The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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On the way to X location (before or after the Embassy)

Oh you mad, evil genius you.

(Wise Professor Skunk) Put down that scone with sweet persimmon jam, and explain for us, already, some St. Reynard lore, including the whole thing with pies 'n seltzer.

"Hmph! Mwhat makes you fmimk I was eating a scone mwif permsimmon jam? Amd why shoulmd I know amyfming about made-up Vulmpitamian customs?"

The Little Monocled Patriot: A guide to proper political and social behaviour for young Vulpitanian schoolchildren

4 TEH REPUBLIC!!!1!!!!!

Teh Young Monocled Patriot is ready 2 serve!



St. Reynards Day falls on whenever we feel liek selabrating teh aniversity of sum kind of event N teh life of St. Reynard, I guess his Assumption or his Last Buffet or whut-evar. Anyways, hes liek totes teh Patron Saint of Vulpitania. VULPITANIA VINCIT YALL!!! LIEK 4 REALZ LOL!1 Teh seltzer & piez R teh TOTALY HOLLY SACRAMINTS of R semi anual festival. Liek teh St. sez in teh Foxspell According 2 St. Reynard:

Sure and this is me pie, flung for thee. Do this as often as ye hurl it, in remembrance of these, me mighty japes. Begorrah, this is me seltzer, spritzed for thee for the removal of filling an' crumbs. Do this as often as ye pie-fight, in the interest of hygiene.

Its liek a totes ancient tradition & so 4th that piez can has different meaningz. Throw a soft cream pie 4 love, a gooey chess pie 4 teh LOLZ, & a sticky merengue 4 pure H8.

>He's obviously going to inflict some juvenile prank on you, don't fall for it.
The "monk's" name is "Adoy" or something similar.
Robed fox, be completely serious and have no intention to perform any kind of trickery on the vixen. Try to get an honest conversation out of her.
Relda, believe that the robed fox is going to trick you at every opportunity and act accordingly.
>Monk: Your taciturn nature is completely at the odds with the japery of st. Reynard's Day, and being the Head of Festivities understandably chafes you.
>Cold and borring as usual
is that little brook still leaping there?
Relda > Remember what Chesswick said, most Lendra-Cha foxes live else where
Lengra-Cha Fox > Grumble about southern softies and real Lengra-Cha live in the harsh north, hunting with there bare hands
enquire as to whether a butterfly has Reynard nature.

I cringed, expecting the robed fox to throw a pie or squirt me with seltzer, but he simply stared expectantly at me. After an awkward pause, I finally decided to answer his question.

"It's about the same as always, I guess," I hazarded.

"Not been there in a while, have you?" he asked.

"Not in a long time," I admitted, truthfully.

"Live in Lengra-Cha, most Lengra-Cha residents do not," he observed stoically. "Soft they are. Backbone and Persockity Vitality they lack! Stand the cold they cannot!"

"I notice you're not there either," I pointed out.

"What can I say?" he shrugged. "Sucks, Lengra-Cha does. Cold and boring it is. Besides, Emissary of Funtimes I have been appointed. A great burden this is, but at least out of Lengra-Cha it gets me."

"Whatever works for you," I acknowledged. "Remind me exactly what an Emissary of Funtimes' duties are?"

"Know you not?" he looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. "This question answer: Does a butterfly Reynard Nature have?"

I thought about this for a second. Aside from the specific reference to Reynard, this sounded like a Gnostermonger riddle. I didn't know a lot about their philosophy but I had read a little bit about it. I took a chance and postulated: "All things are ham, and Saint Reynard partakes of ham, therefore all things partake of Reynard nature."

(Rahddhis) Smile mysteriously at the counter-question.
(SALV Fauxfox) Smile nervously at the mysterious smile.

"Clever you are," the Emissary smiled at me. "Get better acquainted, we must. Adoyret Sam I am. Just Sam you may call me."

"I am called Relda Fauxfox," I grinned nervously, hoping he wouldn't see through my disguise.

"SALV you forgot to mention," Sam pointed out suavely. "Formal titles, in disdain we both seem to hold."

Lengra-Cha Fox > Hear "HAPPY SAINT REYNARD DAY!" behind you and tilt slightly to the left without looking back and dodge the key lime pie, which instead hits Relda

Suddenly there was a cry of "HAPPY SAINT REYNARD'S DAY!" in the background. Sam ducked calmly to the side, and a key lime pie whizzed past his head - splattering right in my face.

"Seen that coming, you should have," Sam chided me.

(Ominous Clown Horns) Be heard, very VERY close by.
Monk > Recognize "The Honking" to be a warning of worst things to come. Clowns with semi-auto pie cannons! go somewhere else to continue the conversation

While I scooped pie filling out of my eyes, Sam pricked his ears at a sound .. something vaguely like geese honking somewhere in the Embassy, a few rooms away.

"Now serious things are getting," Sam muttered ominously, clutching the large strand of beads slung around his shoulder. "Adjourn somewhere safe, we should."

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(SALV Silverbrush) Produce a pair of seltzer bottles, and be a two-gun mascula.
SALV Chesswick, go get a fresh uniform. Do not realize that it's been tampered with until it's too late.

"Ach du lieber," SALV Chesswick complained. "Zose confounded SALVs haff dusted mine schpare uniform mit der Itchink Powder!"

"Oh Auntie," SALV Silverbrush sighed.