the awwful fantroll quirk thread

1F M3MORY S3RV3S, MY OR1G1N4L F4NTROLL H4D 4 L1L4C BLU3 COLOR AND TH3 QU1RK OF aLtErNaTiNg CaPs L1K3 G4MZEE 4S GAMZ33 H4D Y3T TO B3 1NTRODUC3ED! 1T 1S ODD TO TH1NK OF MYS3LF 4S BOTH ON3 OF TH3 F1RST P3OPL3 W1TH 4 F4NTROLL 4ND 4LSO ON3 OF TH3 P3OPL3 WHO B3C4M3 MOST T1RED OF TH3M

HOW CLOS3 4M 1, SRU1X4N?

Bang On, Actually.

くコ:彡 Sruixa<, was<'t your fa<troll just a photo of you i< grayscale with hor<s :V

That Is Exactly What It Was, Because It Turns Out That Although The Trollslum Post snarkyStickler Was Introduced In Has Been Lost To The Mists, Its Accompanying Pictures Are Still In My Backup Of My Old Computer On Which Said Images Were Made.

I Am Planning To Keep Them There.

If Not, Then I Am Pretty Sure I Still Have The Spreadsheet From "The Time Sruix Thought About A Sburbventure, Fleshed Out Plots, Ideas And Characters And Then Proceeded To Do Nothing With Any Of It - Twice". That Might Be A Laugh.

Show Content

SpoilerTM: i SHOULD have KNOWN BETTER
TM: of COURSE i STILL had it i AM SHIT at GETTING rid of THINGS

AR: so of corS I hav 2 stA true 2 my unst8ed wrd hEr
AR: & actually GIV dem Ech a go

FS: :D using my rule 8 immunity whic:h I totally haven't been waiting all :Day for!!!!!!
FS: :D just so that I c:oul:D make a post exac:tly like this!!!!!!

DG: 1 mean h0nestly m0st 0f these s1x h0ld up relat1vely well
DG: there's n0th1ng t00 1lleg1ble am0ngst them, bar maybe aR's

IC: Saying that, this one is tearrible and tea be frank whilst tea idea is nice and all...
IC: ...it's so puerhfectly teanage Sruix and I oolonger want tea try and think abouteat.

PE: And huh.
PE: ...
PE: These trolls don't have names.
PE: ...
PE: They have handles, though.
PE: ...
PE: Which I'll reveal at the end.
PE: ...
PE: Probably.

-~-~-~-~-~-~

II: |And then a few months later I decide trolls are becoming overused=
II: =which I must say was uncharacteristically prescient of me|

JJ: and so man do i get me a awfly good idea, ya hear?
JJ: and yeah turns out not ackshly groundbreakin or anything but still
JJ: i thought it cool, OK?

KK: I could make a world-ending-bad-game picture-story with a surprise-idea.
KK: It would start as usual, with the players and the game being brought up as you would expect.
KK: Though it would be made clear that these were normal kids with parents and families.
KK: And no thing-storing problems! How funny!

LL: aolas thaeas eisetgh platyes wpiould beat schpol;feinsds adn thsuej geaptogapojlly scevlo
LL: prsetsjntg somteihsng of a challeengae oecn teah mtesihosers staetised faalmjingg

UU: But these despicable weaklings would have acquired the game from an unlikely ally.
UU: A traitor, objectively speaking.
UU: Someone known to these wretched imbeciles only through the Information Superhighway.
UU: And of whom they knew very little in the way of personal information.

VV: I was NOT a traitor! That's just mean!
VV: But you are right! I did make contact with someone when I wasn't supposed to!
VV: They're really sweet, though! I made a friend!
VV: And of course I had to introduce them to all my other friends! You know who I mean!
VV: YOU GUYS!!
VV: Also, they did know some things!
VV: Like our names!
VV: Our not at all suspicious six-letter names!
VV: Which just happened to begin with the same letter doubled-up in our handles!

WW: Soooooooo yeah, back on point: the story's trying to insinuate the standard thing~
WW: Hoping that the kerfuffle of entry would be the draw to the stoooooooory~
WW: Buuuuuuuut~
WW: The players in the story would be entering at the same time as uuuuuuuus~
WW: So when things got tough we'd be screaming at each otheeeeeeer~

XX: but we bth fuckin fuck shit up
XX: dem cuz dey be idiotz
XX: we cuz r space player cs some shit in the fuckin cloudz
XX: gets the wrong idea
XX: n trys to break r shit
XX: lk geez UU get yo act tgthr
XX: xept u talkd me ovr so w/e
XX: we r so fucked

YY: [culmynatyng yn a double twyst]
YY: [that yn any hygh-qualyty experyence would have been delyvered yn a flash]
YY: [but thys ys me y'm talkyng about]
YY: [so the byggest possyble jump would have been from a spryte comyc to somethyng "properly" drawn]
YY: [whereby yt ys revealed yn a flash-forward that the "trolls" are yn fact the player's ancestors]
YY: [who thanks to a combynation of gross neglygence and Dersyan ynterference]
YY: [were bundled ynto the lotus and sent to post-Reckonyng Earth, where they were raysed by exyles]
YY: [thus solvyng that mystery and also provydyng ample opportunyty for thyngs to get fyxed by ynvokyng tyme shenanygans wyth the lotus]
YY: [synce y guess thys was about the tyme when yt was yntroduced yn comyc and y thought yt was ynterestyng]

ZZ: }REGARDLEZZ, TWIZT TWO WAZ THAT THERE WERE TWO OTHER PEOPLE TO BE TALKED WITH{
ZZ: }WHO I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT UNTIL ABOUT AN HOUR AGO AND OH MY GOZH I SEPARATELY HAD THE CHERUB IDEA{
ZZ: }EXCEPT MINE WERE ANGELZ BECAUZE THAT WAZ WHAT WE HAD TO PLAY WITH IN THE CANON{
ZZ: }AND THE ONLY REAZON I THOUGHT OF THEM IF MEMORY ZERVEZ WAS BECAUZE I HAD TWO LETTERZ OF THE ALPHABET LEFT TO FILL{
ZZ: }A-H BEING "GUARDIANZ" AND M-T BEING THE PLAYERZ{
ZZ: }BEYOND ZUGGEZTING THAT THEZE GUYZ WERE RESPONZIBLE FOR THE TIMING FUCK UPZ AND THE ORIGINAL COPIEZ OF THE GAME I NEVER DEVELOPED THEM{
ZZ: }BECAUZE I GAVE UP ON THE IDEA ZOON AFTERWARDZ WHEN I REALIZED I COULD NOT PULL IT OFF{
ZZ: }GO FIGURE{
ZZ: }THOUGH I MUZT HAVE TOYED WITH IT OCCAZIONALLY BECAUZE ZOMEWHEN KK AND LL CHANGED QUIRKZ AND LOTZ OF CLAZZPECTZ CHANGED{
ZZ: }AZ THE TOP OF THIZ ZPREADZHEET DOEZ NOT MATCH THE BOTTOM{
ZZ: }ZO ACTUALLY NONE OF THEZE QUIRKZ ARE TROLL QUIRKZ ZINCE NONE OF THEZE TEN ARE TROLLZ{
ZZ: }EH{

tl;dr: Goodbye tempestuousMisanthrope, autonomousRenegade, felicitousSocialite, digitalGuru, infusionConsumer & paranoidElitist; Goodbye inchoateIsthmus, jackalopeJalopy, kairosKyriolexy, leisurelyLollygagging, unctuousUnderbelly, visceralVelour, wampishWeatherall, xiphoidXerotripsis, yonderlyYantra & zugzwangZoilism, And Good Riddance To You All.

I Can't Help But Feel That Said Send-Off Is Somewhat Tarnished By Being Written In A Canon Troll Quirk But Whatever I Have Spent The Past Hour And A Half Purposefully Reaching The Point Of Not Caring About This. That Was Easy Because That Was Also Precisely Where I Started From. There Was Just The Faintest Speck Of Caring Somewhere In The Middle, Right About When I Remembered That I Had An Indigo Troll Whose Conversations With Humans Had Motivated Him To Try Leafy Beverages As A Way Of Curbing His Violent Tendencies Oh My Goodness Past Me We Need To Have Words About Things.

I Began With The Intent Of Seeing If There Was A Quirk I'd "Used" That I Liked Enough To Keep But I Don't Think So Really. Maybe I Will Just Stick With This After All. It Is Growing On Me.