Frozen Over

You recall that it was Hobbes who had the theory that Man's default nature is to be Beastly, Brutish, Unrelentingly cruel in the name of survival. And part of you has begun to believe him. You've lived a life of Daring, you'd say. People will go through so much... just for so little. Ready to tear each other down just for the chance to be the first to get the goods.

In your line of work, you often wonder, why? Its not your place to calm those quarrels, you simply are to give the victor their spoils. Does that make you a bad person? Does that make you an Enabler? The Harbinger of such ruthless wars and destruction? If it is in your nature to do what you must do, should you be at fault for the consequences of something you cannot control? Or are you doomed to futility in struggling against what you always knew what you were meant to be?

Why, you sometimes ask yourself? Why do people fight? Why do people brutalize? The answer is always with you, in the back of your mind.

Ice Cream.



You are the Sole Owner of an Ice Cream Truck in the small city of Blightburg. You always knew you were born to be an Ice Cream Salesman, you had a knack for any kind of Frosty Treat under the sun, and your truck shows it too!

It can get pretty hairy out there! At the sound of your trucks chime, tons of children will come running forward, fighting and pushing to the front with their parents money- not always gained with permission- to try and get your Ice Cream. And why wouldn't they? After all, your truck boasts Any Flavor of Ice Cream Imaginable. Sometimes its a hard promise to keep, as people like to test you. Most often it'll be the usual suspects, like Chocolate, or Strawberry, but sometimes people ask for absurd flavors like "Cheese and Radish" or "Toothpaste and Orange Juice."

You deliver the exact order every time. You've become quite a legend in the community! People often ask to see inside your truck to see how its done, but you could never let them. You value your personal space after all! You sleep here as well- and a man's home is his castle! Someone said that, but you couldn't care who.

Your just starting out your shift for the day, and you can already tell its going to be a great shift! Your ready to bid yourself good wishes, but all good wishes are mil of they don't have a name attached to them.

What is your name, anyways?

Eric
Fred (Short for Frediano) Caulfield

It's clearly Gregory Tudor (played by Clint Howard)

Thats right! Your name is Gregory Caulfield but you prefer to just go by Greg sometimes. You get the strange feeling that the presence of Clint Howard lives within you, but... no, thats ridiculous.

You're 26, you live in your Ice Cream Truck, and you believe that you were destined for this moment! The moment of serving delicious frozen delectably delicious treats to children.



Look! Here comes one now! The Unremarkable Twerp comes bouncing up to the window of your truck, asking if you have any Tiger Tail flavored ice cream. Of course, its not made of real tigers, its a name for orange flavored ice cream with stripes of black licorice flavor in them. Unfortunately, you don't seem to have any in your truck right now.

What do you do?

Tell the Twerp that he's shit outta luck.

Retreat to your occult workspace to conjure the necessary product. Be sure to turn up the ice cream jingle to hide the sounds of you chanting.

Make do with what you have, and try to bullshit it out.
Marketing skills can make miracles happen.

Suggest a substitute of grapefruit ice cream with stripws of blackberry.

>Give him a handful of rocks instead.

> Kill the child so word doesn't get out that you don't have a flavor.

> Give him that pillow instead.

Open your hammerspace portal to the plane of icecream.

Tell the Twerp that he's shit outta luck.

NO! There has to be another way! There's got to be! Pity the day when you, GREGORY CAULFIELD, not give a customer what they want! This Unremarkable Twerp is going to go home with that Tiger Tail Ice Cream whether you like it or not!

Make do with what you have, and try to bullshit it out.
Marketing skills can make miracles happen.

Suggest a substitute of grapefruit ice cream with stripws of blackberry.

That would be a GREAT IDEA but... there's only one slight problem. Thats... not how you run things around here. You open your Freezer, filled to the brim with Ice and Frost and you don't actually HAVE any ice cream in stock. Not even a Pint of Vanilla. Thats not how you do things around here.

Retreat to your occult workspace to conjure the necessary product. Be sure to turn up the ice cream jingle to hide the sounds of you chanting.

You find this way of describing what you do awfully Reductive... but you could call it that you suppose. Nobody else would be able to understand after all. You tend to keep most of yourself to yourself, after all. You can't say you've had many good friends, and for good reason. If they found out this is what you did, well, thats the ballgame.





That should do it!



It feels as if a more proper introduction is in order.

Your name is Gregory Caulfield and you are a Sorcerer. Ever since you were a young child, you found out that you had the power of Frost Manipulation. And what comes with that is... being able to make any flavour or consistency of Ice Cream that your heart desires. It was your favorite trick as a child after all.

You enjoy the simpler things in life, such as long drives through the city at night, Paranormal TV Shows that get everything oh- oh so wrong, and trying to evade the Man. If they catch you, who knows what they might do to you to try and understand your powers.

You'd describe yourself as a man who's just as chill as your powers. You don't like getting into arguments or causing a lot of trouble. Your goal is- despite your less than normal self- to live a normal life as an Ice Cream Salesman. You don't have any other goals or aspirations for the future, and you enjoy it that way. Much like a cone, Life should be enjoyed In-The-Moment.

So now, here you are, Satiating the Unremarkable Twerp, happy that through your gift, you could provide for another Satisfied Customer.



And now, you're alone.

> Practice Magics.

>Place "Sold Out" sign.

>Angrily shout out the window that people don't eat enough ice-cream. Maybe if you all ate more chilly foods, global warming wouldn't be a problem!!!

> Consider decorating the inside of your truck - it's so stale in here! And while you're at it, check the outside too. Is it bright and snazzy enough to attract hordes of customers?

Make an Ice-Cream Snowman

> Look at your surroundings. Try to confirm that this is a good selling point, with happy children, trendy teenagers, mildly depressed adults searching for some sweeteness in their lives and NO suspiscious people in black suits, trenchcoats, fedora, shades or a combination of any of these clothing pieces.

Attract more customers by turning on the ice cream truck song to ear-shattering high levels. There's not much of a difference between a noise complaint and a new customer wanting some cool refreshing ice cream, right?

>Look over the notes you have taken so far in your never ending quest quest for The ULTIMATE ICE CREAM FLAVOR (*Thunder*)