Cooks and Crooks

Your name is Shirley Sullivan, and you're incredibly hungry. You don't have a lot of ingredients left to cook with in your sorry space of a cupboard, but hey it's not like you're not made of money. In fact, you've completely run out of money which would be concerning if you weren't distracted by your stomach trying to eat itself.





Seriously. You may be putting on a calm face, but you're downright starving. You're not sure if you've got the patience to cook something for long though, so whatever it is, you gotta make it quick.

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Ingredients3 Mud Phoenix Eggs
20 Ounces of Deathly Soy Sauce
5 Asmodai Chili Peppers
3 Ounces of Sacrilegious Salt
1 Can of Sky Tuna
2 Bottles of Spider Scotch
1 Unlabeled Can of Food
1 Regular-Ass Onion

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Equipment1 Semi-Faulty Stove
1 Broken Oven
1 Fridge/Freezer
1 Sink
2 Clean Dishes
10 Dirty Dishes
7 Clean Mugs
1 Ugly Mug (You)
1 Clean Pot
1 Worn-Down Spatula
1 Egg Beater
The Knife
3 Dirty Towels
15 Plastic Silverware Sets
30 Solo Party Cups

>Dump an onion, an egg, and the unlabeled can into a pot and cook it on the stove until it seems edible, stirring occasionally with spatula

>Check the eggs for freshness first.

How deathly is the deathly soy sauce?

>Chop up the onion and start cooking it in some spider scotch (in the clean pot of course)

Slice onion and one chili pepper with the Knife, fry in Clean Pot.

Do your dang dishes while you wait for onions to brown.