This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stuff

I was reading up on Maori mythology for this thread because Maori mythology is great, one time a demigod literally beats the living daylights out of the sun so it stops sprinting across the sky like an asshole

Anyway, before humans and demigods, primordial sky dad and earth mum are hugging so tightly none of their godchildrens have any wriggle room between them, and I knew for a fact that somebody managed to push them apart, but couldn't remember who so I looked it up.

Tūmatauenga, war god, suggested killing them first. Tāne Mahuta, god of the forest, father of birds, bugs, and trees, suggests something a bit less drastic and then pries his parents apart by lying down and pushing with his legs. I can't believe there's a forest deity with beautiful powerful legs, Maori mythology is actually the best shit

A part of the story I'd never heard is that afterward, Tawhirimatea (god of winds and storms) feels bad for their dad and declares revenge on his bros for separating their parents, so he knocks over all of Tāne's trees, musses up Tangaroa's ocean, and sends the gods of fish, lizards, crops, and uncultivated food plants scarpering. Then Tūmatauenga and his kids (humans) stand up to the storm and tell it to fuck off, then teach their cowardly bros a lesson by digging them up by their hair and fuckin' eating them.