Hawkspace Secret Shitposting (Santa) 2016!!! [no more signup]

I have promised to randomise my half of the list through as convoluted a process as possible, and you can bet it will be documented, anonymised and posted here for your pleasure! So, if you've ever thought to yourself "gee, someday I'd really love to read a long, semi-coherent report in which piece of paper inscribed with a number representative of my identity is subjected to a series of increasingly bizarre procedures", then this is quite probably the only time you'll ever get a ~50% chance of this happening!

...so long as you sign up!