Four Painful Years

Alright, you have some time to kill before Luca comes back to continue whatever it was she was here doing. Maybe she was drawing on your face? Nah, the nurse would have said something.
Anyway, hospital rooms like this usually have those tiny TVs. Flick it on and see if anything decent is on or if you made the news.

>Acquire wiggly flan powers like Kirby.

>Acquire wiggly flan powers like Kirby.

Show Content

SpoilerWithin the wiggle flan is not Kirby powers, but rather, the ability to detect Spaniards, Hispanics and... Filipinos. But, where could they be? Your senses cannot reach far enough to possibly... wait a second!

There, you can feel something through the fourth wall. No... it cannot possibly be true... could it be?

> Get the hot guy nurse's number. Keep the victory momentum going! Also try asking him how your situation is and when you can get out.

No problem! Before the nurse leaves with your empty plate, you lay the smooth moves on him. You vaguely liken his good looks to the sweetness of the pudding he brought you, which causes him to chuckle. The gate has been opened. With that, you go in for the kill and ask him for his number.

… Oh. He’s been with his husband for three years, and their daughter is just starting kindergarten. That’s adorable. Oh well, at least he said he was flattered! He hands you two tablets of name brand painkiller. You ask for him to activate the cable on your TV. He complies, urges you to call again if you need anything, then leaves.

You attempt to smother yourself with your spare pillow because you are such an idiot. Why did you do that!? People don’t come to work to get hit on by terminally ill girls with pudding breath, Julie, they come to work to WORK. Ugh!

Read the mood, you thirsty, THIRSTY mess of a woman!

Anyway, hospital rooms like this usually have those tiny TVs. Flick it on and see if anything decent is on or if you made the news.

You get over your embarrassment eventually and turn on the little swingy-arm TV that sticks out of the wall. They must’ve put you on stupid amounts of morphine or something… All this movement isn’t hurting you as much as you thought it would.

You flip through the channels until you hit the news.

NEWSCASTER: “-osvenor Storage & Warehouse, where part-time employee Julie B. Mitchells - age 21 - experienced a catastrophic mental breakdown, attempting to murder her coworkers before taking her own life.”

You choke.

JULIE: “WHAT!?”


NEWSCASTER: “Thirteen years ago young Julie was diagnosed with a tumorous growth that comprised one-seventh of the mass in her brain. Doctors estimated that by her late teens, the growth would increase to around three times its size, causing Julie unbearable pain and irreperable damage to her mental health. Under these conditions, Julie would have only lived to the age of twenty-five before succumbing to her illness.”

Oh thanks, Channel 4 News. Thanks for showing you all those sad old pictures of Dad and baby you. Thanks for only bothering to follow up once you heard that poor little Julie died. Thanks for misreporting your death on national television while you still have living family members LIKE ARE YOU FOR REAL RIGHT NOW?

NEWSCASTER: “Fast-forward to today, where the damage to Julie’s brain has finally taken its toll. In the hours before her breakdown, Coworkers describe erratic behavior, mood swings, emotional outbursts and contemplations of suicide.”

… Huh? But… But none of that is true. The guys would never say that kind of stuff, where are they getting all this bogus information?

LUCA: “She’d been dealing with it for so long, it was only a matter of time. With the way she was acting, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

…

MAXWELL: “She stopped taking her medication, I… I should’ve done something, but she insisted, know what I mean? I couldn’t just force her to take them, could I?”

TRENT: “Next thing we know, here she comes around the corner in the forklift just GUNNING it, right? She was headed straight for us, I couldn’t believe it… We got out of the way, she didn’t even slow down and… Boom, that was it.”

MUSTAFA: “...”
MUSTAFA: “I’m so sorry, Julie...”

… Wow. You… You are totally stunned. They lied about everything. They didn’t say anything about your neighbor, they made it sound like you were going crazy and… tried to kill them? How could they…?

You slump into your pillows, utterly betrayed. Your heart aches as you watch the rest of the news footage. They show a shot of the forks stuck in the concrete, but there’s no body pinned to it, not even a drop of blood or… whatever that man was made of. To the outside world it really looks like you just crashed the forklift into a wall for absolutely no reason... Like you’d gone insane.

Is that it? Was everything just a figment of your imagination, the fins, the birds, your neighbor? That must be it. You’ve finally lost whatever sanity you had left, and now you’re in the hospital in a coma after almost killing your friends. Or, maybe you did kill them, you’re just remembering them in your final moments. That explains why your injuries don't hurt... Nothing’s real anymore.

They said this would happen… You just thought you had more time.

You cry again, but this time you really feel like you deserve it. Your life’s been ruined time after time by your stupid malfunctioning brain, you’ll go out with a whimper if you damn well want to. It doesn’t matter now, but you try to dry your face with the bedsheets.

In doing so, your vision becomes clearer… and you see someone standing at the foot of your bed. Draped in alabaster, their arms are tucked behind their back, and a faint light shines in a halo around their head.

JULIE: “Sniff… Are… Are you… God?”























The figure hangs their head, disappointed.

???: “Oh sweet mercy, not another one...”

---

Achievement Unlocked: "Hard Landing" - Learned the truth the hard way. (50In)

>Yeah that's not God. Quick, apologize for saying the thing that apparently everyone this guys meets says so you can first your first impression!
And then ask who the heck is he if he's not God.

>Ask for his number. >:3
>But really, you're having a bit of a breakdown here, so he better have a godly explanation for the situation or you're going to break his godly ass with your godly broken leg.

"I'm sooooo sorry life is soooo hard for you that people constantly mistake you for God. Yeah, no-your life must be the absolute worst. Doesn't compare to my thrilling life of near death experiences and a fake death televised all over the news. Nothing but peaches and cream on my end!"
"In fact, I bet no one has even asked how you are doing today. Never mind my petty little questions, please tell me how your unfair bullshit life is treating you."

>"I just watched myself being framed as a negative female stereotype in an obituary. How's your day?"

>"Are you an angel then?"
>Why??? Why did this happen to me? Why? and How?!

-

JULIE: “Sniff… Huh?”

???: “Pardon my impertinence, associates of mine like to keep a running tally of how many times I’ve been divinely misattributed, operating under the false pretense that doing so will force me to reconsider my wardrobe...”
???: “But… I digress. Did you sleep well?”

JULIE: “I… I guess.”
JULIE: “I’m still not sure if I’m even really awake...”

???: “Mm. Waking up to news of your own death can do that to you.”
???: “Condolences about the scuffle with your neighbor, by the way... Had we the resources to rehabilitate his particularly… unique brand of substance abuse, he needn’t have been a casualty.”
???: “Of course, with that amount of improperly transfused troll blood in your system, what you’ve essentially done is sign your own death warrant...”

JULIE: “...”
JULIE: “Who are you...?”

Sitting up in your bed, you notice how incredibly short this person is. In fact, you think he might be shorter than you are! His accent is funny, too… a bit like the bird from that one lion movie, or the robot butler in that game you like. He’s pretty extravagantly dressed from what you can tell… the light’s making his silhouette all blurry.

???: “Oh, pestilence and botheration, where are my manners! Let’s do introductions now, shall we? Come, come...”

He beckons you toward the furthest wall. As he turns around you catch a glimpse of the source of that obnoxious light. Floating just behind the tiny man’s head is a silver disc about twice the size of a quarter. A luminescent cone shines outward from the bottom, following his movements.

JULIE: “Umm… I don’t know if you’ve noticed?”
JULIE: “But I’m in a hospital bed. With broken ribs. I kind of have to be here.”
JULIE: “Also I don’t know you and I’ve been having really bad luck with strangers lately, so, no thanks.”

???: “Don’t be silly, Miss Mitchells, you’re fully healed. Have been for days.”
???: “I hate to think where you’d be right now had one of your friends not first treated you with magic… Body cast, most likely.”

JULIE: “... Magic?”

You healed in only two days? Is that why your injuries don’t hurt? How is that possible? Magic? Is this guy for real?

… Then again…

JULIE: “What’s going on?”

???: “Hm?”

JULIE: “What’s happening to everybody? Why are there crazy invincible guys with super strength all of a sudden? Why are people trying to kill me? Why am I suddenly seeing all these weird animals and colors everywhere? Why are my friends lying about my death on TV, and why is there now some... pocket-friendly British guy standing here, in my hospital room, going on about ‘troll blood’ and ‘magic’ and other assorted Harry Potter hoo-ha?”
JULIE: “And how do you know my name!?”

???: “I know many things.”

JULIE: “Obviously!”

???: “It’s also written on the physician’s note at the foot of your bed.”

JULIE: “... Well whatever!”
JULIE: “You sound like you know what’s going down around town. Like you know literally everything about the shit I’ve been through. You might even know everything about me which is… creepy, but that’s my point!”
JULIE: “Tell me what you know, you creepy, creepy… creep… person!”

???: “If it's all the same to you, Miss Mitchells, I’d really rather not discuss the nature of your situation in public...”

JULIE: “Ex-QUEEZE me!?”

He leans back a bit. You’ve subconsciously crawled forward to the end of the mattress.

JULIE: “Oh, I'm soooo sorry, life must be soooo hard for you! I didn’t realize you needed a happy place to explain to an assault victim, one who was just framed as a negative female stereotype in a horsecrap obituary, why her life decided to go from zero to negative ten-billion in the span of a day! What a chore it must be that people constantly mistake you for God. Yeah, no- Your life must be the absolute worst. Doesn't compare to my thrilling life of near death experiences and a fake suicide televised all over the news! Nothing but peaches and cream on my end!"
"In fact, I bet no one’s even asked how you’re doing today. Never mind my petty little questions, PLEASE! Tell me how YOUR unfair bullshit life is treating you."

You’re standing up now, right in this asshole’s face. You’re close enough you’d be able to see the fear in his eyes, were an odd shadow not obscuring his features.

???: “You, Miss Mitchells…”

He grabs you by the shoulders. Oh shit.

???: “... You are going to be just fine!”

… Okaaay? Why does he sound so happy about that? He sounds like he’s about to get on a roller coaster. Or like he just got off one.

JULIE: “Wha?”

???: “Come, come! We have many things to deliberate upon!”
???: “Ha! And they said this was going to be difficult...”

He turns around again, but this time he walks straight through the wall. The tiny disc that was following him around floats to the floor and lands glowy side up. A moment later, a holographic down arrow appears, bobbing just above where your head would be were you to stand under it.

Just… Sigh...

What do you do?

>What else can you do but follow him? Stay here in the hospital where everything's gone crazy? No way.

Luca's stuff is still here meaning there is a fair chance she is in the hospital. You should wait for her, for all you know she is here to prevent strange small glowing men from whisking you away.

stay here because if you dont do anything nothing bad can happen

Luca's stuff is still here meaning there is a fair chance she is in the hospital. You should wait for her, for all you know she is here to prevent strange small glowing men from whisking you away.

You really doubt that Luca is here for your sake. She made her stance on your relationship pretty clear, what with the whole everything about you making her sick thing. No, best case scenario is she's here to reveal that by claiming you'd attacked them on company grounds Grosvenor now owes them settlement money or something, and she's here to split it with you out of common decency. Worst case scenario... Well you guess there is no worst case scenario, since you're already living inside one of those. "Effectively dead" just has to be one of the bottom ten cruddiest situations to be in.

... You briefly wonder why the hospital hasn't corrected this gross oversight, or Grosvenor for that matter. They had two whole days to set the story straight, the absolute morons...

Either way, you decide to stay in your room and wait for Luca rather than follow the glowing midget into his tiny pie plate. Better the devil you know, right?

---

LUCA: "You're still here?"

---

That was fast.

JULIE: "Of course I'm still here. I have six broken ribs."
JULIE: "... And according to this whiteboard, a fractured skull and severe whiplash."

LUCA: "Those notes are two days old. You're fine now."
LUCA: "I made sure of that."

JULIE: "... Huh?"

LUCA: "Shit, did he explain nothing to you?"

JULIE: "Which 'he'? The cute nurse? Or post-washing machine Rowan Atkinson with his hi-beams left on?"
JULIE: "'Cause if you know that guy, I've got some questions for you, but don't worry, I'll start with an easy one."
JULIE: "... What's with all the green stuff?"

LUCA: "What green stuff?"

JULIE: "Um..."

LUCA: "Oh. Right."
LUCA: "You had a visitor. Din't take it well when I told her you've been dead since Monday. So I sent her home."
LUCA: "She won't be coming back."

JULIE: "You know what, forget I asked, and I'll forget you said any of that."
JULIE: "... So there's still people out there that want me dead? And you're, like... protecting me?"

LUCA: "Yeah."
LUCA: "Have been since I moved into your floor."
LUCA: "S'kinda the whole reason I'm down here."

JULIE: "... Really?"
JULIE: "Thanks, I guess."

LUCA: "Whatever. A job's a job."
LUCA: "Client's payin' me fat bags to make sure you don't up and die."

JULIE: "Well... Why are these people hunting me? And why are there people protecting me? Is there anything I can do to stop it?"

LUCA: "The way you are now? Not a chance in Hell."
LUCA: "That's why he's here. That's why any of 'em are here. To give you a choice."
LUCA: "So how 'bout you make my job, keeping you alive, that much easier, an' take your stupid questions to the people who are tryin'a help you out?"

JULIE: "Wow, holy mackerel, FINE! Didn't realize it was such a sore god damn subject, Luqashai!"

LUCA: "Try me, Julian, you'd be pissed too if you had to babysit a grown-ass woman for an entire year of your life."

JULIE: "Wh-! How did you...!?"

LUCA: "Go find Mister 'Atkinson' and find the fuck out yourself."

---

Achievement Unlocked: "A Luca-rative Conversation" - Stuck around to gain information (what little there was) from Luca. (50In)

---

Four Painful Years is now mirrored on the MSPFA site!

>Stay out of spite, like, really, let's stay.
>Ask why she looks like she hate us so much and why she needs to babysit us, I mean, who would pay to people defend you? Magical people, I mean.
>And kinda why she did hide her name as Luqashai.

>Does the weird deity person notice Luca's presence? Any reaction at all?

Agitating Luca for answers she won't give seems like a waste in time. Better to just see where this fever dream goes next and step on the hover circle disc thing.

Remember to thank Luca before you go. Yeah, she is being a pill about it but she is still helping you out. She deserves a token amount of appreciation.

>Who would pay for people to defend you?
>And why she did hide her name?

JULIE: "Honestly, I’m real tempted to just spend the rest of my life in this hospital if this is what your ‘protection’ is gonna be like."

LUCA: "Cool. So ‘stead of facing adversity your plan is to throw a shitfit and hide behind civilians. What happens after I die and no one’s around to get between you and a pointy stick, huh? Gonna move onto the next place, get some more innocent people killed? Is that what you want?”

JULIE: "Of course not! I just can’t wrap my head around how much of a gigantic bitch you’re being about literally everything!"
JULIE: "Can you at least tell me who’s paying you to keep me alive? And why?"

LUCA: "That’s classified, so nun’ya business.”

JULIE: "... It’s none of my business to know why I’ve got price tags growing out of my ass!?"

LUCA: "You know who’s cleared to release that info?”

---

Luca jabs her thumb at the cheerily waving glowy man as he leans halfway through the wall.

---

LUCA: "That guy.”

JULIE: "Well, I don’t trust him!"

LUCA: "Why not.”

JULIE: "He’s sketchy!"

LUCA: "He’s offering you a saltwater taffy.”

---

You look back. He’s nodding in agreement with Luca, putting one in his mouth and dangling another between his fingers.

---

JULIE: "Is that supposed to entice me?"

LUCA: "Are you enticed?”

JULIE: "... A little."

LUCA: "Then yeah.”
LUCA: "Look… You want me to chill out? Fine. This is me being chill.”
LUCA: "March your ass over to that holodisk and check out what’s on offer. At the end of the day, you can always choose the dumbass option and strike out on your own. Whatever, you do you. But if you stick around much longer, then the bastards hunting you are gonna catch wise to Grosvenor’s diversion and move right back in, and it’s gonna be less stressful for everyone involved if you just suck it up and cooperate.”
LUCA: "’Cuz truth is, ain’t just your life on the line here.”
LUCA: “And I’m not s’posed to tell you that, so zip it, a’ight?”

JULIE: "... Okay. I mean, if it’s that important I guess I should follow through."
JULIE: "But I have one last question before I go anywhere.”

LUCA: “Sigh...”

JULIE: "Why hide your full name?”

LUCA: “Uh… I didn’t?”

JULIE: “But you call yourself ‘Luca’.”

LUCA: “And?”

JULIE: “Isn’t that like, so people don’t find out your identity while you’re out fighting things?”

LUCA: “It’d be one hell of a shitty alias.”
LUCA: “Luca’s just easier to say. I say the full thing when a client’s involved, or I’m being formal, or whatever.”

JULIE: “That kinda sucks.”
JULIE: “Luqashai’s a really pretty name!”

LUCA: “...”

JULIE: “I, uh… I guess I’ll get going.”
JULIE: “... I know we’re not really friends, or acquaintances even, and you’ve kind of made it clear that you’re only looking out for me ‘cause someone else told you to do it.”
JULIE: “But even so… Thanks for being there. I’ll try to make it up to you someday. Promise.”

LUCA: “It’s fine.”
LUCA: “Now get outta my sight.”

---

You turn towards the holodisk and take a deep breath.

Saltwater taffies are the bomb. Be enticed.

>i don't trust the small tiny men with the saltwater taffies
>follow him due the saltwater taffies and not because you like him.

Hope that you don't get the teleporting equivalent of jet lag or car sickness.

Be enticed.

Yeah. The jig is up. Any time sweets are involved you just can't help but let down your defenses.

Besides, if Luca trusts him, that's good enough for you. At least she has something of a handle on this bizarre parallel world you've stumbled onto. That, and it's apparently in her best interests that you remain alive... You really wish you knew why, though. Who could be that invested in your safety? How could you possibly be that important?

According to Luca, the answer lies on the other end of this tiny metal disk.

...

JULIE: "... So, how long does this usually ta- "

>MOTION SICKNESS TIME!

>MOTION SICKNESS TIME!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

>MOTION SICKNESS TIME!

Oh no you don't. Puking your guts out makes for a terrible first impression. 

>Fight the oncoming wave of nausea