The Edge of Desolation

Alice: Examine FOURTH WALL.



Still intact! Luckily for you, the WATER PRESSURE problems that caused several freak TOILET EXPLOSIONS have yet to propel any part of the bathroom through it. Yep, this thing will stay up FOREVER. No flying toilets here!

And it's a good thing too, because nothing must ever harm LA GIACONDA. She is your SOUL, your MUSE. Okay, she's not really your muse. That sounds kinda dumb! But you do think it's cool how her EYES follow you around. The feeling of providence provides a counterbalance for a sense of doom you have felt these last three years. You make up little things like this all the time, SILENT GUARDIANS to protect you from harm. It is a coping mechanism, you think. But that's okay!

"Life beats you up. You can either curl up in a ball and die, or you can stand up and say we’re different. We’re the strong ones, and you can’t break us!"

One of BILL WATTERSON'S cartoon characters said that, you think.

Yes, that sounds right.

Alice: Check and see if the package hasn't already arrived.



You attempt NOT to go check on the mail for the FIFTEENTH TIME today but fail this effort utterly. Quickly, you open up the door and hear a DING from your computer. You almost turn around to check on it when you NOTICE.

Holy shit. You didn't think it would be right there! You assumed you'd have to go OUTSIDE or something first. It's so nice that this proved to be so easy.