Post making contest 6.0

Would you guys like a freaking hint with these five rules from hellthe apocalypse? This post was specifically designed to pass rule two AND I'M GOING TO KEEP THAT TRUE NO MATTER WHAT GO PAST ME FORGETTING THINGS

0w0

Besides the aforementioned 2 pass, also passes 5.

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Would you guys like some freaking help with these five rules from hellthe apocalypse? This post was specifically designed to pass rule two.

0w0

This is the original version of this post, before my review. It only passed 5, which is not good for a post which is supposedly designed to pass rule 2.

I wonder if this is how you pass rule 2

Passes rules 3 and 5

It's weird, somehow I just didn't register that giant OwO until I replied.

Must have been blocking it out to avoid traumatizing myself.

0w0 0w0 0w0 0w0 0w0
(Passes no rules)

This is update #270.

Ix was taking a D&D character test that was frustrating them. They asked for my opinion on an obtusely worded question, and so I decided to see what the questionnaire was like for myself...

[8:15 PM] Sruixan: I mean it is immediately asking me to rate my own appearance compared to others in my social circle
[8:16 PM] Sruixan: which is just a tinsy bit urgh
[8:16 PM] Ixcaliber: the above question i disagree with because i don't think the countryside is a nice place to visit and i wouldn't want to live there
[8:16 PM] Ixcaliber: yeah
[8:16 PM] Ixcaliber: thats probably like where it'll determine if you're an elf or something
[8:17 PM] Sruixan: I am attractive for a period of about twenty minutes that occurs about three hours after every shower
[8:17 PM] Sruixan: i.e. the brief window of time in which my hair actually will behave
[8:17 PM] Ixcaliber: they neglected to include that option
[8:17 PM] Sruixan: such an oversight
[8:18 PM] Ixcaliber: ikr
[8:19 PM] Sruixan: how am I meant to answer a question about my ability to sprint
[8:20 PM] Sruixan: and in particular compare it to the speeds people I know are capable of
[8:20 PM] Ixcaliber: there are some obtuse questions
[8:20 PM] Sruixan: I am not frequently chased by lions ix
[8:20 PM] Sruixan: I do not have this kind of information concerning my powers of acceleration to hand
[8:20 PM] Ixcaliber: sruix can you liveblog your problems with this questionnaire to the pmc
[8:20 PM] Sruixan: that is a very good idea
[8:20 PM] Ixcaliber: i want more people to experience your sarcasm at this bad overlong questionnaire

So, buckle up, motherfuckers...

End of message.

Passes no rules!

This is update #271.

• 15 is basically asking "do you even lift, bro?", and two of the four options would have you indicate that you can lift a fuckton. Like, no. I am not jimmy buffest.
  
• the scale of hand-eye coordination runs from "I'm horrible at video games" to "I can juggle well" to "I could be an Olympic marksman" this is a shit scale
  
• "My reflexes have saved my life on more than one occasion." HOW IS THIS A THING THAT PEOPLE CAN CHOOSE
  
• "23. If I punched someone as hard as I could... I might kill them" UHH
  
• "25. It's worse to be: Weak or Fragile" honestly these questions are not great
  
• "34. It's worse to be: Too Skinny or Too Stocky" what's the context here 'cause like there's scarcely a worse one to be unless you're at the north pole freezing your scrawny arse to death or something
  
• also is it supposed to be what I would think would be worse for me to personally be or what it's worse for other people to be how am I supposed to be the judge of other people in this way
  
• you may think this is a lot of blather concerning one question but this is in the middle of a whole series of this ilk and is simply the point where I've finally snapped
  
• "41. It is better to... ...defend the weak. or ...help the poor." Both. Both is good.
  
• "44. I work out... ...so that I will be healthier. or ...so that I will be more attractive." I feel like we established about twenty questions ago that the answer is "so that I will remain functional"
  
• "45. Animals... ...deserve our respect. or ...are delicious." what the fuck
  
• "47. I think it would be interesting to have a supernatural experience. True or False" well geez yes it sure would be interesting but I feel like you are being a little light on the parameters here are we talking mild oobe or being pursued by a bloodthirsty phantom
  
• [8:42 PM] Sruixan: WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT IN LIFE: FEELING EMOTIONS OR
  [8:42 PM] Sruixan: THE ALTERNATIVE DOES NOT MATTER
  [8:42 PM] Sruixan: what the fuck is this question
  [8:42 PM] Sruixan: emotions happen
  [8:42 PM] Sruixan: sometimes they are not the greatest
  [8:43 PM] Sruixan: but why are they something that you can describe as being "more important" than something else
  [8:43 PM] Sruixan: you are going to feel these emotions whether you like it or not
  [8:43 PM] Sruixan: this is going in the post but I made vocalisations at this one
  
• "60. Religion is an institution that... ...allows some people to exploit the fears of others. or ...helps people live meaningful lives." well this is a damned harsh binary
  
• "65. I would rather spend two hours... ...learning something new. or ...leisurely jogging." where is the option for "taking a nap"
  
• and also that's yet another shitty binary can you imagine the circumstances that led to that choice being one you would actually have to make
  
• "66. I would rather spend two hours... ...alone in the wilderness. or ...alone working with my hands." uhhhhhh so my immediate interpretation of the second choices was suspect and then I reread the first and this is a terrible question
  
• "74. I would rather spend two hours... ...hiking a trail. or ...discussing philosophy." again why not both
  
• "76. I would rather spend two hours... ...at the gym. or ...at church." this quiz really has a knack for throwing up ridiculous dichotomies
  
• "79. I would rather spend two hours... ...camping with my friends. or ...drinking with my friends." again I refuse to believe these are mutually exclusive
  
• "85. I would rather spend... ...a night on the town. or ...a day riding horses." THIS IS NOT A BOTH THIS IS A NEITHER
  
• THE ACT OF ME RIDING ON A HORSE IS EXTREMELY DISCOMFORTING FOR BOTH PARTIES BELIEVE ME
  
• [8:53 PM] Sruixan: urgh 92 (" Family elders are expressing disapproval of you to the rest of the family. Do you:")
  [8:54 PM] Sruixan: the correct answer is "ignore them slash laugh it off"
  [8:54 PM] Ixcaliber: yep
  [8:55 PM] Sruixan: "and then internalise the disapproval by chucking it into the simmering pit of self-loathing"
  
• "98. A powerful but corrupt lawyer offers you money if you'll testify against your friend. Do you:" well hold up there give me a minute this is not a scenario I've ever really considered the possibility of finding myself in before
  
• "103. Are you still in touch with childhood friends?" huh we're pulling out the punches here now "No, I don't have anything in common with them anymore." and now it's just a bit too on the nose
  
• "106. If you were injured and required immediate assistance, would members of your home town agree to help?" have you heard about the NHS
  
• "111. If offered enough money, would covertly assassinate the President?" UHHHHHH hold on can I ask the NSA to politely look away for one second please
  
• (if they keylogged that then sorry I might play some more Cook Serve Delicious later please look forward to the 1pscrpscrpscr↵2↓↵3mmm1↑↑↑→→→qf↵ spam)
  
• "Yes, I've done similar things before." WHO IS ABLE TO SELECT THIS ANSWER IN GOOD FAITH
  
• this quiz got extremely political disconcertingly fast
  
• "126. What's the best path to wealth?" dunno but if you have an objectively correct answer back there in the code would you mind sharing
  
• oh bless I can get the answers output in HTML code for my LiveJournal that I totally have
  
• Chaotic Neutral Human Wizard (2nd Level)
  
• [9:06 PM] Ixcaliber: i think that doesn't sound terrible
  [9:06 PM] Ixcaliber: everyone gets human though
  [9:06 PM] Sruixan: I feel like it is very hard not to be a basic human without answering in a completely bullshit manner
  [9:06 PM] Ixcaliber: it's bad
  [9:06 PM] Ixcaliber: yeah
  

End of message.

Passes rule 3, and I had to seriously check if it passed 2 (it didn't)

after some thought i think maybe this is designed to be answered in character by a character you want to play as but don't know what they are maybe?

Passes rule 5

What if your church is a gym?

Passes rules 3 and 5

tack

Passes rule 5

0w0

This passes rule 5, only if I'm not being technical.

3x3

This passes rule 5, only if I am being technical.

This is update #272.

Turns out the site has a stats section:









...which says a lot about the sort of people who take this kind of test...

End of message.

I'm going to say this technically passes rule 3.

please further investigation

Passes rule 5

Life is like a crate box of chocolates

Passes no rules!

Honestly, the current first page is a good one to get inadvertently sent to when there's only one post on a new page.

Passes no rules!