Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

Apparently no one attempted to stab me last night

Oh okay then Shank Fogel



Also everyone please shank me tonight I promise nothing bad will happen to you or me or the game as a whole

Also claiming miller plz don't cop me

shankvote red why not.

BEHOLD, PEONS, FOR DURING THE NIGHT, I HAVE ADDED POWERFUL WHALE PARTS TO MY DEMONIC HELLACIOUS SHANKBORG.



TREMBLE ETC.

That doesn't even look like a real whale, let alone whale pants.

IF YOU CAN FIND ME A PAIR OF WHALE PANTS, I WILL ADD THEM TO THE MECHA.

"Excuse me." a voice piped up. It was a voice that might belong to a young woman in an apron and oven gloves who has just pulled a fresh apple pie out of the oven, who doesn't want to be a bother but isn't going to stop politely trying to get your attention until she has it. But with a slight synthetic quality to the voice. It was coming from the classic convertible belonging to Detective Carl Garland who come to think of it doesn't seem to be around right now.

"Excuse me," the voice repeated, "Carl - I mean Detective Garland, says I really shouldn't speak to suspects, but..." she hesitated, "well..." further hesitation and then she finally comes out with it. "Well he went out last night and he's not come back and I'm really worried about him. Please if any of you know where he is or what happened please let me know."

People were staring at the convertible, twisting their heads this way and that way, trying to see past the papers that had been sticky-taped inside the windows, in an attempt to believe that there was someone in there talking to them and that the voice they heard was not the car itself.

"Oh, I never introduced myself, how rude of me." The convertible (?) said shamefully. "I'm Old Betsy, I uh, I mean no don't call me that. I'm, uh, Officer Betsy. Yeah that's more like it." It wasn't really possible for a car to look smug but somehow Officer Betsy was managing it anyway, for like a whole second, before she remembered Carl was still gone.

Just when it seemed like her attempts at conversation were at an end, the door popped open revealing a freshly baked pie upon the dashboard. "Also I baked this apple pie for Car- I mean Detective Garland, but since he's not back yet... well I don't want it to go to waste. Help yourselves, but no looking at the evidence we've gathered, or else I shall be very cross."

Fear not, Solaris! I'm certain our goddess yet lives. She would not abandon us like this!

In the meanwhile, feel free to direct your worship towards my own humble self~

I pray to Whim for decent whale fashion.

I TOO WILL PRAY TO WHIMBREL SHOULD SHE GIVE ME THE FABLED WHALE PANTS.

WHIMBREL IS GODDESS OF CHAMPIGNON

No, the whale pants are for me.

CAN WE BOTH HAVE WHALE PANTS? I WANT TO ALSO HAVE FASHIONABLE CETEAN-THEMED UNDERWEAR TOO.

Whale pants all the time get some!

SHANK: Dalmationer for stretching my screen with that image.

edit: and for typing really loud

Ask and ye shall receive....WHALE PANTS!

Apple pie? Aw, Officer Betsy, you're too kind to us all...

*munch*

Groupshank: Fogel because it sounds like you need a little more peril in your life.

IN THE DEVIL'S NAME, THESE WHALE PANTS...
TRULY, YOU ARE A GODDESS.

Groupshankvote: Pick Yer Poison

Hello everyone, sorry for missing out day one.

SpoilerShow

BOoOOOOOOO

I eat the pie from the talking car.

Shankvote Dalmationer

Can we really afford to let this menace run amok?
She will stab you the second she gets the chance!

Assuming you are alive please tell me if you're the one who stabbed me last night

because apparently you were the only one and I congratulate you for being the only person who had the guts

STIQ YOUR PHILOSOPHIES CONFUSED MY HORRIBLE, MECHANISED BRAIN. WE ALL KNOW THAT THEY ARE INVALID ANYWAY. ALL THAT WOULD HAPPEN IS YOU WOULD SPAWN AN OFFSHOOT CONTINUITY STRAIGHT INTO

THE DEMONVERSE.

People, people. We should all keep our focus on what's important here.

shankvote amos yes