"Seriously brain, what the hell?" A Thread For Weird Dreams and Nightmares

Hoo boy this one was a hell of a romp, it's deathy and violent in places fair warning

Bump into my friend as he's heading up into his apartment; ask if I can grab dinner with them if I nip down the street and grab something. He's like sure, and I go a couple places down to a souvlaki place where the owner grizzles that everyone comes in at the last minute before the store closes. I check the shop's opening hours on the glass door, see it's 8.30, and apologise and head on up the street.

It's dark, and a car (driving on the wrong side of the road for New Zealand, I just realised) with a couple hollering guys pulls up and slows down as it passes me. I understandably freak out and look for the nearest place with people, which is a KFC. I walk briskly in that direction as someone drunkenly extricates themselves from the back of the stationary car, and four dudes sitting outside KFC at a picnic table ask me what's going on. I pointed the drunk fuckass out; they ask if they should hurt him and I say they shouldn't but yeah totally go for it. Between his drunken grasping in my direction and a bit of tag-teaming, he trips and cracks his head on the concrete. He gets up again, this time I'm feeling bolder and grab his wrist and twist, hearing a bunch of snapping. A couple more hits and he's down.

The KFC customers are checking I'm alright when someone points out the rather large pool of blood coming from the face-down drunkard's head region. I'm thinking "oh fuck would we get assault charges if it was self-defense" but call the police anyway. I'm panicking and was pretty sure I was on Riccarton Road but the dispatch dude says that's probably wrong and I see a street sign. While I'm talking, I see a car (in the opposite direction, but the same side of the street as the car of hecklers) runs into the body and drags it up the street, leaving a trail of blood. I have one of those mental "fuck is this a dream" checks which I fail miserably; I'm still pretty convinced this is all happening, as I relay updated events down the phone. As I'm on said phone, a whole goddamn tram/streetcar rounds the corner, slips on the blood, and derails with a crash into the KFC carpark where we were all standing.

Around this point, paramedics show up and a cop steps out of a car and starts asking people in the crowd for me. I go with him out of the way a bit, answer questions, start heading toward this house with a rundown yard where I'm suddenly very aware that we've been followed by this weird nuclear family of mom and dad and pigtailed daughter all made out of this wet, red-orange clay. They tell me to get in a car, because out by the front gate of the property is the asshole who got run over, no worse for wear and wielding a weird tube-gun thing that fires a missile like a pointy bowling pin at the house.

Spy-family goes "fuckshit" and out of nowhere has a car which we're told to pile into, mostly because Terminator back there has tossed some kind of giant, white, button-battery shaped amplifier near the house. The cop (who I think got visually templated by my brain with the security guard guy from Housebound, huh) is struggling to get into the front seat of the vehicle so these cold-hearted putty bastards just drive off without him. I have some vague ethical qualms about this which are only further compounded when the clay girl's explanation makes it sound like we're escaping a nuclear bomb radius. We have one close shave where Drunk Car Asshole pops up in the path of our escape vehicle and fires one of his missiles at it, but it follows the curvature of the car and doesn't actually impact.

Then some intermediary shit happens and I can't fucking remember it; last point on this fucked up ride I recall before waking up was being back home again, talking to my sister, who mentions a "Jason Common-Last-Name" has been pestering them all on Skype for ages.

Brain what the actual fuck