saint Reynard's festivities."

Heeding my Floozy's warning glance, I said nothing.

> take out the hand hat. put it back as it cant be taken from adler unless the king removes him as hand of the king.

Next, she reached in and pulled out my King's Right Hand regalia - the hat and the wand of office.

"Hmm, well these cannot legally be taken from you," Theronmyathus muttered as he shook the hat, making sure nothing was concealed inside. "Leastwise, not by me. So I return them to you."

> before the vulpertain pass is taken out, ms thompson swipes the pass from adlers elfintory.
Evidence, be surprisingly incriminative.
Thomson, start using underhand (underhoof?) tactics.

"Not so fast, madam," the eagle snapped, grabbing Ms. Thomson's wrist as she attempted to exploit his momentary distraction with the Hand hat to stealthily slip a piece of paper from my Elfintory into her cleavage. "What's this you have here? A Vulpitanian Embassy pass, granting an 'Exotic Lengra-Cha Floozy' security clearance to the office of Marshal SALV Anton Sweetcheeks."

"I certainly hope the item your Ixie smuggled out was MORE incriminating than this," the ungulate thought at me scornfully with Elfmind. "Though I have trouble imagining how it could be."

"Is there any more to be found, Ms. Thomson?" the Marshal inquired icily.

(Elfintory) Yield up Fauxfox's medal and monocle.
Avogadro > see fauxfox's medal and monocle, become enraged, thinking adler has done something foul to her
> The Medal: be mistaken for real, even though it is an obvious fake.
Avogadro's questions, drift towards a certain white vixen.
Adler, try to respond as vaguely as possible.
Avogadro, be suspicious.
Marshal, collect all available information on the white vixen. Then become suspicious yourself.
>Avogadro make a fool of yourself.
Marshal Theronmyathus > ask if adler made a trip to the vulpitarian embassy? and did he have any part in the fireworks explosion?

The Floozy reached in and reluctantly pulled out the fake monocle and medal I had made.

"A Vulpitanian Escapist medal and a monocle shaped like a miniature handcuff," the Marshal observed, making notes on his pad.

"An Escapist medal?" Avogadro exclaimed suddenly. "A monocle? A tall striped hat? An exotic Lengra-Cha floozy? Sir, all of this matches the description of the mysterious and beautiful white-furred vixen who is suspected of setting off explosions at the Vulpitanian Embassy last night! I think I saw her leaving this very building not long before that incident occurred."



"What have you done to her, you villain?" the mole exclaimed, leaping up from his chair. "Why do you have her personal effects in your Elfintory? I promise you, if you've harmed so much as a single hair of her glorious snowy pelt, I'll see you suffer the most excruciating agony that Imperial Law will allow!"

"Sergeant, you are straying far off-script," Theronmyathus rasped. "Sit down and calm yourself. Your Highness, were you inside the Vulpitanian Embassy last night, and did you have anything to do with the attack that occurred there?"

"My client is not on trial and does not have to answer those questions now," Ms. Thomson tartly interjected before I could speak.

(Interrogation) Be interrupted by a very drunken cervine Floozie.
(Doris Saltstick) Be arrested for interfering.
saltlick interrupts causing everyone to look at her.

Suddenly Doris Saltstick burst into the interrogation room.

"THISH'Z A TRAVESHTY O JUSHTISH!" the doe shrieked, pointing angrily toward Ms. Thomson. "I'VE KNOWN TH' CUTE PRINCE 'N KNOWN HOW CUTE HE WAS A LOT LONGER'N YOU HAVE, YOU PARALEGAL SHTRUMPET! I SHOULD BE TH' ONE IN HIS LAP, CUDDLIN HIM AN' GIVIN HIM ADVICE AN FEELIN UP HIS ELFINTORY."

"Sergeant, remove that drunken Floozy and place her in detention," Theronmyathus squawked. "Guard! Why have you allowed this unauthorized interruption?"

"Sorry sir," someone I could not see replied from the corridor. "She took me by surprise and wriggled right past as quick as could be."

"I could have used this distraction beneficially if she had shown up just a few minutes earlier," Ms. Thomson thought ruefully in my Elfmind.

Marshal Theronmyathus > ask what was adler doing in the laboratory and why did he have a scuti in a jar with him?
>Adler: Deny conspiring against the empire (you were conspiring against the vulpitanians, the sexy, sexy vulpitanians).

After Doris was subdued and removed from the room, Avogadro resumed his seat. After staring at the table full of evidence for a moment, Theronmyathus turned and looked at me.

"What were you doing in the Vulpitanians' quarters and why were you absconding with a Scuti in a jar?" he asked, wearily.

"I was defending the interests of the Empire," I insisted, ignoring Thomson's warning glare. "This arrest, this entire proceeding, is preposterous! You don't trust the Vulpitanians either; I thought we were together on this!"

"We were," the Marshal sighed. "But you overstepped your bounds and got caught. The Vulpitanian thaumaturgists are working both for and against the Empire. I am in a delicate situation here, and I must uphold the Law at all costs. The Scuti creatures' disturbing claims of Royal descent pose a threat to the very foundation of our society, which cannot go unchallenged."

"You know about that?" I asked, perplexed.

"I'm sorry, Your Highness," Avogadro sighed. "It was too much to take. I felt it my duty to inform the Marshal."

"Time now to return to your cell," Theronmyathus croaked as he stood up. "With luck we can move you to more suitable accommodations before the day gets much older."

(HSH Prince Adler) Be returned, oddly, to your cell immediately after your Elfintory is searched.
(Cell opposite) Be empty of Ratso. Be filled with very drunken cervine Floozie.

I was escorted back into the detention area and locked (along with Ms. Thomson) in the cell across from where I had been earlier. I offered Thomson the bench, but she chose to sit on the floor instead.

"This really shucks," Doris groaned dolefully from the bench in the opposite cell, where I had sat before my interrogation. "The Marshal shure's a meanie. Talk about punishment. Firsht I gotta take a lotta guff from some creepo rat, an' now I gotta shee my Cute Prince make out right in fronna me, with not-me. Well GO AHEAD, you two. Twisht th' knife!"

"What happened to the rat who was here?" I asked.

"Oh they came 'n got him a few minitsh ago," the doe slurred. "Shed shumthin 'bout parolin him if he'd help em question a shcooter .. er a shquirty, shomethin' like that, I dunno. I'm shleepy."