Oh God Why: Day Three: IT'S LOOOOOOSE (18/30)

Boop doop bamurder

Vote: ICGC

Crawl out of Love-tainted Neutermech wreckage: Granola

Hey guys, did I miss anything?

Why would you ever lynch dolphins? That would be the easy way out for them! Nay, they could be useful for us, protecting us from further neutermechness.

Vote: CREDIT

welp this is what i get for a bunp on D3

lynch credit for lack of credit

Dolphins are a species I do trade with often.

Vote: Credit

is

this a speedlynch

...

well that's nice

Huh? What happened? How long have I been unconcious?

I don't think I'm up to doing any gumshoeing or much of anything.

...

okay gumshoe I'll bite this sounds like a jolly good lark you've got going what's the help you be a-needing

plus hey hot pink cursive that's some class you've got going there, what's not to like

Well anything's better than watching a completely-unsuspicious speedwagon on ICGC.

I'll be shod in gum. What needs helping?

I'm a shoe-in!

*BAHAHAHA*

*grunts*

*GRUNTS*

URAAAAAAGHHHHH



KILL: TEHPILOT

*grunts*

Oh yes, that was Granolaman.

*points to Granolaman* that guy right over there.

Who me? The only crime I've committed is loving Mother Nature too much!

die credit die

Who, me? No, I'm totally innocent! Granola's the one trying to kill Credit, not me.

vote: Credit

That doesn't look right

Detective, you need to get your shit straight

(unless voting for dolphins mixes up all the votes somehow??? See, what did I tell you guys about the dolphins)

...yeah since when were we ever gonna let a daykill stop us doing anything?

So yes, dear gumshoe, you're looking for Mr. Granolakins over there. He's an absolute meanie who did some nasty things to our doggies yesterday!

Also I can't help but notice that those votals are potentially a tad askew of reality for some entirely unknown and mildly disconcerting reason. I might put together a more legitimate set for reference's sake in a moment.

What?! You guys are turning on me? After all the adventures we've had together? What proof do you even have that I'm a baddie?

ooooooh see look at these:

Given a population size of 18 and, assuming no role fuckery, prove that the votals read the following:

ICan'tGiveCredit - 6 - (Garuru, Pharas, Garuru again, Schazer, ProfessorLizzard, TehPilot, LegendaryQ, Garuru again, good grief Garuru you sure hold a grudge)
Dolphins - 1 - (ICan'tGiveCredit)

Abstaining - 13 - (beruru, THE ABOMINATION, Airey, Boogeyman, ParadoxGamer, seedy, anacreon, SleepingOrange, btp, Sruixan, texcat)

With 18 alive, it takes 10 to lynch. There is no soft lynch, so currently nobody would be lynched.

now look at wheat's votals

aaaaaand back to mine

yeah this looks like jolly good voting redirection malarkey to me

(though hmmmmmm what's the betting bears is lynchable today... ... ... ... ... ...)

also granola would you like me to make a list

I could do that if you like

oh blergh that took me too long to twig

brb getting on the phone about my wallet again

Maybe Garuru repeating his vote is subtracting from the others?

Why can't we just get along?

SpoilerShow

granola:

SpoilerShow

#568 - threats to pilfer poor orphaned hounds
#572 - again, disregard for murderdog ownership laws
#573 - "I am strictly nonviolent except when it comes to dogs" - remember this one
#578 - claims of non-existent outdoor space, threats to neuter despite no proof of necessary training experience or relevant qualifications, hollow promotion against the "Truth In Advertising" policy
#581 - asseverations concerning the absence of paperwork despite its absolute unwaverable necessity by law, 'less trees' rather than the grammatically correct 'fewer trees', imposition of a backwards bartering economy ripe for corruption
#587 - "No man could visit the Ranch and survive!"; also, insinuating the insanity of a fine and upstanding community member
#590 - distribution of misleading information, quite likely for personal gain
#594 - again, misleading and in this particular instance deliberately false information, intended to belittle aforementioned community treasure
#596 - repeated mistreatment and insult of community icon
#600 - disregard for the concerns of murderdog owners, awkwardly brushed aside
#604 - impersonating a charitable organisation
#608 - pictographic evidence detailing the MURDER of the community member with whom the previous interactions had taken place; note #573
#615 - the entirety of this frankly abominable missive
#618 - hostile language, foreboding and menacing, threat of illegal neutering, references to fake charity
#653 - numerous acts of violence and aggression, multiple illegal neuterings, kidnapping, sinister remarks: "You fools! No one can stop me from achieving my ImMurdertality! No one!"
#703 - possession of weapons of mass destruction, manslaughter (even if the victim was malevolent, and the deed potentially involuntary)
#707 - further threats of murder
#805 - backtracking, eating of words, panicking; all sure signs of admittance to wrongdoing

I really ought to go to bed.

Ninja: Credit, no. Wallets.