The Grand Tweet II: Finished

Conway's burning skull rolled on the ground before settling to a stop.

"Okay. Great.


Now what?"

Chief Forest Fire Dracula glared at Loquacious as he weeped for his burning hat.
"Only you can prevent forest fires."
Loquacious looked up.

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SpoilerOKAY FIVE MINUTES LEFT I AM SORRY I THINK I AM GOING TO HAVE TO ELIMINATE TIMES. DEATHPOSTS PEOPLE WE ARE GOING TO THE FINAL ROUND.

"...Hup!"
Conway tried again.
"HUP!"

Once more.

"HUP!"

Operation Hopping Skull was a fail... wait, was that...?

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SpoilerAWW POOR POET :<

a branch fell on him,
burning, burning
engulfing
so much pain

(the branch was one
of a willow)

It is!
"ZOMBPIRE!"

Zombpire reached down to pick up the skull of his new friend.

Zombpire didn't know his own strength.

Crush.

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SpoilerRUNNING LATE DAMNIT

pain fire fire fire
fire pain fire fire
fire fire pain fire
fire fire fire pain

pain
fire
a sigh
and
relief

he's off,
off to go to a lake,
to go sit underneath a willow,

and fish.

Conway also died.

Again technically.

HE WOULD WORK SOMETHING OUT DAMMIT

Rannus' arm hugged Loquacious as best as he could.
He knew the importance of a hat.

“Um.” The Impatient froze Loquacious and wandered off.

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SpoilerTen minute break.

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SpoilerGASPE
TOO MUCH SUSPENSE

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SpoilerOKAY HERE WE GO. THE BIG FINALE

Suddenly the wizard became unfrozen somehow. He was free to wander the Impatient’s Lair (still under construction) of his own volition.

Loquacious was confused.
Was he free now?
But what of the lives lost along the way?
And most importantly, what of his hat?

"Okay so last time there weren't five people whose death I was partially responsible for down here. Let's do this fast."

Loquacious looked down at Rannus' arm sadly.
"I need a new hat."
But a new wizard's hat could not simply be purchased. It had to be earned.

Wait shit. Last time he had a body to go to. A skinless body, but it did him well. Surely he'd be able to find something...

Loquacious entered the next room. There was no opposite wall. The floor lead into space.
How could he earn a new hat here?

Negative

Space.

Fucking
again.

No body.


Fitting.

Very fitting.

Suddenly, Loquacious heard a low whisper.
"Dammit, I wasn't ready for this. What am I supposed to do, just send him home?"

NegaConway left the emptiness.
Hold on a minute.

Five NegaHarpoons appeared next to him immediately.

Excellent.

The whispering stopped. Loquacious walked to where the wall broke off and peered into the next room.
A NegaHarpoon flew at him. Uh-oh.

Alright, wizard! I've never lost before in my life! Let's not break this streak, okay?
NegaConway continued to throw NegaHarpoons.

Loquacious ran. What could he do? All he had was his body, and a crystal mage's arm.
Without his hat, he had nothing.

Okay this wasn't doing much. It would be better if the NegaHarpoons weren't missing.
NegaConway took five or six of them to try and combine

It was hopeless. One hatless wizard and one arm against a god, controlled by a dead man's spirit.
How could he survive, let alone win?