Pun Intended: Tales of Quips, Puns, and One-liners

One time I got into a conversation with these people at a friends wedding about river safety in the city. Basically talking about how shitty it is that a bunch of students die sometimes because they get drunk and throw themselves into the water. I told them I'd probably never have to worry about anything like that because I don't drink.

and then without even thinking or missing a beat, I go

"I guess that makes me the designated diver."

It got a bunch of laughs. I was pretty proud of myself.