The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

>Adler: Do a quick Elfintory check for contraband.
> ah i would say give the ixie the booze raven mad gave you but the gem is more important
> actually drink that brandy right now. all in one go
>Your elfintory has all kinds of useless junk, but at least get rid of the Old Crow gem.
(Adler) Consider turning over the gem. Weigh whether or not slipping it to the ixie is Seelie.

I rummaged around in my Elfintory, pulling out the jug of brandy Ravenmad had given me in order to reach smaller items that had slipped behind it.

"Quickly, Sire, quickly," the Ixie urged.



"This fake Vulpitanian medal & monocle, and this gem from the SALVs' laboratory are probably the most incriminating items," I thought at her with Elfmind.

"By the Lady, Sire, I cannot carry all that," the Ixie protested. "Unlike thee, I have no Elfintory, and needs must grapple objects in my arms. I can take but one. Choose! Our time is short!"

I hastily handed her the gem, and stuffed the other items back into Elfintory. She grasped the gem firmly, and vanished. I turned my attention back to the Floozies, who were still squabbling amongst themselves.

>Hire them as a team ! Hire the smartly dressed one at the condition she hires the others on your behalf.

"Why can't I hire you all as a team?" I asked.

"You're only entitled to one!" Avogadro's voice resounded irritably from down the hall, where I supposed he and the Marshal were waiting.

"The mole speaks the truth, Highness," the smartly-dressed ungulate remarked. "Royal Statute A-56 states that a noble defendant is entitled to a Floozy. Singular. Not a harem."

>Chatty Rat: Volunteer to take any leftover Floozies.
Rat, make a bunch of highly inappropriate cheers and comments.

"Hey pal, I'll take one of the extras if you're not usin' her," the rat in the other cell interrupted. "Doesn't matter which. I think me and the mousie would get along just swell. Or if Wolfie wants to wrestle, I'm game."

"Sir, the regulation applies to noble defendants," the ungulate stated. "Are you noble?"

"Not in any sense of the word," the rat glumly admitted. "Elves don't lie, see."

>Well, obviously you should choose Meadow since she is the one trenched the deepest in your dark web of deception and conspiracy.
>Meadow is the most loyal to you, but she's very, very short.

"Well, ladies, I'm sorry you all wasted your time coming down here," I sighed. "But Meadow is the only one whom I actually requested."



Suddenly Meadow squeaked and flinched. She reached into her Elfintory and fumbled out a buzzing, flashing glass orb.

"Yes? Hello?" she said to the orb as she held it up in front of her face. "Who is this? How did you get this scry? What? She WHAT?? Oh dear, oh dear. Fuma's Mercy! I'm sorry, Adler, but I, uh, I've really got to take this."

Everyone watched silently as Meadow hurried out of the Detention Center.

"It appears, Highness, that you will have to settle for your second choice," the ungulate observed.

Why not make a show of being "indecisive" just to rile the four of them up.
choose the Chatty Rat to be your floozy instead
name Avogadro your floozy.

I glowered at the remaining three and momentarily entertained perverse (almost Unseelie) fantasies of deliberately antagonizing them. Perhaps I should nominate Sergeant Avogadro or the reprehensible rat across the hall to serve as my Floozy, just to show them that I could CHOOSE rather than settle for an option that was quite apparently being forced upon me.

>Adler: Regard "Wolf Queen" rather dubiously.
Adler > ask the 3 other floosies who sent them
>The Wolf Queen reminds you suspiciously of certain someone. While she (?) might be fun, she's as likely to cause more mischief as help you
Ask the "Wolf Queen" rather pointedly where Sun-and-Moon is.
be somebody else, pretending to be Estvan, pretending to be the Wolf Queen.

"Wolf Queen," I asked the one in the skimpy armor. "Who sent you here?"

"Begorrah," she replied. "Sure and nobody sent me at all, at all. The Wolf Queen fights fer Justice and goes where she's needed."

"The Wolf Queen I've read of in legends carried a formidable weapon called 'Sun-and-Moon.' Where is it?"

"Sure and not every situation calls fer hackin' and slashin', me boyo," the Wolf Queen giggled. "Might ye be believin' it's at the cleaners?"

"Please tell me you're not Estvan Silverbrush," I thought at her in Elfmind.

"That I cannot tell ye, for elves do not lie," she replied. "Ach, there's no need to be makin' such faces. Ye cut such a foine figure as SALV Relda Fauxfox, sure'n I decided to get into the act an' adopt a disguise meself. And when I saw that you were in need of legal advice, well, I decided to come and render me services."

"Do you know anything about Imperial legal proceedings?" I asked.

"Hudalaleigh, lad. Me japes an' shenanigans have served me well enough for centuries upon centuries."

"Are you quite all right, Highness?" the ungulate asked me. "You suddenly look quite ill."

>Doris is sweet and harmless, but then again she's sweet and harmless. Could she be the secret sisterhood agent?
>The ungulate has a no-nonsense attitude and is a snappy dresser. Maybe you could get acquainted better if you chose her?
Floozies, start bickering.
Doris and the court appointed floozie, try to outfloozy one another.
she's the COURT apointed floozy and right now since it means your brother is shirking his duty, that means she's likely sent by the queen.
(Doris) Be told, firmly, by the Thompson's Gazelle that you are not to be Cute Prince Adler's Floozie.

"He's just worried about his case," Doris piped up before I could respond. "But poor little Cute Prince Adler need not fret. I'll just get a magistrate to certify a Writ of Corpus Delecti and we'll be out of here by lunchtime."

"You realize there's no such thing, right?" the ungulate scoffed. "Did you get your legal training from old issues of Jane, the Lowfolk Femme?"

"It's required reading for all Palace Floozies," Doris sniffed, crestfallen.

"Who sent you?" I asked them both.

"When word went around the Floozie Baths that you had been arrested, I volunteered," Doris gushed.

"Minister Lynne personally appointed me this task," the other ungulate stated crisply. "You may call me Ms. Thomson, Floozy-at-Law, at your service."

>Let's follow Estemere's example and pick the ungulate. Even if she's not with the Sisterhood she at least seems competent
Adler should limit how much in gratitude he is to them - their support comes with demands

Well that's just great, I thought. If she was selected by Lana Lynne, that meant that Thomson was the Sisterhood agent.

"Sorry, ladies," I sighed, resigning myself to my fate. "Ms. Thomson is clearly the most qualified. Doris, 'Wolf Queen,' I thank you for your intentions but alas, it seems I cannot use you at this time."

Doris made a choked sound in her throat and started dabbing at her eyes.

(Adler) Do break out the jug of [Three and a Half], and give it to the "Wolf Queen"

"Not so fast, me boyo," the wolfess snarled. "Sure and nobody gives the Wolf Queen the brush-off like that."

"What would you have from me?" I asked, exasperated.

"Well, did me old eyes deceive me or did I see ye clutchin' to yer breast a moment ago a bonnie wee bottle o' Three-and-a-Half?"

I stared at her agog for a moment.

"Sure and under normal circumstances I'd be loath to deprive a prisoner o' spiritous sustenance, but - ye ungrateful blatherskyte - ye've gone and spurned me largesse, and have cruelly broken this poor doe's heart into the bargain. This poor, tall, lovely, forlorn doe. She stands in need of some gentle consolin'."

"Aren't you married?" I asked suspiciously.

"And who might ye be talkin about?" the 'Wolf Queen' retorted hotly. "Hand over the needful if it's rid o' me ye wish to be."

With a heavy sigh, I pulled the bottle out of my Elfintory and passed it through the bars into the so-called Wolf Queen's waiting paws.

"Many thanks, me boyo," she cackled. "Now then, Doris, me dear. Let's away and drown our sorrows in this sweet Elfhamian nectar."

(Thompson's Gazelle) Take charge.
(Thompson's Gazelle) Notice the Ixie.

"Finally," Ms. Thomson whispered as soon as they were gone. "Now then; I hope you got that Ixie to remove the most damning evidence, Your Highness. I suggest that you speak as little as possible during these proceedings." In a louder voice, she called down the corridor: "Marshal! My client and I are ready!"

Theronmyathus and Avogadro returned to my cell, unlocked it, and led me to a small interrogation room which contained a table and three chairs. The others waited until I was seated, then sat - the Marshal on my left, and the Sergeant directly across from me. Ms. Thomson planted herself delicately in my lap.

"I must advise you -" she began.



"SEARCH HIS ELFINTORY!" Avogadro growled, leaning forward over the table.

"I regret the intrusion upon your person, Your Highness," Theronmyathus croaked. "It is an unfortunate necessity."