Writing and Semicolons Thread

Pirates

Two Bit Fred and Lucy McLucy were pirates. They worked at the local library.
One day, Blind George came into the library. He was also a pirate.
"Yarr!" Blind George said to Lucy McLucy. "Where ye be keepin' the bottles o' rum, matey?"
"Blind George, ye blind fool!" Lucy McLucy shouted back at him. "This be the library! If it's rum ye want, ye should go to the tavern!"
"Oh," said Blind George. He held a hand to his chin thoughtfully, then screamed in pain because it was his hook hand. Two Bit Fred quickly grabbed a bandage from the first aid kit and put it on Blind George's chin.
"Blind George, ye need to be more careful!" Two Bit Fred said. "Haven't we been tellin' ye for weeks ye need a seein'-eye parrot?"
"Bah! I can see just fine, matey! They don't call me Blind George for nothin'!" Blind George said to a bookshelf.
"Blind George, do ye even know what the word blind means?" Lucy McLucy asked, frustrated.
"Er... well, no, not as such," Blind George replied.
"I'll show ye what it means, ya great big oaf!" Two Bit Fred shouted, lugging a heavy dictionary over. "It says it right here in this dictionary!"
Suddenly, there was a burst of cannon fire and the library wall came crashing down. There was a pirate ship on the other side of the wall.
"It's John Maritime, the most notorious pirate on the Seven Seas!" Two Bit Fred gasped.
"And he's shellin' our library with heavy artillery!" Lucy McLucy shouted.
"Hand over that dictionary, mateys!" shouted John Maritime, the most notorious pirate on the Seven Seas. "Or I'll make ye all walk the plank!"
"But we be on land!" Lucy McLucy said. "How did ye get that thar ship of yers all the way this far inland, matey?"
"That be none of yer business, landlubbers!" John Maritime snarled. "I've come for the dictionary!"
"Why do ye want it?" Two Bit Fred shouted at him.
"So I can find out what 'notorious' means! And then I'll know what to say when they call me the most notorious pirate on the Seven Seas!" John Maritime replied. "And 'artillery', too. That's a new word on me."
"Get yer own dictionary, ye scurvy knave!" Blind George shouted at a stuffed moose head. "I'm about to find out what 'blind' means!"
"Curse ye, Blind George!" John Maritime screamed. "Now I've got to look up 'scurvy' and 'knave', too! Salty Chuck, grab that book before they give me any other hard words!"
"Aye aye, Cap'n!" said John Maritime's first mate, Salty Chuck, with a hearty salute. He leapt off the pirate ship and walked around the library, then knocked on the front door.
"Two Bit Fred, would ya see who that is at the door?" Lucy McLucy asked.
"Aye aye!" Two Bit Fred said. He ran to the door and opened it, finding Salty Chuck.
"Good day, matey!" Salty Chuck said with a smile.
"Arr! I be sorry, me hearty, but we be busy at the moment. Perhaps ye could come back later?" Two Bit Fred asked.
"I just wanted to take out a book," Salty Chuck replied.
"Which book?" Two Bit Fred asked, suspiciously.
"Why, the dictionary!" Salty Chuck said eagerly.
"Tell him we don't let people sign out reference books!" Lucy McLucy shouted.
"Oh," Salty Chuck said, disappointed. He yelled out to the ship. "Cap'n! They won't let us sign out reference books!"
The cannons suddenly stopped firing.
"Curses!" John Maritime snarled. "Then I guess we've got no business here, Salty Chuck. Come on, it's back to the Seven Seas with us!"
"Where you can be the most notorious pirate, Cap'n?" Salty Chuck said, running through the library and jumping out the hole in the wall.
"Aye, matey! Even if I haven't the foggiest idea what that means."
And with that, John Maritime's ship sailed down the street.
"Well, that was an exciting adventure, wasn't it?" Blind George said to a chair. "And we all learned somethin' from it, too!"
"What's that we learned, Blind George?" Lucy McLucy asked, puzzled.
"We learned that the library doesn't sign out reference books!" he said, chuckling. "Well, see you later, me hearties!"
And then Blind George walked into a wall and passed out.