RE: Destroy the Big Bad
09-16-2016, 01:12 AM
I call over one of the hotel staff, flashing a pearly-gates smile as I make a tasteful but understated show of reaching for my wallet.
"Hey there, I say," and
"Good afternoon, I trust you're enjoying your stay?" say they. They seem to be having a genuinely good time at the prospect of helping a valued guest out, which I can respect in a hotelier's staffing decisions. I nod, the very picture of geniality (not genieality, unless my accommodations get forcibly adjusted to something smaller than their designated Ghost Lodgings. They're very nice, by the way, I'd wholeheartedly recommend you stop by for a spell if you're not on a real hurry to your afterlife.)
"Oh yes," say I, "It's been lovely. Sure, being effortlessly crushed by your roving establishment wasn't what I had in mind when I made a last-minute reservation, but in the longer run it's hardly inconvenienced me. The service has been great." I put down the daquiri glass in the universal gesture of 'let's realtalk', and my main man here adjusts his face to the perfect amount of concern. A true professional.
"I'm still getting used to all this post-mortem business. Got this insatiable craving for things being how they used to be, which was all of half a day ago, and generally getting my polter on with the furniture, but I'm sure I can worry about that after my vacation. I can't help but think, though-" and at this point, I gesture to the Big Bad as he gruesomely impales some vampire or another "-that's a right strange bit of scenery."
"I wouldn't dare to disagree," beams the hotel staff.
"At ease, buddy, I'm not one of those kind of guests who takes it out on the guy at the bottom of the heap. I'm simply curious. Doesn't really fit the Resort's decorum and wondered if there was some story behind it." I sigh with the delicate tones of a gale tearing open cemetery gates, and give him my credit card and a crisp twenty dollar bill for their trouble. "Would you fetch me another something or other? I'm feeling vermouthy, get the lady behind the bar to surprise me. Let me know if you learn anything!"
"Hey there, I say," and
"Good afternoon, I trust you're enjoying your stay?" say they. They seem to be having a genuinely good time at the prospect of helping a valued guest out, which I can respect in a hotelier's staffing decisions. I nod, the very picture of geniality (not genieality, unless my accommodations get forcibly adjusted to something smaller than their designated Ghost Lodgings. They're very nice, by the way, I'd wholeheartedly recommend you stop by for a spell if you're not on a real hurry to your afterlife.)
"Oh yes," say I, "It's been lovely. Sure, being effortlessly crushed by your roving establishment wasn't what I had in mind when I made a last-minute reservation, but in the longer run it's hardly inconvenienced me. The service has been great." I put down the daquiri glass in the universal gesture of 'let's realtalk', and my main man here adjusts his face to the perfect amount of concern. A true professional.
"I'm still getting used to all this post-mortem business. Got this insatiable craving for things being how they used to be, which was all of half a day ago, and generally getting my polter on with the furniture, but I'm sure I can worry about that after my vacation. I can't help but think, though-" and at this point, I gesture to the Big Bad as he gruesomely impales some vampire or another "-that's a right strange bit of scenery."
"I wouldn't dare to disagree," beams the hotel staff.
"At ease, buddy, I'm not one of those kind of guests who takes it out on the guy at the bottom of the heap. I'm simply curious. Doesn't really fit the Resort's decorum and wondered if there was some story behind it." I sigh with the delicate tones of a gale tearing open cemetery gates, and give him my credit card and a crisp twenty dollar bill for their trouble. "Would you fetch me another something or other? I'm feeling vermouthy, get the lady behind the bar to surprise me. Let me know if you learn anything!"
peace to the unsung peace to the martyrs | i'm johnny rotten appleseed
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow