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Writing and Semicolons Thread - Printable Version

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Writing and Semicolons Thread - OTTO - 05-02-2009

Originally posted by a deleted user


This is a writing thread so write stories n stuff


What the fuck is a semicolon, some kind of medieval legend beast or somethin'

A semicolon can be used when you have two separate but closely-related independent clauses.  They can be used in lieu of a period, though doing this wholesale can result in overuse.

Notice in the previous sentence that a comma was used instead of a semicolon. This is because 'though doing this wholesale can result in overuse' is a dependent clause. This is rule one of semicolon use:
1> Don't use it in dependent clauses.

Here's some bullshit about conjunctions; notice how subordinating conjunctions introduce dependent clauses. 

Quote:The most common subordinating conjunctions are "after," "although," "as," "because," "before," "how," "if," "once," "since," "than," "that," "though," "till," "until," "when," "where," "whether," and "while."
Some examples:
Quote:Where he went, there were no roads.
There were no roads where he went.
It wouldn't make sense to substitute a semicolon in this case, so you should not use one!


Notice that in the previous sentence, 'so' was not a subordinating conjunction.  'It would not make sense to substitute a semicolon in this case' and 'you should not use one' were both independent clauses, brought together by the coordinating conjunction 'so'. Without it, they could have been two separate sentences.  There are several ways to write such a sentence; each carries a different sense of flow and each assigns importance to the contents of the sentence.
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This is rule two of semicolon use:
Do not add a coordinating conjunction like 'and,' 'but,' 'or,' 'nor,' 'for,' 'so,' or 'yet' and a semicolon.  They don't mix.

There is one exception to rule two.  Say you have a long sentence wherein: you have several dependent clauses, much like this one, which are separated with commas; you have commas, commas and more commas (more than you know what to do with); and it seems like, as if a large fish swallowing a medium-sized fish that has swallowed a school of small fish, the commas have blended together. In that case, you can turn the encompassing list which would normally have commas into semicolons even with the coordinating conjunction.

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so instead of:

Quote:I saw you do it; so you can go fuck yourself.
say one of:
Quote:I saw you do it; you can go fuck yourself.
I saw you do it, so you can go fuck yourself

em dashes
Em dashes (—) are similar grammatically to colons and semicolons—but they punctuate things with more immediacy and they pretty much
rule school


RE: Semicolons and Writing Thread - MaxieSatan - 01-25-2012

I am a fan of semicolons; they are my favorite punctuation mark (next to parentheses, of course).

Which reminds me, there is something important to note about parentheses: namely, as a general rule, the punctuation that would end the parenthetical clause should, rather than going inside, go outside the closing parenthesis.


RE: Semicolons and Writing Thread - AgentBlue - 01-25-2012

I...ridiculously abuse the emdash - at least it's an affectation I can't seem to shake. Uuuusuaaallly I write like I talk (thus that monstrosity of repeated vowels =.=) and the emdash represents a pause in speech - for example, when I insert another thought - that isn't quite as jarring timing-wise as a semicolon. It just doesn't sound like me; I don't place independent clauses like that in my speeching!


RE: Semicolons and Writing Thread - SleepingOrange - 03-28-2012

(03-28-2012, 01:43 AM)Wheat Wrote: »Slorange was booooored last week and wanted me to write a thing so I told him a story line-by-line about vultures in Nowhere. as always criticisms are welcome and suchlike

Fun Fa(cts/x): When I said "cast a wordspell on me" I meant "cast a magic spell that would allow me to accomplish the writing I was floundering on", but I didn't correct you once storytimes looked imminent.


RE: Writing and Semicolons Thread - Infrared - 03-28-2012

Hee hee~

My only complaint is that you don't write often enough :<


RE: Writing and Semicolons Thread - Dragon Fogel - 04-03-2012

I wrote a silly story tonight. Here it is.

Akwar the Orc Sorceror

Once upon a time, there was a cat named Akwar the Orc Sorceror. He lived with an orc sorceror named Cat.
One day, Cat had to leave to do some particularly complex orc sorcery in a faraway land. He left Akwar the Orc Sorceror in the care of his brother, Akwar, who was also an orc sorceror and who Cat had named his cat after.
Unbeknownst to Cat, Akwar the Orc Sorceror hated Akwar the Orc Sorceror, and so he saw this as an opportunity to enact his plans for revenge. However, Akwar was not a very bright or successful orc sorceror, so his plans for revenge mostly involved cuddling Akwar the Orc Sorceror and then forgetting what his plans were.
After three days, Akwar the Orc Sorceror finally remembered that cuddling was not a good way of enacting revenge, and so he came up with a new plan. His new plan involved giving Akwar the Orc Sorceror a saucer of milk.
Akwar the Orc Sorceror watched with glee as Akwar the Orc Sorceror lapped up the milk. When the last drop was gone, Akwar the Orc Sorceror burst into laughter, and then Akwar the Orc Sorceror leapt into his lap and Akwar the Orc Sorceror started petting him.
An hour of petting and belly-scratching later, Akwar the Orc Sorceror realized that he had meant to put poison milk in the saucer but had just put regular milk in it instead.
The next day, Akwar remembered that he was an orc sorceror, and that meant he could do sorcery. So, Akwar the Orc Sorceror cast a spell on Akwar the Orc Sorceror. It turned Akwar the Orc Sorceror into an orc sorceror.
"Thanks!" said Akwar the Orc Sorceror. "I'd been trying to tell my brother for weeks that I accidentally turned myself into a cat and turned his cat into an orc sorceror. But I got distracted by chasing the catnip mouse and drinking milk and getting belly scratches."
"Meow," said Akwar the Orc Sorceror.
"Oh, right. I should probably turn you back into a cat. Poof! You're a cat again!"
And so when Cat came back, Akwar the Orc Sorceror was once again an orc sorceror, and Akwar the Orc Sorceror was once again a cat.
"Hello, Cat," Akwar the Orc Sorceror said. "How did the orc sorcery go?"
"Woof," said Cat. "Woof woof."
"Meow," said Akwar the Orc Sorceror.
"Woof! Woof!" Cat said, and he started chasing Akwar the Orc Sorceror around the room.
Meanwhile, in a faraway land, an orc sorceror named Dog was petting his dog, Cat the Orc Sorceror.
"I'm glad you're better now, Cat the Orc Sorceror," Dog said. "That orc sorceror did a really good job. He's a much better orc sorceror than I am."
"Yeah, you didn't pay him nearly enough," Cat the Orc Sorceror replied. Then he went off to bury a bone.


RE: Writing and Semicolons Thread - Dragon Fogel - 04-08-2012

Unicorns

Great Lord Sparklesmith and Gordon were unicorns. Great Lord Sparklesmith was a loose cannon cop on the edge, while Gordon was his wisecracking wacky roommate with a mysterious past.
One day, Great Lord Sparklesmith and Gordon ran out of milk, so they decided to go to Dr. President's grocery store to buy some more. But when they arrived, they found that there was only skim milk left, and of course Gordon's magical powers could only be fueled by 2% milk.
They asked Dr. President (who was also a unicorn) what had happened to the 2% milk. He explained that the evil sorceror Nero Shaken'Bake (who was, of course, also a unicorn) had just bought up all the 2% milk to use in an evil ritual or possibly to make ten thousand pancakes, which would explain why he had also bought up all the flour and sugar and maple syrup.

"We can't allow Nero Shaken'Bake to make that many pancakes!" Great Lord Sparklesmith declared. "I'm going to break that bastard's neck and get our milk back!"
"But wait!" Gordon interjected. "What if it's just an evil ritual? Then we have to let it succeed so we can have a climactic battle with the demon he's summoning or whatever. It's in the rules."
"Maybe you play by the rules, but I'm a loose cannon cop on the edge. That means I beat the bad guy up a lot and then his evil ritual succeeds. Now come on, if we get there early maybe we can get some free pancakes out of that bastard before I start shooting him."
"I guess you could say you'll leave him battered," Gordon said, and everyone in the store laughed, including the unicorns who couldn't hear him. (Because, of course, everyone in the store was a unicorn.)

But suddenly, there was a dramatic musical chord, and The Ancient And Wise Baron Proudmane stepped out. He was also a unicorn, and he had a top hat and a monocle and an evil mustache.
"Not so fast, Great Lord Sparklemane and Gordon!" he announced. "I can't allow you to interfere with Nero Shaken'Bake's plans. Not because I have any association with him, but because I cannot allow you to go on any adventures until you've beaten up my henchmen and eluded me in a high-speed car chase!"
As soon as he finished speaking, a half dozen henchmen who were also unicorns jumped out of the aisles.
"Damn! He's got us there," Gordon said. "What do we do, Great Lord Sparklemane?"
"We do what any loose cannon cop on the edge and his wisecracking wacky roommate with a mysterious past would do, of course," Great Lord Sparklemane said. "We fight crime."
And then Great Lord Sparklemane punched out several henchmen, while Gordon defeated the rest of them with wisecracks and wacky antics, like dropping an entire shelf of groceries on them or making two of them charge into each other and knock each other out. Dr. President was upset that his store was being messed up, but he was too busy laughing at Gordon's hilarious antics to complain.
"Curses!" exclaimed The Ancient And Wise Baron Proudmane as his henchmen fell one-by-one. "You've defeated my henchmen! Now I'll have to pursue you in a high-speed car chase!"
"Not if we pursue you first!" Great Lord Sparklemane shouted.
"Wait, aren't we the guys who have somewhere to go? I think it makes more sense if he's chasing us and we have to shake him off," Gordon replied.
"Hmm. But he's at a disadvantage. He should be fleeing and we should be trying to chase him down for information," Great Lord Sparklemane observed.
"This is a difficult problem to resolve," Dr. President said. "I think we'll have to take this to Unicorn Court."

Judge Galacticamaru, who was a unicorn, looked over the court.
"Can somebody explain this dispute to me again?" he asked.
"I will, Your Honor," said Sheinalica, who was Great Lord Sparklesmith and Gordon's attractive and intelligent lawyer, and also a unicorn. "My clients claim that they should be pursuing The Ancient And Wise Baron Proudmane in a high-speed car chase, while the opposing side claimas that The Ancient And Wise Baron Proudmane should be pursuing my clients."
"Uh, actually," Gordon said, raising a hoof, "I agree with the other guy. I think he should be chasing us."
"Objection!" shouted Dr. Commissioner James Gordon, who was The Ancient And Wise Baron Proudmane's no-nonsense lawyer who got results, and also a unicorn. "That statement wasn't wacky at all, and is therefore at odds with Gordon's established character."
"Objection sustained," said Judge Galacticamaru. Then he paused. "Wait a minute, how is this a legal dispute at all?"
Everyone in the courtroom looked at each other for a few moments and then started mumbling.
"Right, that's it. I declare the whole lot of you guilty of wasting my time! Everyone in this courtroom is sentenced to life in prison!"

Five minutes later, everyone was sitting in a jail cell.
"Well, this sure is a wacky and zany outcome!" Gordon said. Everyone laughed.
"Oh, shut up," Judge Galacticamaru replied. "Why didn't anyone remind me that I was in the courtroom?"
"I tried, but you wouldn't let me!" Gordon said. "You kept telling me that whatever I said couldn't possibly be important."
"You're all missing the two most important things here," Great Lord Sparklemane said. "The first is that we haven't had any high-speed car chases at all today. The second is that we're not going to be able to get any pancakes in here!"
"Damn," Gordon said. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles."
Everyone laughed, even though Gordon's joke didn't have anything to do with cookies.

Meanwhile, Nero Shaken'Bake had summoned the evil and powerful demon Prince Makebelieve, who was also a unicorn but also a demon, and had made ten thousand pancakes.
"Where is everyone?" Nero Shaken'Bake grumbled. "I thought for sure they'd come over when they heard I had ten thousand pancakes!"
"Oh well, more for us," Prince Makebelieve said. "Could you pass the maple syrup?"
"Sure thing," said Nero Shaken'Bake's neighbor, Shaniqua Melona Ledasha Shakira Niltharix. "By the way, has anyone told you you're cute?"
"No," Prince Makebelieve replied, "but they've told me I"m a fearsome monster who devours souls. Although honestly, these pancakes are much more delicious than souls. Maybe I should change my diet."


RE: Writing and Semicolons Thread - Dragon Fogel - 04-10-2012

Pirates

Two Bit Fred and Lucy McLucy were pirates. They worked at the local library.
One day, Blind George came into the library. He was also a pirate.
"Yarr!" Blind George said to Lucy McLucy. "Where ye be keepin' the bottles o' rum, matey?"
"Blind George, ye blind fool!" Lucy McLucy shouted back at him. "This be the library! If it's rum ye want, ye should go to the tavern!"
"Oh," said Blind George. He held a hand to his chin thoughtfully, then screamed in pain because it was his hook hand. Two Bit Fred quickly grabbed a bandage from the first aid kit and put it on Blind George's chin.
"Blind George, ye need to be more careful!" Two Bit Fred said. "Haven't we been tellin' ye for weeks ye need a seein'-eye parrot?"
"Bah! I can see just fine, matey! They don't call me Blind George for nothin'!" Blind George said to a bookshelf.
"Blind George, do ye even know what the word blind means?" Lucy McLucy asked, frustrated.
"Er... well, no, not as such," Blind George replied.
"I'll show ye what it means, ya great big oaf!" Two Bit Fred shouted, lugging a heavy dictionary over. "It says it right here in this dictionary!"
Suddenly, there was a burst of cannon fire and the library wall came crashing down. There was a pirate ship on the other side of the wall.
"It's John Maritime, the most notorious pirate on the Seven Seas!" Two Bit Fred gasped.
"And he's shellin' our library with heavy artillery!" Lucy McLucy shouted.
"Hand over that dictionary, mateys!" shouted John Maritime, the most notorious pirate on the Seven Seas. "Or I'll make ye all walk the plank!"
"But we be on land!" Lucy McLucy said. "How did ye get that thar ship of yers all the way this far inland, matey?"
"That be none of yer business, landlubbers!" John Maritime snarled. "I've come for the dictionary!"
"Why do ye want it?" Two Bit Fred shouted at him.
"So I can find out what 'notorious' means! And then I'll know what to say when they call me the most notorious pirate on the Seven Seas!" John Maritime replied. "And 'artillery', too. That's a new word on me."
"Get yer own dictionary, ye scurvy knave!" Blind George shouted at a stuffed moose head. "I'm about to find out what 'blind' means!"
"Curse ye, Blind George!" John Maritime screamed. "Now I've got to look up 'scurvy' and 'knave', too! Salty Chuck, grab that book before they give me any other hard words!"
"Aye aye, Cap'n!" said John Maritime's first mate, Salty Chuck, with a hearty salute. He leapt off the pirate ship and walked around the library, then knocked on the front door.
"Two Bit Fred, would ya see who that is at the door?" Lucy McLucy asked.
"Aye aye!" Two Bit Fred said. He ran to the door and opened it, finding Salty Chuck.
"Good day, matey!" Salty Chuck said with a smile.
"Arr! I be sorry, me hearty, but we be busy at the moment. Perhaps ye could come back later?" Two Bit Fred asked.
"I just wanted to take out a book," Salty Chuck replied.
"Which book?" Two Bit Fred asked, suspiciously.
"Why, the dictionary!" Salty Chuck said eagerly.
"Tell him we don't let people sign out reference books!" Lucy McLucy shouted.
"Oh," Salty Chuck said, disappointed. He yelled out to the ship. "Cap'n! They won't let us sign out reference books!"
The cannons suddenly stopped firing.
"Curses!" John Maritime snarled. "Then I guess we've got no business here, Salty Chuck. Come on, it's back to the Seven Seas with us!"
"Where you can be the most notorious pirate, Cap'n?" Salty Chuck said, running through the library and jumping out the hole in the wall.
"Aye, matey! Even if I haven't the foggiest idea what that means."
And with that, John Maritime's ship sailed down the street.
"Well, that was an exciting adventure, wasn't it?" Blind George said to a chair. "And we all learned somethin' from it, too!"
"What's that we learned, Blind George?" Lucy McLucy asked, puzzled.
"We learned that the library doesn't sign out reference books!" he said, chuckling. "Well, see you later, me hearties!"
And then Blind George walked into a wall and passed out.


RE: Writing and Semicolons Thread - Solaris - 09-10-2012

Seedy wrote a thing and I wrote something based on that thing.


RE: Writing and Semicolons Thread - SleepingOrange - 02-26-2016

A D&D campaign I'll be playing in will be starting soon, and I thought it would be fun to do some writing as my character from it as a role-playing exercise. It turns out it was, but it did manifest as the unholy union of serious game bullshit nerdery and high-grade Discourse™. I may have to do more as this character in the future; I enjoy him and his stilted pseudoacademic tone.

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RE: Writing and Semicolons Thread - ICan'tGiveCredit - 02-27-2016

this thred offends me. what if i can't read, Wheat? What; if; i; abuse; semi;colons; wantonly;