[YOU]: [FORTUNA] Fan Adventure

> Top hat. We must be the most dapper of robots.

> Give them this:

> Majority vote: Fez

There we go! A Fez is much better than that douchey hat. Now where's the button to call Hermes...


Oh! Looks like there's no need to call him. Yes, finished.


...That's an odd thing for Hermes to ask. Not like designing a character has ever been that important to a Fortuna game... I don't like that cheeky grin.

Poseidon and Nike

> SCREAM. YOU KNEW FORTUNA WAS ONE OF THOSE DEMON GAMES THAT SUCKED THE PLAYER'S SOUL IN TO. YOU KNEEEEEW IT. Wait till you tell the guys on the foru- oooooh right, this is your life now.

> Fumble over your words as you try to tell Hermes your playstyle.

> You experimented a lot. You weren't pure good, but not evil, you were a bit of a chaotic neutral. You may or may not have killed a few AI gods in your time, and at least blew up the universe accidentally twice.

> You had a few patrons, but Poseidon, Somnus, and Helios were your home boys.

> You were always my favourite patron, Hermes. wink

> You've also been a bit of a Judas in your time... But you always felt way too bad to do anything really terrible to the AIs. They were all so great!

UH OH!! It's like the Matrix, but in real life! (And also in Fortunaverse.)

Lets say Choo liked to speedrun, but wasn't very good at it and always ended up playing the game normally to the end (to their frustration).

Patrons are Hermes (of course) and Nike.

>Wait, I've been SUCKED into the game??? As in, gone from player land???

(Oh no, we're just a copy of course. Obviously. Real us is watching his fav NoTuber and all that. Right? ...Right?)

>To answer your question, uh... I usually had Helios and Athena. 'Cept for that one time I had Eris, but who hasn't had Eris at some point tbh.

> Hermes and Somnus

>You usually took way too many robots on your ship. Mercury and Somnus were your true bros.

> Hades and Hecate

> Smile and say "What do you think my play style was?"

> Thanatos and Helios, but in a pacifist, passive-aggressive way.

> Well obviously I'd choose only the most attractive of robots. *Suggestive winking intensifies.*

>Obviously our patrons were [ERIS] and [ERIS].

That's weird, I cant seem to say [ERIS], how will we ever tell hermes our patrons were [ERIS] and [ERIS]

> SCREAM. YOU KNEW FORTUNA WAS ONE OF THOSE DEMON GAMES THAT SUCKED THE PLAYER'S SOUL IN TO. YOU KNEEEEEW IT. Wait till you tell the guys on the foru- oooooh right, this is your life now.

>Wait, I've been SUCKED into the game??? As in, gone from player land???

This is so messed up. The game SUCKED YOU IN?? As in, it stole your SOUL? This is crazy! You want to SCREAM but you don't as there seems to be no one around and you'll probably just end up embarrassing yourself. You try to collect your wits and just focus on Hermes' questions.

> Fumble over your words as you try to tell Hermes your playstyle.
> You experimented a lot. You weren't pure good, but not evil, you were a bit of a chaotic neutral. You may or may not have killed a few AI gods in your time, and at least blew up the universe accidentally twice.

Lets say Choo liked to speedrun, but wasn't very good at it and always ended up playing the game normally to the end (to their frustration).

You briefly consider including that you've killed a few of the AIs for fun, but given that Hermes is an AI, you decide to keep that little tidbit to yourself for now.

> You were always my favourite patron, Hermes. wink

> Well obviously I'd choose only the most attractive of robots. *Suggestive winking intensifies.*

You try to wink but it just looks like you're blinking.

> Drench the backdrop grass in flat cola

> "Is this the real me, really here in Realtuna?" or something along those lines.

> Soooooo like....how do you get your soul back in to your body, do you need to get to Fortuna to make a wish or are you really stuck in here forever?

> Oh! You remembered that there should be other players here too! Ask Hermes if he knows about the other players, can you go hang with them and cry about this situation or something?

>try summoning a shaken fizzy pop can
>open it at Hermes with a wink
>"all the important powers? No givesy backsies

> Cry at realizing the cruel irony of being given soda powers even though you can never drink soda again.

>So how do I escape the game? I can break the fourth wall, that's a start at least!

> Well where are you, and how do you meet other beings?

e: Just realized we dodged a bullet when we scrapped the corn design.

e: Just realized we dodged a bullet when we scrapped the corn design.

Yeah we would have gotten a really corny power.

People would never stop making puns. All would be horrible.

>Ask about stupidest mistake that other Player AIs make. Get a sense of the pitalls in this situation.

>Ask about the current player.

> Cry at realizing the cruel irony of being given soda powers even though you can never drink soda again.

> Realize that, as a robot, you can't actually cry.

> Cry tears of soda.

> Through your tears mumble quiet threats about drowning the universe with your grape flavored fury.