♪Here comes a thought, that might alarm you♫

106 Killed in Fatal Vending Machine Malfunction
An unknown error in a local vending machine has caused the deaths of 106, with 20 more injured. Surviving witnesses said that the man at the vending machine typed 310 (the code for Dill-Flavoured Doritos Chips) and put in a 100$ bill. After a few minutes of beeping, the machine declared that "[the secret government code has been] accepted, self-destruct", causing a 150 m explosion in the Mall.

67 were pronounced dead on the scene, and a further 39 were declared dead after emergency surgeries. "The damages done by [that diabolical machine] were unlike anything this hospital has ever seen," commented a secretary.

Programmers of the vending macine released the following statement - "What the fuck? What the fuck," - before rushing back to their cubicles. Reporters could not reach them for further comment.

The Mayor could not be reached for comment; he had taken a small clear pill and started foaming at the mouth.