RE: Application review and appreciation topic
11-03-2016, 02:57 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-03-2016, 03:07 AM by Fellow.)
Okay so I've had this App on the shelf for a while and I figure I might as well get an opinion on some of the stuff before I submit it.
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Spoiler
Name: The mafleeca
Nickname: Mafia Sheeple
Physical description: The mafleeca are sheep-like humanoids with glassy white eyes brown wool, dark grey skin, hooved legs and curly horns on their head. The mafleeca always dress for rainy weather, with trenchcoats being more formal than raincoats. The mafleeca consider rain ponchos to be increadibly casual, so it's rare to see them wear it unless it is especially hot and sunny out. The mafleeca don't have any sexual dimorphism, but females usually carry around an umbrella's. A female without an umbrella is simply dressing like a male, and the same goes for the reverse.
The older a mafleeca gets, the more they will grow their fur and horns out. Mafleeca may get punished by being shaven clean and having their horns clipped off.
Diet: The mafleeca are omnivores.
Class: Lower class
Rarity: Uncommon
Personality & Traits: The mafleeca are very group oriented and will become incredibly insecure or paranoid when they're not involved with a group, be it as the president or the janitor. Most don't mind being alone so long as they act on a group's behalf, however. Most mafleeca have incredibly tight familial bonds and keep in touch with their relatives. mafleeca families are always feuding and mafleeca spend most of their early lives unable to trust anybody who is not related to them.
Mafleeca fully mature at the age of 20 but are only fertile between the ages of 80 and 90, and even then they have to navigate through the hostile relations between families to get a suitable mate. When they do succeed in mating, both the male and the female and can birth several large litters of children untill they are rendered infertile. Parents hold a lot of sway over their children, and mafleeca grandparents can have a small army of relatives at their call.
While they can become quite old, average lifespan of a mafleeca is 30 because of their tendency to get into fights. It's even worse on their home planet, where a third of them don't even reach adulthood. Mafleecas' life expectancy actually goes up as they get older, and it shoots up drastically once they start having children.
Mafleeca grow out of larves that hatch from eggs, which they put in the center of large balls of food that the larvea eat on birth. The mafleeca have studied the effects of different foods on their spawn and will alter the contents of the balls if they have a shortage of mafleeca with certain skillsets. They have no issue with mafleeca hybrids, but if one were to artificially create pureblooded mafleeca, they would attempt to kill both the creator and their creation to preserve mafleeca culture.
Mafleeca are generally pleasant to be around but they will very quickly turn to lethal force when threathened, or when one undermines the group they've chosen to associate themselves with. A mafleeca toilet lady would pull a knife on someone if they didn't put money in their jar.
Mafleeca love art and tend to collect music, paintings or sculptures. mafleeca artists are nearly nonexistent, however, and the race only discovered art after they were introduced to space travel. Mafleeca are usually good at cooking, and will quickly become depressed if they are forced to eat bland food.
Mafleeca generally employ Hypnos units and the Thanatos units that come with them. Because of this mafleeca are not fond of robots that won't play music for them. The mafleeca are nocturnal and can see well enough in the dark, but they prefer artificial lighting.
Common traits:
[Cooperative][Loyal][Killer]
Lifespan: 250 years
Home Planet: Shearattle is a rather large planet where it always rains.
The planet is covered with tightly packed cities full of overcrowded apartment buildings, streetlights and drainage systems. The mafleeca have converted some of their buildings to casinos and restaurants. Because the locals leave visitors alone so long as the visitors do not interfere with them, the planet makes for a good place for a holiday despite the rain, but as the mafleeca families are continually fighting over territory, one may find one's waiter shot in the head and replaced with another between the first and second course.
Most of the uncivilized areas of the planet are kept covered in swampland to deal with the heavy rainfall, though some of the uninhabited space is also taken up by big industrial farms. The swamps are nearly devoid of dangerous creatures as the Mafleeca have in the past killed every animal that so much as looked as if it might threathen them.
The planet's main export is cheap liquor as most Mafleeca households have a makeshift brewery. A mafleeca would never drink this swill themselves. They do have breweries making more expensive liquor. Shearattle also produces a small amount of unmeltable steel.
History: Mafleeca history consists mostly of mafleeca overreacting to slights against their family, and trying to raid and take over the territory of the offending family. The mafleeca wars calmed down somewhat after they were discovered by spacefaring species, because they started to respond to overpopulation by sending some of the excess mafleeca into space rather than persuing territory more agressively when a family gets too big.
Subspecies: Black-fleeced mafleeca have black wool and clay brown skin. They are extremely rare, and will be the only child in the litter if they do get born. This is because black-fleeced mafleeca are cannibalistic and their pitch black larvea eat their brothers and sisters upon birth. Black-fleeced mafleeca are as lucky as they are common and if a disaster befalls the mafleeca, a black-fleeced mafleeca is usually the one to blame.
Though they may not be gifted in the luck department, black-fleeced mafleeca tend to be incredibly hardy, having sufficient regenerative abilities to cope with lost organs and limbs. Back-fleeced mafleeca are usually sent to live in the swamps until their family calls for them. Black-fleeced mafleeca can reproduce just like normal mafleeca can, but their children are often frail and blind or otherwise disabled.
One can force a litter to produce a black-fleeced nafleeca by putting some mafleeca meat inside the food ball, but nobody wants to. For some reason enslaved mafleeca will produce entire litters of black-fleeced mafleeca when allowed to breed. The larvea from these eggs are hazardous as they eat any organic matter and will not stop eating for days after their food balls run out. For this reason slave traders don't tend to let their nafleeca breed, but rather buy stolen eggs from the mafleeca themselves.
Special: Mafleeca are normally not especially light sleepers, but telling a mafleeca to wake up will wake them up immediately without failure.
Mafleeca will sometimes mistake geckerchauns for close family, and keep insisting that this is true despite all evidence to the contrary until the geckerchaun themselves tells them otherwise.
Quote:
Stats:
Strength: 9
Intelligence: 2
Charisma: 3
Endurance: 4
Agility: 7
Luck: 1
Common jobs: Guard, Cook, Crook
Likes: Going with the group, Family, Chatting, Cooking, Art
Dislikes: Bland food, Disrespect, Being out for just themselves
Patrons: Bia, Zelus, Nike, Thanatos, Artemis
Gods: Helper(Union), Poetnix(War)
Common attack pattern: Give a single warning before trying to kill the opponent on the first stike. Large groups hide and try to chip away at the opponent.
Height:
5'6 ft
Trivia:
Ocasionally, mafleeca will become homesick when they are off their homeworld and may shower with their coats on to reminisce.
Mafleeca get very flattered when they're hired as bodyguards. Since they're always willing to fight for their teammates, to them a job as a bodyguard is like being paid just to be around.
The mafleeca mostly trade with the volkronn, as they both share a willingness to kill over business, not mention a love for warm clothing. Groups that try to mess with the volkronn's ruthless business practices need to be wary for mafleeca hitmen, and the volkron have some ships aiding the mafleecas' understaffed fleet to protect their intrests. Even though they look out for one another, having a volkronn as a boss is still draining for most mafleeca, despite their fanaticism.
Name: The mafleeca
Nickname: Mafia Sheeple
Physical description: The mafleeca are sheep-like humanoids with glassy white eyes brown wool, dark grey skin, hooved legs and curly horns on their head. The mafleeca always dress for rainy weather, with trenchcoats being more formal than raincoats. The mafleeca consider rain ponchos to be increadibly casual, so it's rare to see them wear it unless it is especially hot and sunny out. The mafleeca don't have any sexual dimorphism, but females usually carry around an umbrella's. A female without an umbrella is simply dressing like a male, and the same goes for the reverse.
The older a mafleeca gets, the more they will grow their fur and horns out. Mafleeca may get punished by being shaven clean and having their horns clipped off.
Diet: The mafleeca are omnivores.
Class: Lower class
Rarity: Uncommon
Personality & Traits: The mafleeca are very group oriented and will become incredibly insecure or paranoid when they're not involved with a group, be it as the president or the janitor. Most don't mind being alone so long as they act on a group's behalf, however. Most mafleeca have incredibly tight familial bonds and keep in touch with their relatives. mafleeca families are always feuding and mafleeca spend most of their early lives unable to trust anybody who is not related to them.
Mafleeca fully mature at the age of 20 but are only fertile between the ages of 80 and 90, and even then they have to navigate through the hostile relations between families to get a suitable mate. When they do succeed in mating, both the male and the female and can birth several large litters of children untill they are rendered infertile. Parents hold a lot of sway over their children, and mafleeca grandparents can have a small army of relatives at their call.
While they can become quite old, average lifespan of a mafleeca is 30 because of their tendency to get into fights. It's even worse on their home planet, where a third of them don't even reach adulthood. Mafleecas' life expectancy actually goes up as they get older, and it shoots up drastically once they start having children.
Mafleeca grow out of larves that hatch from eggs, which they put in the center of large balls of food that the larvea eat on birth. The mafleeca have studied the effects of different foods on their spawn and will alter the contents of the balls if they have a shortage of mafleeca with certain skillsets. They have no issue with mafleeca hybrids, but if one were to artificially create pureblooded mafleeca, they would attempt to kill both the creator and their creation to preserve mafleeca culture.
Mafleeca are generally pleasant to be around but they will very quickly turn to lethal force when threathened, or when one undermines the group they've chosen to associate themselves with. A mafleeca toilet lady would pull a knife on someone if they didn't put money in their jar.
Mafleeca love art and tend to collect music, paintings or sculptures. mafleeca artists are nearly nonexistent, however, and the race only discovered art after they were introduced to space travel. Mafleeca are usually good at cooking, and will quickly become depressed if they are forced to eat bland food.
Mafleeca generally employ Hypnos units and the Thanatos units that come with them. Because of this mafleeca are not fond of robots that won't play music for them. The mafleeca are nocturnal and can see well enough in the dark, but they prefer artificial lighting.
Common traits:
[Cooperative][Loyal][Killer]
Lifespan: 250 years
Home Planet: Shearattle is a rather large planet where it always rains.
The planet is covered with tightly packed cities full of overcrowded apartment buildings, streetlights and drainage systems. The mafleeca have converted some of their buildings to casinos and restaurants. Because the locals leave visitors alone so long as the visitors do not interfere with them, the planet makes for a good place for a holiday despite the rain, but as the mafleeca families are continually fighting over territory, one may find one's waiter shot in the head and replaced with another between the first and second course.
Most of the uncivilized areas of the planet are kept covered in swampland to deal with the heavy rainfall, though some of the uninhabited space is also taken up by big industrial farms. The swamps are nearly devoid of dangerous creatures as the Mafleeca have in the past killed every animal that so much as looked as if it might threathen them.
The planet's main export is cheap liquor as most Mafleeca households have a makeshift brewery. A mafleeca would never drink this swill themselves. They do have breweries making more expensive liquor. Shearattle also produces a small amount of unmeltable steel.
History: Mafleeca history consists mostly of mafleeca overreacting to slights against their family, and trying to raid and take over the territory of the offending family. The mafleeca wars calmed down somewhat after they were discovered by spacefaring species, because they started to respond to overpopulation by sending some of the excess mafleeca into space rather than persuing territory more agressively when a family gets too big.
Subspecies: Black-fleeced mafleeca have black wool and clay brown skin. They are extremely rare, and will be the only child in the litter if they do get born. This is because black-fleeced mafleeca are cannibalistic and their pitch black larvea eat their brothers and sisters upon birth. Black-fleeced mafleeca are as lucky as they are common and if a disaster befalls the mafleeca, a black-fleeced mafleeca is usually the one to blame.
Though they may not be gifted in the luck department, black-fleeced mafleeca tend to be incredibly hardy, having sufficient regenerative abilities to cope with lost organs and limbs. Back-fleeced mafleeca are usually sent to live in the swamps until their family calls for them. Black-fleeced mafleeca can reproduce just like normal mafleeca can, but their children are often frail and blind or otherwise disabled.
One can force a litter to produce a black-fleeced nafleeca by putting some mafleeca meat inside the food ball, but nobody wants to. For some reason enslaved mafleeca will produce entire litters of black-fleeced mafleeca when allowed to breed. The larvea from these eggs are hazardous as they eat any organic matter and will not stop eating for days after their food balls run out. For this reason slave traders don't tend to let their nafleeca breed, but rather buy stolen eggs from the mafleeca themselves.
Special: Mafleeca are normally not especially light sleepers, but telling a mafleeca to wake up will wake them up immediately without failure.
Mafleeca will sometimes mistake geckerchauns for close family, and keep insisting that this is true despite all evidence to the contrary until the geckerchaun themselves tells them otherwise.
Quote:
Stats:
Strength: 9
Intelligence: 2
Charisma: 3
Endurance: 4
Agility: 7
Luck: 1
Common jobs: Guard, Cook, Crook
Likes: Going with the group, Family, Chatting, Cooking, Art
Dislikes: Bland food, Disrespect, Being out for just themselves
Patrons: Bia, Zelus, Nike, Thanatos, Artemis
Gods: Helper(Union), Poetnix(War)
Common attack pattern: Give a single warning before trying to kill the opponent on the first stike. Large groups hide and try to chip away at the opponent.
Height:
5'6 ft
Trivia:
Ocasionally, mafleeca will become homesick when they are off their homeworld and may shower with their coats on to reminisce.
Mafleeca get very flattered when they're hired as bodyguards. Since they're always willing to fight for their teammates, to them a job as a bodyguard is like being paid just to be around.
The mafleeca mostly trade with the volkronn, as they both share a willingness to kill over business, not mention a love for warm clothing. Groups that try to mess with the volkronn's ruthless business practices need to be wary for mafleeca hitmen, and the volkron have some ships aiding the mafleecas' understaffed fleet to protect their intrests. Even though they look out for one another, having a volkronn as a boss is still draining for most mafleeca, despite their fanaticism.
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notes
So there's a couple of things in here I'm not sure about.
For one, their looks.
The mafleeca are mostly just antropomorphic sheep at the moment. I want them to be sheeplike, naturally, but I feel like they could do with being a bit more alienish. I feel like adding extra arms would be too similar to the Kounini and I don't believe extra legs would suit them very well. I have considered adding extra eyes.
And while I wanted to give them some degree of homogenity(they are sheeple after all) I think maybe the hands in the pocket/always in raincoats thing might make the way mafleeca behave a little restrictive.
Now, with the black-fleeced subspecies, I thought it would be neat to have a black sheep subspecies that caused bad stuff to happen, but I'm not sure the healing factor they get in return isn't an overcompensation.
The thing where the black larvea pop up with slavers is kind of there because between their loyalty and their high breeding output they'd make for an ideal slave race and I didn't intend them to be.
So there's a couple of things in here I'm not sure about.
For one, their looks.
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old species sheet I made a long time ago![[Image: qylzA5F.png]](https://i.imgur.com/qylzA5F.png)
The mafleeca are mostly just antropomorphic sheep at the moment. I want them to be sheeplike, naturally, but I feel like they could do with being a bit more alienish. I feel like adding extra arms would be too similar to the Kounini and I don't believe extra legs would suit them very well. I have considered adding extra eyes.
Show Content
Spoiler![[Image: 9O5jgXN.png]](https://i.imgur.com/9O5jgXN.png)
And while I wanted to give them some degree of homogenity(they are sheeple after all) I think maybe the hands in the pocket/always in raincoats thing might make the way mafleeca behave a little restrictive.
Now, with the black-fleeced subspecies, I thought it would be neat to have a black sheep subspecies that caused bad stuff to happen, but I'm not sure the healing factor they get in return isn't an overcompensation.
The thing where the black larvea pop up with slavers is kind of there because between their loyalty and their high breeding output they'd make for an ideal slave race and I didn't intend them to be.